Guilt

joelbear69

As many of you know I have been battling extreme anxiety and depression for almost a decade now.

Well, generally I do okay, taking things one day at a time.

I recently had to make the decision to extremely limit my contact with my parents who
are still active JW's and my brother's family who are in some sort of quasi-witness,
ex-witness state.

I am feeling rather guilty for this, but I swear I'm doing it for my own survival.

My parents have been witnesses for over 60 years. If they are an example of what
living among the "happiest people on earth" does to someone, then whoa, you just
have to pity anyone who stays in that long.

My efforts to try and bring even minute amounts of positivity to their lifeview have
been thwarted.

I feel bad to have given up, but my recovery is still occurring and it is fragile.

Meeting Junkie No More

I really feel your pain.

My family, luckily, is with me, but I have the same problem with some of my very good friends and it can be very draining.

Your parents being 'in it' for 60 years, I would suspect they are running on auto-pilot. They probably don't even give their thinking or responses even a second thought - or maybe, they unconsciously intuit that to realize that they have been believing a 'lie' for this long would be too painful to contemplate...and resiliency to a shift in worldview at their age may be severely diminished. They may be just content to 'cruise on into' the new system, so close at hand (ugh!)

I hate the Watchtower Society for what it does to people. It destroys their individuality, just deadens their whole self-development, with all its harpings on self-sacrifice and the eternal dangling of the carrot of the 'life to come'. Like I said, I feel your pain.

I think you are doing the right thing to look after yourself first. Some people just cannot be helped, no matter how much we may want to try. When it's your own parents, it must be doubly difficult. Peace to you in your struggle.

Hope4Others

Do what is best for you! There is only one you, unless you have a twin. But seriously, peace of mind is so important to help move on in life and live your dreams.

Probably most of us have suffered depression at one time or another,but finding true friends who except you for you help the healing time till you feel back to your self.

Edited to Add: Years ago I suffered depression and the words of my family doctor come to mind that I would like to share,

He told me, " If you can not resolve the problems get them the hell out of your life" (in those exact words)

That was the best advise I have ever taken to this day!

Hope4Others

NewYork44M

Guilt is a non productive emotion. Do what you have to do and let the chips fall where they may.

esw1966

Hang in there. It gets better!

I think it is good that you limit your association with those who hurt your well being. Do not feel any guilt for limiting your time with those who hurt your well-being. Hopefully, it will make them see themselves and their actions for who they are and what they are doing.

Most likely, they will feel justified by the borg and they will never see reality for what it is. That is why YOU need to take care of yourself and get yourself to a more secure and happy state of well being.

I've left all I knew as well. If I dwell on it, it can be confusing. When I try to rectify it, I only frustrate myself for days. In the end, for myself, I do my best, I offer myself to them on occassions to reach out to them in order to help them and to say I have not shunned them. But the best thing for me is to focus on my life. I am in school now for Surgical Technology and am loving it! My future is looking bright! Living a good life and being whole is your best answer to their garbage.

You will find wholeness away from them for now. You need that. Go for it!

Maddie

Guilt can be a terrible destructive force in our lives. There has to be a time, for self-preservation sake, when we need to move on and away from it. I wish you well and think you are being wise.

MisfitMeL

The guilt is always the worst!

I have so many issues and problems, especially dealing with depression. I try my best to keep my correspondence with my mum to a minimum.

Hang in there and be strong! I know I'll probably have to go through a similar problem in the near futur too :(

Eyes Open

All the best with your continuing journey joelbear69.

I don't know the background to your situation you've summarised there, but there's only one person each of us can be responsible for... and that holds true for your family, too. We can't make anyone think. So look after yourself, and live the life that is yours.

VoidEater

Hi Joel: To heal others, you must heal yourself first. To heal, you have to get out of toxic relationships.

To your health and wellbeing... -Void

Hortensia

Hey Joel, great progress. Get rid of those downers. That was a healthy decision. I know where you are coming from - I have dumped plenty of toxic people in the last few years. Now working on my confrontational abilities - had to fire a client today. Hard for a chronic appeaser, but needed to be done so I screwed up my courage and did it. Then sat around and cried. That's your stage - you've done the important thing, now you can go through the feelings and work them through. Blessings!

Guilt

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