My Step Son

Yerusalyim

I picked up my 18 year old step son today, I mentioned last week that his dad threw him out because Sean and his step mom didn't get along. Dad handed off luggage, etc, a hug and a reminder to "go to meetings as often as you can."

As soon as his dad was out of ear shot Sean said, "Well, I'm 18 now, I have options, what would I have to do if I wanted to become Catholic?"

No, I won't prey on his emotional uphevel at being tossed out by dad, I'll offer to get him to meetings when I can, and invite him to church with me, just as I've always done.

Pray for him.

YERUSALYIM
"Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
[Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"]

willy_think

Yerusalyim, great news thanks for posting it! good luck with him. you guys are in my prayers.

willy think: thread killer

CatholicGuy

If he's with you at Christmas try inviting him to Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve. It's always one of our family highlights. We go and when we get home the kids get to open one of their presents before going to bed. Of course, we sleep in a tad longer Christmas morning and then do the rest of the presents!

CatholicGuy

not my webpage but a favorite:
http://ic.net/~erasmus/RAZHOME.HTM

ashitaka

Just give and keep giving him reasons to not return. First and foremost in his mind will be the lack of pressure to be perfect. My wife was browbeaten for the smallest indiscretion, even if she made a wonderful dinner for her parents, they would critisize her if the silverware of out of place.

Unfortunatly, witnesses eventually let their militaristic attitude take over family life, and the whole house become part of "jehovah's encampment'.

Just show him what real people think and do, and how their love seems to stretch to the tangible bounds of christian love, while the JW's is hinged on outdated inhibition.

ashi

pettygrudger

Yeru - just let him take his time. He's an adult now, and his upbringing sounds like its been emotionally upheaving & confusing at best. Is he going to college?

Getting him adjusted to "normalcy" in itself will probably take awhile. I hope his younger siblings are okay. They'll probably be coming along shortly.

As far as his religious views, give him time. Let him weed it out for himself. Its obvious that his father has pretty much "written him off", by not even offering to come to take him to meetings. What Christian love!!!!!

I think you're great to take on such a complicated situation.

God Bless You and Your Family.

Peace
Rhonda

Yerusalyim

Petty,

Well, in Garry's defense (he's Sean's dad) it would be a 1450 mile round trip to take Sean to meetings. However, that Garry would toss out his 18 year old senior in High School in mid term (did I mention Sean is also mildly autistic), that doesn't speak well in Garry's defense.

As for Sean making meetings, whenever he's been with us I've taken him when he wanted to go. Last summer while he stayed with us he opted to attend mass with me and then we would sometimes go to the meeting. He actually opted for mass more often than meetings.

For at least the last two years he's been discussing Society doctrines with me. I've been honest, without being too critical of the society.

Sean was having doubts as to the whole two classes of Christians, and that only the Society has the Truth (motivated in part by having a young female friend who was Christian but not a JW).

On the car ride home (725 miles worth) he asked questions concerning Catholic Doctrine as opposed to JW doctrine and clarification on what the Society Presents as Catholic doctrine as opposed to what it really is. He has decided to take classes to see if he wants to convert (his idea not mine) and is going to invite his mom to attend with him (also, his idea).

Had Sean not been expressing doubts about the society before, I would suspect that this was all tied into rebellion about what his dad has done to him. While I don't dismiss this as possibly being part of the motivation, I also know that it's rooted in true doubts.

YERUSALYIM
"Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
[Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"]

pettygrudger

Yeru - I hope your family knows what a wonderful guy you are!!! Sean is blessed to have such a wonderful, understanding step-dad.

It burns me up to think that his own father is so p.w.'d that he would risk (in his eyes) his own son's "eternal salvation" for a piece of @&&!!!! Having a child with autism, I know the special challenges they present, and I get "burnt out" sometimes.

Just by your example you will be doing more for Sean spiritually, mentally & emotionally than its obvious his biological father is capable of.

Hats off to you Yeru - you're the best (even if you're a totally right-wing republican

Yerusalyim

Petty,

It burns me up to think that his own father is so p.w.'d that he would risk (in his eyes) his own son's "eternal salvation" for a piece of @&&!!!!

Yep, that pretty much seems to sum it up.

You have an Autistic son too? Sean is a blessing. Bright, inquisitive, funny... it's a joy to be with him, and challenging too.

YERUSALYIM
"Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
[Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"]

pettygrudger

Yes, my 5 year old has autism, along with apraxia (severe language impediment). He presents a new challenge every day!!!!

Yes, auti's are quite bright, its a matter of finding the avenue their brains want to take. Actually, 80% Nobel Peace Prize winners & alot of the greatest inventors (Einstein, Edison) all had forms of autism - Aspergers (high functioning).

It can be extremely difficult, but extremely rewarding as well. I would "assume" that Sean has a difficult time with social situations and picking up clues as to others true emotions. Hopefully, this helped defray some of the negativity that would come from knowing your own father would turn you out because of a piece of @$$.

Good luck to you

Peace,
Rhonda

Satanus

Yeru

It's an admirable thing you do. A catholic taking in a cast-off jw. Put that on a newspaper headline.

Anyway, there is a lot in him that needs deprogramming. He can do a lot himself. I'm not sugesting you do it, if you don't want to. If he got on here, he might find it interesting. One book that has helped a lot of jws is crisis of conscience. I would suggest just having one lying around. Eventually, in his curiosity, he will pick it up.

SS

My Step Son

Share this