Can I (a Christian) go out with a jw?

by asdf44 44 Replies latest social relationships

  • jgnat
    jgnat
    There have been successful relationships though, right?

    I'm a regular Christian married to a Witness. We still have many conflicts over religion, but we make it work with lots of communication and compromise. Neither of our congregations are happy with the consequences of our union. Both carry a faint hope either one or the other will convert to them. I would not have married him if we intended to have any children, however. I would not impose this sort of crazy marriage on an innocent.

    You're right at the beginning, thinking of dating, right? What is the risk? She will say no. Oh well.

    What if she says yes? You got a whole can of worms to deal with. Are you willing, for instance, to imagine her and your newborn child dying during delivery from loss of blood, and letting her do it because of her beliefs?

    I would say other than "athiest", you are the least prepared to deal with the complexities and the commitments being a Witness or a friend of a Witness. You are a nominal Christian. You don't know why you believe what you believe. You haven't researched the foundations of the Orthodox Christian point of view. You can't spot the inconsistencies and the illogic in the Witness beliefs. So besides being unprepared for the emotional toll of your differing beliefs, you are ill-prepared to discuss the foundations of your respective beliefs.

  • Maddie
    Maddie

    Ýou may come to regret it in time because of the JW's being so controlling over their members. It would probably benefit you to stay JWD and read about all the pain and problems being a JW causes people.

    Maddie

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    according to JW beliefs you are a non believer, wordly, bad association and could tempt the JW into wrong doing - for which she will have to deal with sever consequinces (sp?)

  • AlyMC
    AlyMC

    It is possible, sure. I know plenty of people who married "unevenly" as they say. Here is the problem though, it really isn't worth the struggle it will inevitably be.

    To exemplify what I mean, when I chose to leave being a JW my husband was a still a believer. The only reason he left is because he has never seen a marriage survive *happily and successfully* where one partner was a JW and one was not. He was raised in the religion, by an elder- so he had plenty of time to see it and never did.

    After they finally accept her being with a worldly person (will not happen until well into your marriage) they will "encourage her" by telling her she is so strong to "survive" being partnered to you (those who aren't JW's or receptive to being one are tools of satan in essence) and this will begin to go to her head. She will likely begin to see you as a negative force in her life, I do believe.

    Also, while some of her biblical discussions can seem "reasonable" to someone who isn't well versed in the bible... the truth is that her beliefs are extremely unfounded and irrational. Not to mention life altering (no holidays, no voting, limiting association with your worldly family and friends, limiting recreation, no "R" movies, no blood transfusions if you need one, etc) The entire doctrine hinges on facts that are completely unfounded biblically.

    So as I see it, to be with her long term you have "giving up everything" on one hand and "being considered a tool Satan is using to pull her away from god" on another. Not an appealing set of choices.

  • babygirl75
    babygirl75

    not unless you are glutton for punishment!!

    The elders will be sure to make both your lives miserable! Don't you know you are bad association for her!?!?!

  • momzcrazy
    momzcrazy

    Sorry you aren't getting a more positive answer. If she is strong in the religion, she will probably not go out with you. If she does, she will feel guilty. That leads to a meeting with the elders. And then no more dates with you. Heaven forbid the two of you have sex. Then double everything in intensity. If she is weak and you date and get married, she will probably get strong again and bug you to study and join. Then your life will be a living hell.

    I agree with what everyone here said. Run away. Sorry, honey. Go for someone with a background similar to yours. The Witnesses are poison.

    momz

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    Grannies advice. Forget it.... Your being warned . If she goes out with you, she will try to convert you, if she says no. It is not because she doeant like you it is because she MUST NOT have anything to do witha WORLDLY PERSOn that you are to them...

    The discission is yours!!!!!!You say your a Christian.....then pray about it.

  • Mr. Majestic
    Mr. Majestic

    Way to be positive guys……..(LOL)

    The only way to go out with a JW (in good standing) would be to be a JW.

    I don’t think that anyone here would recommend that for you….

    If she is not that strong in the religion, you might stand a chance. But apart from that, it’s what everyone else has said…

    Good luck / bad luck….. delete as applicable

  • undercover
    undercover

    Unfortunately, from the Witness viewpoint, you are not a Christian.

    According to Witness doctrine, only Witnesses can be True Christians. Anyone outside of God's Organization (read: Jehovah's Witnessses) are part of Satan's system and are doomed for destruction.

    The Witnesses preach to all their followers to "not become unevenly yoked with unbelievers", which is exactly what you are in their eyes.

    Any relationship with a JW is going to cause more pain and stress than its worth, for both parties.

    Not what you wanted to hear I know, but you did ask and since most of us are familiar with the JW lifestyle who better to advise?

  • tank3r87
    tank3r87

    Hey, Im new here.. Signed up cos im like in the same situation asdf44.I'm non-practicing catholic and i like this girl who just turned JW last year march. she has said it might not work out, but we're still friends. isnt there a possibility that things might work or maybe help her out of this religion?

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