I've told hubby I don't believe it's the true religion...

by cognac 21 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  lovelylil

  cognac,

  Don't forget to call me if you want to talk!

  I think talking in front of the therapist so she can mediate is a great idea. Things are always the hardest when you first get the words out. Your hubby is probably feeling like his world is upside down right now. Maybe you can bring up a few points when you are with the therapist that will get your hubby to really think?

  When I first told my hubby how I felt he got very upset too and wanted a divorce. But then he calmed down. And little did I know that he actually was thinking about all the things I told him were problems for me. A few weeks later he said some of my points were valid.

  Anyway, I'll be praying for you and thinking about you. Peace, Lilly
• 

  jgnat

  1914....I did. He said because of world war 1, bla, bla bla...

  Ask him about the war of 1812, the Boer War, the Crimean War, the Roman conquest and defeat, World War 2, the Cold War...if you look at human history as a whole, nothing has changed. WW1 was not that much different from what came before or what followed.

  I've seen the argument in the literature that the new technologies in WW1 made it that much easier to kill each other off. It is argued that for the first time in human history, the devastation was that much more worse because of bullets, tanks, and heavy guns. Also in the literature some historian is trotted out to describe World War 1, or the "Great War" as the pivotal war in human history.

  But one could say the same for Hiroshima. Which I would suggest would be a much more pivotal moment in world history. All of a sudden, countries weren't as eager to blow each other up, because for the first time in world history, we could actually succeed in wiping each other off the planet. So we stopped.

  Check out the very kwel conflict map below. You can drag the timeline along to see how conflicts have changed over the decades.

  http://nobelprize.org/educational_games/peace/conflictmap/
• 

  SPAZnik

  I generally have nothing but respect for people who tell me what they honestly think.

  Honesty is so easy to respect.

  I hope he figures that out somewhere along the way
  and that you get the respect you deserve for your courage.
• 

  Black Sheep

  My wife is upset that I am downloading an anti-cult episode of The Simpsons. (Once upon a Sect)
  
  I have made it clear that I no longer consider the WT as a target for my activities, but that it is just one of a group of dangerous cults, the only thing that is special about it is that it is the one that I had the misfortune to be born into.
  
  She has made it clear that she distrusts Apostates of ANY religion, saying that their Apostates are disaffected and will lie to denigrate their leaders and that, in order to get the Truth about their religious beliefs you must get it from THEIR literature, not from their Apostates.
  
  She is an Apostate Anglican.
  
  You just can't win.
  
  Cheers
  Chris
• 

  bigmouth

  All power to you cognac. I'm really impressed. Men get angry before they get upset about being fooled so...... maybe something good will happen here ?
  
  
  To Chris (Cecil)
  -My wife is upset that I am downloading an anti-cult episode of The Simpsons. (Once upon a Sect) - is that the Movementarian one ?
• 

  quietlyleaving

  cognac

  Anyways, I figure I'm gonna say everything I feel in front of the therapist, I need to tell him everything in front of a mediator... Not just in a situation where he just thinks this thing will go away and can hurt me to guilt me into believing in the JWs...

  good for you cognac.

  My husband has settled into a peaceful compromise. He was very upset at first and looking back I was in a mess too - panic attacks, shock etc. Having a professional as mediator will help to dignify your postion and give him new perspective. I wish I'd done that. But my family doctor did question my husband which shocked him and helped him to see that I and my daughter had professional backing and that the "spiritual" behaviour (bullying) the society encourages in men is not acceptable. He is a much nicer person for it.

  best wishes to you

  ql
• 

  Princess Daisy Boo

  Good Luck!!!
• 

  LouBelle

  You keep letting him know you love him - that is so important. I can't offer anything else cos I was not married when I left - I just had family and well my sanity came first.
• 

  WTWizard

  Well, I am glad the worst part is done now. You're in therapy for it, and now the husband knows that you feel that it is not the truth. And that is going to count in your favor in the future, being honest about something that potentially difficult.

  Now, the goal is to get him in therapy with you. I doubt he is going to need meds, but I would like to see him take an objective look at the religion. At the very least, a good goal would be to have him weigh what he is gaining from the religion, and comparing it to what the opportunity costs are. Being totally honest is vital, since it is easy to inflate the benefits or to include illusory benefits and thus making a poor decision. Then, if the costs of staying in the cancer exceed the benefits, he will need help in getting out.

  Either way, I am glad you are seeking to get out. I am glad you did not give that talk, and that you are planning on doing the Memorial at home instead of going to the REJECT Jesus party at the Kingdumb Hell. Hopefully you can get your husband to join--even if he is seeking "privileges", better to take a fully integrated honest approach and compare the real value of the "privilege" with the total opportunity cost. If the cost is greater than the benefit, then he should just take that "privilege" and shove it up their axxes.
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  lesterd

  First I dont think a theropist can be objective in something they dont know or have experienced, second I would as if the judgement of deserveing death is from Jehovah or the WT, because they have been wrong before, and if its from Jehovah, then your husband is the second Christ speaking for God, and he must remember his pronouncements will come back on him and if he isnt perfect he will suffer that fate. I hate those judgemental, self rightous @%