i hate the feeling that I'm constantly being controlled...

cognac

Every freaken thing I do is under a constant microscope... I feel like I'm constantly being judged and questioned and interrogated or "encouraged" to live my entire freaken life in a way that I don't want to. I can't even have an opinion they don't like. I feel like I'm suffocating and can't breath sometimes... Why the hell can't I just simply live a peaceful life??? I'm not hurting anyone... Why do I always have to walk around on eggshells??? I just want to hide in a cave sometimes...

JK666

cognac,

The older you get, the less you care what others think. Grow a "don't give a $hit attitude," it helps.

JK

oompa

I wanted to go far, far, away......you want to live in a cave...very similar. What we really want is to fit in...somehow, despite what you think, feel, or belive...and that is very hard in dubland......................look elsewhere....you must................oompa

dawg

Maybe you need a spanking? LOL... But seriously, I used to know how you feel... its nice to be free, but there's a huge trade off.. no family... I mean, screw the so called friends, the family is what I miss the most... but I wouldn't trade my freedom for it.

Gopher

It's been my experience that people who put you under a microscope do so to put you down, as a diversion tactic to avoid having people look closely at them. Often they're doing the very things that they scold others for doing.

All the judgment, "encouragement" and monitoring is a sign of insecurity. People who lead or have influence in high-control religions want to keep others off balance by making them feel inadequate. Grown-ups know how to get along with other grown-ups, without constantly pestering them.

Until you escape the organization, there is no escape from regular association with people who try to ruin your life. Not all of the JW's do that, but too many do.

Maddie

Cognac It is really awful to feel that every aspect of our life is being controlled in this way, but this only happens if we allow it to. Take your power back instead of giving it away or you will be forever pushed and pulled by the dictates of other people. In recovery I learned that I had been a people pleaser and my life was governed by what people thought of me and wanted me to do. It is often caused by low self-esteem because we don't value ourselves in the way we should. I only valued myself by how I thought other people saw me instead of having inner belief in myself, regardless of their opinions. Remember, you have a right to be true to yourself honey.

Maddie

cognac

Thanks everyone for the encouragement and advice... Dawg, you always make me laugh... I appreciate it everyone!

skeeter1

Freedom of Religion?

Your feelings of being controlled to every last detail is a sign you might be in a cult.

Skeeter

Finally-Free

I felt the same, and I eventually got what I wanted. It didn't come cheap. It cost me my marriage and my home.

W

anewme

Cognac, I felt the very same way!!! Suffocated!!! And BORED OUT OF MY SKULL!!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Like Dawg said, I miss my family terribly, but I would not trade my freedom for it, no way!

i hate the feeling that I'm constantly being controlled...

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