Not interested in marriage/romance?

by LtCmd.Lore 46 Replies latest jw friends

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  Smiles_Smiles

  I am disinterested in MARRIAGE. To me it is just a stamp by the government that puts me in a different tax bracket that is less beneficial for me at this time. If it ever becomes beneficial for me tax/insurance/financially then maybe my partner and I will get married. Both of us don't care about marriage one way or the other. Truthfully we would both rather not marry. But we will more than likely move in together.

  ROMANCE - I am a loner by nature. I can be in a relationship or not. I have very seldom ever had a problem with leaving a relationship that went sour. And I never really have had a problem entering a relationship that seemed to have good potential. I totally enjoy the one I am in now. I dont think I would be considered a romantic person even though my partner is quite romantic. That is not a must for me but I appreciate what is in my life.

  As for SEX ... I love it. Always have, pretty much. I was celibate while a JW but that doesn't mean I didnt love sex. Not everyone's sex is great but when you really have a great sex partner it is awesome. And when I havn't had a great sex partner self-sex and fantasy kept my love for sex alive.

  So that'sy 2 cents..

  Smiles
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  dawg

  My take... Sex, is a must... but I'd rather have it with someone that knows what I want and I know what she wants. When you know your lover's body, you can get the job done ASAP (if you catch my drift)... give her what she really wants, and if shes a friend she can tell you something you did that she wants you to do again-pleasure on top of pleasure, now experiences-learning together. Men are easy, we like to please, all you have to do is slip on some hot panties and point us in the right direction...LOL Romance, that's another subject. I feel like Chris Rock does about women, they're seldom happy no matter what you do... watch Chris Rock on you tube talking about ladies, he knows what the hell he's talking about. I've always read where the best comedy is the truest. I've lived with 3 ladies, off and on... I've had money, had no money, worked my ass off, was lazy, did it all.. tried it all, but you ladies are seldom just happy with your man... I beg one of you to differ on that! My thinking is it's evolution, we plant the seed and after the baby's about 7, we are supposed to move on.. you guys are sick of us by then, and we've probably grown tired of the bitching.. I'm serious here. I really do believe that the 40's might be the best time, I'm waiting to see how romance does in the so called golden years... but the young years... what I wrote above applies. I'm not being negative, I believe it's biological... no animal is monogamous.... but after they age, then they're much more willing to sit in the shade and relax while the young bulls do the screwing... not to say the old bull doesn't get out of that shade once in a while, but for most my friends my age, we care about ladies, but it isn't a top priority any longer. At least with the friends I have. Romance is the greatest thing a person experiences, but I've seen few couples that can keep that fire alive, I wish it would work that way for me and all of you, but fact it, you can on one hand the couples you know that are truly happy... and even if they say they are, they are divorced a few months after that declaration.
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  Layla33

  I was with the same man for eight years, six of it were pretty good, two I wish I could forget, but overall we parted on fairly good terms. I think I wanted to be married because I thought I had to be married and have children, etc. I worked my butt off in college because I wanted to have a good professional career that paid well, I dated men but realized they had no long term potential and I met someone who was nice to me, treated me well, was decent and compassionate. We had a good time together without all the fluff. I thought, "why not get married?". In a way I felt that getting marriage would authenticate me as a woman - oh so much I have learned.

  I think it says something pretty interesting in this society when there are more non-married couples than married for the first time. I have always admired people like my grandparents that have been married for over 63 years, but I sometimes don't think people in my generation (Generation X) believe too much in those type of relationships.

  I won't say I am gun shy about getting married, but I don't have any illusions or delusions about it. It really is just a piece of paper and some insurance and property value and tax deductions, everything else you don't need the government to give their stamp of approval. I am in no rush to get married again, and if it never happened again, I would be okay with that. I think more about finding love and companionship with the right person. Anyone can settle down with the wrong person and try to force a life. How many "wrong someones" do I meet in the course of a week and I know pretty quickly where it will go? I honestly think more about having children than I think about finding a romantic partner. I just don't feel rushed about it, although I do love the male species, I am doing okay by myself. When it happens, I will deal with it realistically, not like some fantasy story book romance novel nonsense.
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  Finally-Free

  I'm divorced and have been alone for 4 years. I haven't dated at all, and have no interest in it. While I'm interested in sex, I know it's not going to happen with my current "shut up, blow me and go home" attitude. I enjoy living alone and have accepted that that's the way I'll remain until I die.

  W
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  FlyingHighNow

  I have always admired people like my grandparents that have been married for over 63 years, but I sometimes don't think people in my generation (Generation X) believe too much in those type of relationships.

  It worked at one time, a lot better than it does these days.

  Finally Free, you are such a humorous codger for 49. Honestly, we really don't meet that many people we will be compatible with. When you're a kid, you have many, many "friends". But as you get older, you realize that truly close and compatible friends are not easy to find. The same with compatible romantic companions, you can date numerious people, but how many will you find that you can have a true connection?
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  freydi

  The reality is that men live longer with women and women live longer without men. Check out the nursing home scene. We all have to go sooner or later. I'm glad I'm going sooner. Have fun girls. It's the price you pay for independence.
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  FlyingHighNow

  I'm glad I'm going sooner.

  So, are you telling us you're at the end of your golden years? In the last of your life's winter?

  I think men live longer when they have a live in woman or wife because for the most part, the women look after their health. Men without a wife or live in woman tend to eat junk, not go to the doctor or take their medications, vitamins, herbs, etc.

  Women live longer once the man is gone because they don't have to take care of a man anymore. It's a lot less work and worry with making sure the guy is taking care of himself. They aren't waiting on a man hand and foot either.
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  freydi

  Something there doesn't sound logical. LOL You're all the same.
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  Bourne

  Maybe I'm crazy or a glutton for punishment, but oddly enough, I STILL have faith that marriage ( or at least a life-long commitment) can still work, IF both want it.

  Talking with the older crowd, I have been told that the love ebbs and flows, but it's the COMMITMENT to each other that fills in when the love is wearing thin.

  Others said that divorce was just not in the conversation, that to mention it was to show that you were open to the idea.

  Of course, this was within the realm of general problems and not the biggies ( drugs, adultery, physical abuse and the like). Just my two cents....

  Bourne
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  FlyingHighNow

  I'm not saying I have totally given up on the idea of marriage. For me though, I'd still probably like separate bedrooms, or at least each have a room they can retire to when needed.

  It would take someone very special and very compatible with me on every level, and some mental stability on top of that, to ever consider marriage again. I've been divorced twice and I lived with Andy for almost 6 years.