Help with a Wedding

by hotspur 13 Replies latest jw experiences

  • hotspur
    hotspur

    Joannadandy ---- you're so right. It was so clear to me this morning that she wasn't/isn't going to come that I kind of lost it with all the negativity. We spoke of many things today - some of her thinking was new to me. I never realised she had some doubts. I thought it was a good idea (nobody ever said I was clever) to add a few more to ponder over. I'm not certain it's doctrinal or just total intransigence with the JWs. Too much pride at stake or perhaps money through law-suits.

    We're going to visit my nearly new Mother-in-Law this week and for the first time in 40 years did I hear just a hint of jealousy over Mother's Day this sunday from my mother. She is definitely hurting over something. I think I just best let her wrestle with her conscience and the love we both have for each other. I hope love wins out! I would just hate to think JW fear has won again. They have so much to answer for.....

    troubledmind ---- I did that! Wedding photography, still do actually. My new wife-to-be is an excellent photographer and we do a good job together, even though I say so myself! Ha ha....

    You're right about the bother it causes, hats off to the guy who said go and don't tell anyone. Lucky he wasn't like some of the hypocrites I knew.... cheerfully send you on your way and, equally as cheerfully, stab you in the back as soon as you return!

    hc --- thanks for the formatting tip! :clap:

  • tijkmo
    tijkmo

    ***

    w819/15p.30IfaRelativeIsDisfellowshiped...***

    SOCIAL

    GATHERINGSANDDISFELLOWSHIPEDRELATIVES

    22

    Normally, relatives are often together at meals, picnics, family reunions or other social gatherings. But when someone has unrepentantly pursued sin and has had to be disfellowshiped, he may cause difficulties for his Christian relatives in regard to such gatherings. While they realize that they are still related to him, they do not want to ignore Paul’s advice that faithful Christians should "quit mixing in company" with an expelled sinner.

    23

    There is no point in looking for some rule as to family members being at gatherings where a disfellowshiped relative might be present. This would be something for those concerned to resolve, in keeping with Paul’s counsel. (1 Cor. 5:11) And yet it should be appreciated that if a disfellowshiped person is going to be at a gathering to which nonrelative Witnesses are invited, that may well affect what others do. For example, a Christian couple might be getting married at a Kingdom Hall. If a disfellowshiped relative comes to the Kingdom Hall for the wedding, obviously he could not be in the bridal party there or "give away" the bride. What, though, if there is a wedding feast or reception? This can be a happy social occasion, as it was in Cana when Jesus attended. (John 2:1, 2) But will the disfellowshiped relative be allowed to come or even be invited? If he was going to attend, many Christians, relatives or not, might conclude that they should not be there, to eat and associate with him, in view of Paul’s directions at 1 Corinthians 5:11.

    any objectors can be reminded that they weren't invited so they did not have to exercise their conscience on the matter. only those that were invited had to resolve it which i'm sure your mother is more than capable of doing herself..i assume she is a big girl now.

    are you a hotspurs fan...if so yay - the carling cup

  • Hortensia
    Hortensia

    my mother came to my wedding but stood outside the church and watched through a window. Bizarre. Why not leave it up to your mother - tell her you hope she'll come to the wedding, she's the only mother you have and it's really an important occasion where the family ought to be together, but it's up to her. Then get on with planning your wedding, and don't let this ruin your pleasure.

  • hotspur
    hotspur

    Thanks for your help everybody..... a few new things I hadn't considered so I'm very grateful. I guess when you're so close to such an emotive subject you can't always see things as clearly as others do.

    I called her this morning and left it entirely with her --- emotional blackmail? I know my daughter is keen for her Grandma to come so maybe I'll leave it with her.

    Anyway, thanks again.

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