by truthseeker 20 Replies latest jw friends
An MS stood in front of the coats and would not let me get mine. He only stepped aside when my husband came along and got my coat for me.
What good to these so called "brothers" think they are doing with things like this and not talking to people at the hall?
Sheesh, sorry you and your daughter had to go through that - really makes you want to go back again doesn't it???
BB
What good to these so called "brothers" think they are doing with things like this and not talking to people at the hall?
Sheesh, sorry you and your daughter had to go through that - really makes you want to go back again doesn't it???
BB
thanks BB
It was so weird - my hubby insists that the elders don't know anything about my views and I believe him.
Mind we are seen to be independent and enjoying our lives outside.
I am treated by some (hey! elders and their wives, COINCIDENTALLY hahaha) as if I am disfellowshipped, but I just dropped out. If I were you, I would tell wifey to join me staying at home, or deal with the fallout of me not being there. Not being mean, but just making a stand.
It's a safe bet that if you spent your time doing chores and ticking things off of the honeydo list instead of going to meetings, your wife will appreciate that a whole lot more than you going to the kh and being ignored. Your being so thoughtful and generous may also make her want to leave the JW's as well.
Some good suggestions, thanks.
Yep, this has been going on for five long years - it's impossible to maintain the status quo forever - I don't know how some of our active elders here make it year in, year out.
The brothers pretty much leave me alone - and I'm not complaining either - on the other hand neither do they call and my wife notices this - noone calls us or even her for that matter.
It's like the congregation only exists within the confines of the Kingdom Hall, and as soon as you leave, it all fades away.
These are my wilderness years, but they are also times of new learning and growth.
I'm not the greatest at this, but I am working on it.
In the end, it keeps coming back to showing love. The Bible says it heaps fiery coals upon their head. A mild word turns away rage. A word at the right time, oh, how sweet.
jw's are not loving people. They are angry and selfish. If you are able to overcome their rudeness and overlook their actions and shower them with love or kind words or actions, you will win in the end. You can never go wrong doing good. Then, they will be the ones to take the low road if you play the high road. I have found this to be true every time. Sooner or later, their actions and your conduct have to make them think. Besides it leaves you with a good conscience and in the end it is the only effective thing to do - be charitable.
Walk up to the person shunning you, hand them a Bible and ask him/her why he/she is shunning you scripturally?
My point is... are you a fornicator? An adulterer? A greedy person? Do you lie with men? Are you a fat ass (one of the reasons Paul gave to shun but no one ever does it)? Then they have no scriptural reason to shun you.
Well, you arent really free from the program are you tho?
I'm treated as DF'd by the brothers and sisters in the hall I left from and in the halls hundreds of miles away where our families go. The elders did know all my objections, but since I can play the "meek and mild" innocent role pretty darned good (after years of being raised a JW sister, it almost comes naturally) I was never DF'd. Never even had a JC about my disagreements. Then again, I only talked to the elders about it and left pretty fast afterwards. The memorial was the only meeting I made after that meeting with the elders and one "fringe family" who wouldn't be in on congregation gossip talked to me- but the rest of the hall looked away from me and it was obvious the gossip had spread.
After coming here and seeing elders at various steps of the process I'm actually all but convinced that one of the brothers who talked to me that day is a skeptic or maybe even apostate himself. He is way to smart, and he actually brought up the pyramid/origins of dates/false expectations of dates so I know he was really well read. I think it was the other elder's wife who spread the word so fast.
So yes, even though I wasn't DF'd I was shunned by the congregation at large.
