Memorial conundrum - "So good to see you. Where have you been?"

by Meeting Junkie No More 42 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Meeting Junkie No More

  Ok, gearing up for the Memorial - our annual HAVE TO attend. This is the first year that we will be showing up without having been to meetings in months. On the last meeting I was cajoled into attending, I was bombarded with the above question. Just wondering if any of you have some witty but concise comebacks I could use to deflect this insincere 'come back to the cult', without tripping over myself trying to make excuses why we haven't been there.

  We plan on arriving just before start-up time, and sneaking out as quickly as possible when it's over, but I'm sure we'll be corralled by the 'elders'. You guys always come up with some real great comebacks...anyone? Thanks in advance...
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  blondie

  Come just when it starts and head for the door at the last word of the final prayer. Don't hang around.
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  Meeting Junkie No More

  Sounds good, Blondie. Maybe that's the sign as to who is mentally already 'out of here' - I'll make a note of all the stampeders right after the final prayer!
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  jgnat

  Body language and deflect. For body language, stand tall, eyes bold and warm, large smile, firm handshake. For deflect, make it all about them. People are largely self-absorbed anyways. As in, (warm smile, firm handshake) "Just fine. And how are YOU? Last I heard you were planning to build that BOAT. Did you ever get STARTED?"
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  jgnat

  Oh, yes. One of my newest hobbies. Find the outcasts and strike up a conversation with them. They are easily spotted in their turtle-necks and other "inappropriate" dress. Ask how they managed to get dragged out to the event. Tell them wild horses won't drag you back again and wink.
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  Meeting Junkie No More

  jgnat: Brilliant, I say! Thank you for your amazing suggestions. Can't wait to implement!
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  jgnat

  Oh, yes. For "How did you find the talk?" I look them seriously in the eye and ask them if they really want to know. Then I ask what their favorite part was. Blondie is absolutely right, they will have already forgotten.
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  SPAZnik

  Attend at a hall where noone knows ya.

  This way people are delighted by your presence
  instead of critical of past absences
  and if it your absence from your usuall hall comes up
  you can simply say, "oh, we attended at such and such a hall".

  This has worked for some.
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  undercover

  "Good to see you. Where have you been?"

  "Hey...how's it goin'? You look good."

  "We've missed you. Where've you been?"

  "No where really. Working, staying busy...you know...life in general."

  "Well...I'm worried about you. You've missed a lot of meetings."

  "I'm fine. Thank you for your concern, but there's nothing to worry about."

  "Has something happened? Can I help? I'm concerned about your missing meetings and service"

  "Look...I'm not going to talk about it. If you keep pressing me, I'm going to tell you things you don't want to hear and I'm going to bust your little world wide open. If you're happy with your life, leave it be...don't go looking for trouble you can't handle."

  ...silence...

  I had that conversation, almost word for word, with a JW friend who couldn't let it go. He started the conversation with the same phrase that you're worried about. I don't know if my responses were the best way, but it did shut him up eventually.
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  jgnat

  Touching the untouchable is fun. Watch those assigned to keep an eye on them break in to a cold sweat. Wouldn't they just DIE to know what you talked about? It's funny, but it's taken me five years to clue in that there are all sorts of outcasts and fringe characters at these events. They are children and ex-spouses, relatives of all sorts of regular Witnesses, ALSO dragged out against their better judgement.

  It's amazing how well the Witnesses "divide and conquer" at these events. But even the most diligent study leader must slip away to glad-hand the CO or to catch up on the latest gossip from her pioneer biddies.