HI IM BACK AND MUCH NICER (page 2)

bite me

welcome back, I hope everything goes well for you.

Cordelia

Go i was bit tipsy you know what scares me i cant remember writing that much!!!

anyway gonna sort things out soon, i've done well with not going meetings i've not been for 9 months, quite hard as my family just don't give up even today my dad emailed ,me at work the days text about a guy called mario who did drugs nearly got aids was in prison and is so blessed now he is reinstated!! apparently all it takes is going to jw meetings and reading their literture!!!

prob is why i drink and why feel so bad sometimes is.... my mum dad and sister are really ill, my sister (whos wedding i apparently ruined coz i was dfed) has to have a major heart op and docs have said she needs blood which she wont have i said how can i help she said go to meetings!!

sometimes i feel like i should just go back coz how will i feel if my lovely family do die! and i have hurt them so much, but i drink coz i not going to go back i have come so far, i just feel so bad sometimes!!

nelly136

"nearly got aids"

that sentence is kinda ironic if you're on the outside looking in,

theyre bombarding you with emotional blackmail, when its your fault for anything everything and which way the winds blowing you just have to step back and take a deep breath.

if its any consolation i was blamed for my father (who never had a higher blood than alchohol count that i can remember in my entire life) for being an alcoholic, and then him being suicidal, and then of course it was down to me that he started smoking and got dfd. (nothing to do with him pre-empting an adultery accusation by my mother of course)

AudeSapere

Hi Cordelia -

If this life is all there is, you have to make the most of it for yourself.

If there is an afterlife, still show that you cherish the opportunity to life your life by making the most of it for yourself but do it with an intent to not upset other more than you have to. It's still your life and you need to live it.

I think you hurt yourself and your family more by waffling back and forth. You've done the research. You know what's not true. Be consistent and firm and learn how to take care of yourself. Work your job, pay your bills, take a couple of classes, and enjoy your freedom.

I really do wish you the best.

-Aude.

Cordelia

Thanks guys,

i know i need to sort things out, i have come far tho my little girl was 6 the other day i sent her to school dressed like a fairy with a big badge on, with loads of pressies for the kids, she loved it, theres witnesses at the school and u know what i just didnt care,

also i have been on the radio doing a weird speed blind date thing, apparently all witnesses tuned in how sad is that, maybe they will finally realise i dont want it anymore,

anyway thanks for all your patience its great to vent sometime x

Lady Lee

Talk about emotional abuse!!! Your family could be the poster gang for how to make someone the scapegoat for everything that goes wrong

Cordelia

Thanks lady lee i have always respected what you think, i klnow thats true....... but..... they don't mean to, thats whats so hard for me they really believe they need to save me!!!!

HI IM BACK AND MUCH NICER

Share this