Don't argue scripture with her. Use the fact that she has a daughter and show her all of the news reports about the child molestation and resulting cover ups at www.silentlambs.com You could also show her the the stories about disfellowshipping on youtube. Make it clear to her that if she gets baptized and then changes her mind, her parents more than likely will have nothing to do with her.
My Fiancé Can No Longer Talk to Me Because She is Becoming a JW
by reekster 44 Replies latest jw friends
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Hope4Others
I'm sorry that you are having your heart ripped out of you. Now that you have mentioned you live out of state from her I can see that this will pose your problem.
I have never seen long distance relationships work as yet. It is easier to move on when your apart, she has others around to encourage her to "fight the fine fight" as it may
on a daily basis in your absence. I wish you the best but I would not hold my breath. Hopefully she will come to her senses and let love prevail.
Bestwishes
Hope4Others
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PaNiCAtTaCk
You are part of the world and she cant get baptized while dating someone of the world, much less have any privledges. Anything you do at this point will only convince her that its the truth. She will view anything negative as an attack, further proving its the truth. "The sister told me this would happen", mentality. good luck
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shell69
Sp Awfull to read this, you obviously love this young lady. But, Beware. This organization will do whatever is takes to controll her mind, and if that meant separating her from her beloved, her mum, her dad, her daughter or her siblings....... they don't care!
Jehovah, the invisible god, who will take care of all her needs, is all she needs to know.!
Do everything within your power to save her. But if she doesnt want to listen, if she's too far down the line, then let her be for a while.
She'll know you love her unconditionally. This is not something that she'll EVER experience insinde the organisation. She may be back in your arms before you know it!
Good Luck, and blessed be.
Shell69
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blondie
A ten year engagement, eh? I take it this wasn't a platonic relationship. She would have to prove that here is no physical relationship any longer if she wants to get baptized as a jw. No living under the same roof, no being together without a chaperone. Now if you studied and became a jw and married her, she could probably talk to you. Getting married to non-jws is frowned upon.
Hopefully, she will learn that real "truth" about the WTS and come back.
It does seem quite extreme that she is forbidden to talk to you, after all, how will she be able to convert you?
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Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit
I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Is there any chance that she has some previous background w/ the JWs???
Perhaps you can hit all of the big JW conspiracies at once. . .the Watch Tower Society's UN NGO membership for 10 years, the changes in the NO BLOOD doctrine + the fact that they would disfellowship her for saving her own life by taking a transfusion, the great pedophile debacle of 2007 featuring a LARGE cash settlement paid to victims--uniquely the only one we can think of in history with a strict gag order in place, the constantly changing doctrines including altering dates then denying they said any such thing--our favorite was the doctrine that 1975 was going to be the end of 'this system' which played in earnest in their written literature and in public talks at international conventions--then in 1976 they said that The Society never said the end would be in 1975 it was THE FLOCK, that damned-overly-enthusiastic-for-the-end-to-come-flock who kept saying it. . .that made US who were JW's in 1976 mindlessly, obediently say 'we shouldn't have done that, thank you Faithful and Wise Slave for correcting our thinking'.
Here's something she won't know until it's too late, and even then she won't question it: When she gets baptized, the baptism 'oath' that JWs repeat says that her baptism means that she's now a Jehovah's Witness and that she believes that the WTS is God's voice and organization on earth, when earlier versions, just 25 yrs ago or so, of the baptism oath focused solely on dedication to God and recognition of the need of Christ's sacrifice for and confession of sins.
Everything in their books that your fiance has studied is all carefully worded to lead 'students' to believe certain things, that is why she has no evidence with which to thwart you, there isn't any. Perhaps you can open her eyes.
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Cc81
i am so sorry for all of the sadness that you are enduring right now. My thoughts are with you and i hope that you can or someone else can get through to her.
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darkuncle29
Sorry you're in this sucky painful situation.
You've got alot of good advice here, read it over every day for a week. Think about it.
Definetly read the Steven Hassan book about releasing the bonds. Also -VERY IMPORTANT- inoculate yourself against the JW beliefs and learn how they work. Crisis of Con is a good read for that, much of it may not make sense to you as you were never a JW (?) but if you choose to go in on a rescue mission the information will be dormant but useful.
Make no mistake, this is a very delicate procedure, not to be udertaken like a bull in a china shop. Sometimes the best action is no-action.
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willyloman
Am I the only one who thinks this is more about her than about the dubs? The circumstances you describe amounts to a pretty flimsy, but highly original, excuse for breaking off a 10-year relationship.
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steve2
This sounds really tough for you, but it doesn't sound like it's a picnic for her either. However, you need to hear more than empathic responses:
First, whether you believe it or not, it is better that she has broken things off before you two married - there are so many divided JW households where the couples slowly drive each other to despair and beyond.
Second, there are presumably no children involved - at least no chronological children, although many couples have entrenched tendencies to behave like children!
Third, people break up for all sorts of reasons, of which religious affiliation is only one. Most break-ups occur around some kind of relationship conflict or "falling in love" with someone or something else. Your ex seems to be in the process of forming an intimate attachment to a belief system that will ensure she remains separated from you. Even if she chose to come back, do you want to be in a relationship where a third party rules the roost?
Fourth, the extent to which you reach out to her and try and persuade her to come back is entirely over to you. Personally, I think you are better off without being lumbered with a JW-influenced partner. As painful as this experience is, this may be your opportunity to think about the kind of love relationship you really want and then seek out and develop a more adult relationship with another woman - a woman who is not enticed by anyone or anything else. All the best.