How would you answer this........

by fifi40 27 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  OnTheWayOut

  The one thing he kept saying is that even if it is wrong it is not a bad way to live your life............

  It is not a bad way of life, except you are taught to look down upon anyone who disagrees with the teachings.
  Educated people are scoffed at, because they have not accepted the teachings of WTS. Great knowledge
  is to be ignored. People who used to believe are to be shunned- even parents and grandparents or sons and
  daughters and grandsons and granddaughters.

  The JW way of life teaches members to be paranoid about any act of kindness from an outsider, to totally
  distrust them. It teaches paranoia about entertainment and holidays. It teaches members to be totally obsessed
  with demonism. The JW way of life causes depression among members who are just trying to make a
  living, so are looked down upon by the congregation as "weak."

  JW's have been told since 1914 that the end is imminent, so college is a waste of time. People have been growing
  old and dying, after being told they would never finish high school, college, or ever work in their field of expertise.
  This has kept many from getting a decent retirement. You may view that as a temporary suffering for a good
  cause, but God never said to avoid an education, but to seek knowledge and to provide for a family.

  JW's morals are no better than those of most religions. They just think they are better than others. If God is going
  to destroy innocent children because their parents never accepted a study in the WT literature, then I wouldn't
  want to continue in that way of life, surviving with the stuck-up JW's who said, "We were right, they were wrong."

  I think your answers depend on your passions. I personally hate them telling people to give up education and
  enjoyment of life. I personally hate them "laying off" their Bethel family members after decades of sacrifice.
• 

  Witness 007

  Very hard I really cant give advice since I dont have kid's......but good luck.
• 

  PoppyR

  ((((Fi)))) You know I get what you're going through, I have asked myself that question about is it such a bad life. Well No, there are worse paths to choose. But given the option I think you've told me you wish you'd never been baptised, etc. I certainly do.

  I think the huge things are lack of education, lack of choice of a career you might actually enjoy. Marrying someone cos you want to have sex and rushing through the 'are we right for each other' part. And the negative and judgemental attitude. And dont get me started on birthdays!

  BUT I think you should take the weight and guilt off your shoulders, you are not making these decisions for your son, all you are doing is what any GOOD parent would do, giving him the information and the choice, What a lucky boy. I would say dont push, give him a little, then step back, let him think, carry on as before.

  As to the EX, sometimes they forget that we are 50% of the parenting, and why should we sit by and allow them to only give our children one point of view.

  Your a fantastic caring, loving, giving person and mother, in time your son will appreciate that. Just keep doing what you're doing!

  Poppy
• 

  AudeSapere

  I really don't think harping on doctrinal issues will sway a witness.

  Emotional and moral issues may soften their hearts.

  And being a witness does stiffle a person. They may see it as a protection now, but it really is a stiffling. And is it really a good way of life to view this life as temporary and only the New System as the 'real' life? Or to view all worldly people with deep suspicion?

  I don't think so.

  Hopefully you son is not baptized. If he is, is it really OK for his friends and especially his family to cut him out of their lives if he 'messes up' or decides to not ve a witness anymore? That is not OK. I bet he knows DF'd kids. Does he really think that is right??

  -Aude.
• 

  LouBelle

  Hi Fifi40 - you said your ex mentioned that living a JW wasn't a bad life - you can tell him then that is the case with ANY religion - they all teach a good moral doctrine - but it's fact that they want to control every aspect of your life, the fact that they say they are the only one and true religion yet the past doens't prove that. The fact that they have decieved the rank and file so convincingly

  Keep speaking to your son!
• 

  Duncan

  Hi fifi

  Sorry to hear about the trouble you're having with your ex and your son.

  "Even if it's all wrong, it's a great way to live" is something I guess we have all heard from time to time. I reckon I mght even have said it myself during my tortured shall-I-stay-or-shall-I-go exit all those years ago.

  A moment's reflection though, is really all it takes to see what nonsense that position is - as so many other posters have already pointed out.

  I think the good news here is that - IMHO - this kind of sentiment is only ever expressed by those who are, in fact, harbouring doubts about it all. They're the ones who need the comfort of that stupid little mantra. It helps you live with yourself.

  For what it's worth, my only advice would be don't discuss Jehovah's Witnesses, or their teachings or doctrines or beliefs or anything like that. You know that dubs have extremely well reinforced conditioning that kicks in whenever it comes to defending JW's versus other religions.

  Don't talk about JW's at all. Just talk about the bible. A poster on here called Running Man has written a book - The Athiests book of Bible Stories - which is simply brillaint in its destruction Old Testament bible stories as literal truth. It's well written, witty, and devastatingly effective. Your 15 year old will love it.

  Download it (it's only 150 pages in word format) from this thread:

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/10/154236/1.ashx

  take care, kindest regards

  Duncan.
• 

  fifi40

  Thanks all for your comments and help.........just to update you

  I asked my son what the elder had said to him about 607 BCE, at first he was reluctant to discuss it with me but I told him his dad had said to ask him as he couldnt answer it :).........(awesome, we teach this but we cant explain it). He told me what the elder had said and I said ok but the jw group are the only people who believe that date to be right you can check this for yourself........he answered as I would expect that he doesnt need to check what the organisation says.......so my (now) atheist husband asked him why he wouldnt want to check things for himself. He grinned from ear to ear (my son) because other than fear he didnt have an answer and I said as much to them both. I then said to my son that if he was talking to a Mormon, or a Catholic etc wouldnt he expect them to check what they were being taught against fact and he replied 'Yes'.........I then said would you expect God to punish a Mormon for checking for himself the accuracy of what he was being taught and he said 'No'........I left it at that.......other than to retstate that whatever his life decisions and no matter how many times he changes his mind I will love him and support him 100%.

  Earlier in this conversation I had also said to him that I knew that jws would be saying I was an apostate and that satan was using me to test him so that he is aware that I am aware and know what will be said about me.

  During the week I had ordered and received Steven Hassan's book on combatting cult mind control and I am about one third through it.......I would recommend it to anyone in a similar position to myself........one of the points in it, and thanks to Auldspere for making this point, is that it is not always the right way to confront people who are under the influence of a mind control organisation about doctrinal issues, but can be more beneficial to get the person under to consider other religious groups and how they operate and if possible get them in a position where they chat with someone who has left a mind control organisation.

  In a bizaare twist of events ex hubby ended up in hospital this weekend........he is due for a CAT scan this morning as they think he has kidney stones.........so I guess he is thinking Satan is realy testing him at the moment. My ex has a cleaning business, as do I and he had one job which required doing yesterday. This apostate ended up doing it for him. My now hubby asked me why I would do it given the conversation we had early in the week, (he actually helped me do it in the end) and I said because that is who I am..........if it was my now hubby's ex that needed help I would give it.......he knows this to be true so he got it.

  Fi
• 

  fifi40

  Thanks Duncan

  I will look at that later...........must get some work done now......:)

  Thanks again

  Fi