I think I have to go to the memorial

4mylove

The hubby tells me that a friend called him to remind him of the memorial this Saturday. Mind you, they never call, they never write. Oh well.

My hubby tells me that he may have to go in scrubs because he won't have time to go home and change, that he doesn't mind. I thought this was a complete no no?

Well I tell him he can go if he wants, and that i think there is a kingdom hall in our little town somewhere, blah blah blah.

He finally asked me if i was planning on going with him partly because i had taken the time to look up info for him, and I explained my dilema.

"If I knew that you would go with me to Sunday service, and it wouldn't be a problem, I would have no problem going with you, but you see, you aren't ALLOWED!! I just can't be a hypocrite. I love you so much, and I would follow you anywhere except to addiction, hurt, deceipt, and that is exactly what i think this is."

He explained that he would love to have me join him and that he has joined me to events at churches. I explained that that wasn't the same (Weddings don't count). Granted, the only thing I've asked him to join me for was an Alpha course, and that turned into an argument too (he only agreed because he thought Bear Grills was giving it due to his affiliation with the program...my husband is such a man). I've told him before exactly how i feel, and he has been inactive for about 5-6 years now.

So after finally calming down I sat and thought to myself, shouldn't I follow my husband where ever he goes? I hate that everytime this issue comes up i get so hateful. It's just that I've learned so much more about this cult than what the general public knows, I thank this board for that. I just fear that they will take him away from me one day, then again, that would be his decision.

My plan is to possibly go with him and ask questions about the process, not drinking, not eating, as the bible/He commands. I've asked him to please not shut me out of this part of his life. I hope that my ways will change and I can approach the subject with love not hate, understanding not contempt, support and not fear. I love my husband so much. I refuse to lose him to this cult. I will continue to show him love and respect, yet make sure that i try to open his eyes everyday.

This will again be the challange of my life but my marriage is worth it. If it were not for this issue, I would have a near perfect marriage if it weren't for this. I will never be a part of that world. I unfortunately took the right colored pill.

Thank you all for your love and support,

4

DJK

So after finally calming down I sat and thought to myself, shouldn't I follow my husband where ever he goes?

That's quite submissive don't you think?

I don't have that expectation of my wife.

flipper

4 MY LOVE - I have a question for you : If your husband has been inactive for 5-6 years , what is making him make a big deal out of the memorial ? Is he scared of Armaggeddon coming soon or something ? How inactive is he ? So, he hasn't gone to to ANY meetings in the last 6 years ?

It's not showing disrespect to your husband to politely decline to go to something you don't believe in. If he respects your differences , he will understand . You should not have to sacrifice your beliefs - to accommodate his . Especially with what you know. How upset does he get that you disagree with his beliefs? He won't intimidate you will he ?

So, it's something only you can decide - but there are lots of other ways you can show support for your husband . Do you really want him to start back to meetings ? Something to consider

4mylove

DJK,

I don't think it's being submissive, more so cunningly supportive. I wouldn't ask of him anything that I wouldn't expect in return. My problem with the whole situation is that he wouldn't be ALLOWED to follow me anywhere I go if he went back. We have many interdenominational marriages in our circles, none of these women are being submissive. Love will make you do crazy things. And yes, I mean love, not lust. I've always been of the thinkging that I would do the same for anyone in my family including my husband. I think sometimes people forget what it means to be a spouse. It is a partner, a best friend, a companion, not a business partner. I would do the same for my husband as I would for my father or brothers. My love is the same, other wise he would still just be my boyfriend.

It may sound trivial, but remember the movie The Breakup? Jennifer tells him that she wants him to want to do the dishes with her. I believe that my husband wants me to be there with him. He has NEVER pressured me into anything. He is the most kind hearted person anyone could ever meet. I think it is difficult to go by himself. He has been out so long. This would be the second time I go with him. The first time I didn't know any better, and he hasn't been back since, that was 6 years ago. He hasn't been to meetings, but I think for him it's like when us catholics attend Midnight Mass, or Ash Wednesday. And yes I know there is no half way about anything in this cult. And you can trust me when I say that I am scared shitless that he wants to attend. It of course opens up the can of worms I have been trying to avoid and hide in the back of the pantry.

I think my husbands eyes have been opened to so many things, including what the true meaning of what family is. He came from a tiny town in, the kind where everyone knows everybodys everything. My family has embraced him as he is one of their own, and has always been there. His is not very supportive. They have shunned us to a certain extent but it's gotten better over the years, though there are very very brainwashed. I think he sees the wrong in the organization, but as most of you know it will be extremely difficult for him to admit it for a very long time.

I like to pride myself as being independent of mind, body, and spirit, yet old fashioned when it comes to my marriage. I cherrish it more than anything in my life. I used to think that marriage was nothing more than a piece of paper, but I do hold my vows very closely to my heart. I wouldn't abandon anyone I love during a difficult time. I would follow any family member to hell if it meant helping get them out.

Flipper,

Thanks so much for your caring response. I have declined the offer many many times, and he ends up not going. I think it will take many long years to finally break him completely, especially since his entire immediate family is still very in. I promise he does not try to sway me in any way and does respect my beliefs. I know it sounds to good to be true but we are so awesome together ( sorry for the awesome, I'm a product of the 80's/90's gen!).

Thanks to all of you!! Wish me luck!! Love you all

4

garybuss

If a person has never seen a black mass, it'd be educational to go to the Witness memorial meeting.

Honesty

If a person has never seen a black mass, it'd be educational to go to the Witness memorial meeting. Gary

Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin would have loved the Jehovah's Witness memorial.

WTWizard

That is precisely what the Watchtower Society wants for women. They want them in absolute submission, as if they didn't have any rights to exist as independent beings. I would simply not go, no matter what--you do not believe in it, and there should be allowances for people to not believe in something (especially when they see the corruption going on in the Watchtower Society).

4mylove

So i don't go, and he doesn't go with me is I ask. How do I achieve progress?! It's sort of Ying-Yang. For me to show him something different, I have to be willing to share in his experiences. I already know the evil that lurks there.

Funny thing happened last night. We were visiting friends that came in from out of town. We were discussing goose bump moments and got really side tracked into spiritual moments and religion. The of course brought up cults as two of the gentlemen are currently in neuropsychiatric residency's in west TX. Our friend knows that my hubby is an inactive witness but the friend didn't. The conversation had reverted to cults and he brought up the witnesses. He said he would never understand how an individual gives up mental freedom. He knows that they are not allowed to read other literature. I cracked up when he said, "if they have the damn truth what are they afraid of?!" My husband was silent. That was one long ride home. He also brought up the fact that they are separatists in nature, brought up Davidito, Kool-aid drinkers, etc. I loved where the conversation was going.

I could tell our friends were getting uncomfortable because they know of my husbands religion. So I tried to make the conversation more neutral. This couple is Catholic and Hindu, and I of course always use them as an example to my husband as to how other faiths can share views and not be cast out. All in all it was just more help...

Thanks again guys and gals!

4

jgnat

Hey, I go. It has absolutely no effect on my decision on joining.

I fail to see how a Witness would consider this non-event to be a key recruiting tool. First of all, the public speaker cobbles together a string of scriptures to explain to the uninitiated why it is improper to partake. Then the emblems are solemnly passed without being touched. Just look and pass on, please.

That about sums up the way the society treats Jesus. Just look and pass on.

TweetieBird

If you end up going with your husband, why not use it as an occasion to ask "genuine" questions about the whole ritual that could possibly make him start thinking about it in a different light. Most witnesses that grew up in the cult never question or reason on anything about the memorial...it's a sacred holiday. Only an evil person that has been totally taken over by Satan would miss the memorial, that is what is drilled into your head from birth.

I think I have to go to the memorial

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