Maybe I should have gone to Memorial....possible regrets.

by oompa 32 Replies latest jw experiences

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  oompa

  I have a handful of friends that are still dubs. We have very little social contact, but I do get the occasional invite over or for golf, and they will still come over. I may have mussed that up by not going. My wife has been through so much, and did not ask me to go, or even go for her sake. But by me not going, I am afraid the judgemental people that they are, may not be able to stand to be around me anymore, and that impacts family.

  Is it so wrong to compromise myself for just one night? Now I feel selfish. Hell I almost went to the meeting tonight just to show everyone I could have been to memorial, but chose to go to "just" a meeting. I realize it is the judgemental ones that have the problem, but I have probably just further aleinated myself and also my dub family.............oompa

  ps...plus I do a lot of biz with dubs, and this could cost me some jack
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  Dagney

  Yup, this is THE big deal to them.

  Maybe do a makeup meeting and throw in the special talk just for the heck of it. As people pointed out here to me, we compromise for the ones we love.
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  Satanus

  Why not go to a meeting, now and then? Conceding on some of the small things like that could help you win big in the long run. Look at the big picture.
  
  S
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  megawatt

  Chin up brotha! Wish I could say more than the cliche, but hang in there man. I possibly lost a good friend over the weekend, not for lying, stealing, or being a bad person... simply for speaking my mind.

  I know it's hard to swallow, but what kind of friends are they if they'll pass judgement so quickly, despite years of service and being a good person. You didn't lose anything worth keeping if you can't be truthful to yourself.

  Stay strong...
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  oompa

  Thanks Dagney, that is kind of what I was thinking....why not a little compromise? I think JWD has made me a bit of a HARDASS!! (lol...not that I needed a lot of encouragement) I seem to be an all or nothing person in this area, and I think even my wife is making compromises on the slacker side.

  Satanus, you too make a good point. Maybe I could have gained more in the long run by going, and by at least keeping my face in front of the "friends" once in awhile.

  I think I'm gonna puke, and re-enter the devils lair, and evade, evade the elders. I faded almost one year ago, and those scared boys have not called, visited, and did not even check to see if I was coming the memorial....and I reminded the wife of this, and told her I am pretty dang sure they are hoping I am gone for good........not yet maybe.......oompa

  So is the special talk this sunday?
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  oompa

  megawatt: I know it's hard to swallow, but what kind of friends are they if they'll pass judgement so quickly, despite years of service and being a good person.

  Megawatt, sorry about your friend (he may need to grow some balls), I read all your post. Interesting story. But something I have a hard time remembering, and it happens when I read a post like above.....just dont forget how conditioned these friends are...they cant help it most of the time, esp if they were born in. So I remind myself to cut them some slack...oompa
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  IP_SEC

  I have a handful of friends that are still dubs.

  So you mussed it up by not going to pass a glass of wine and stale bread around the room? Geez oompa... with friends like that....(now you finish the sentence huh?)
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  Tired of the Hypocrisy

  what's done is done, oomps...Let the judge-MENTAL ones judge and eat big piles of poop by the FIstful!.
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  jamiebowers

  If you had gone to the memorial, wouldn't you have just been giving your family and your superficial friends false hope?
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  BluesBrother

  I attended, just for the good of the wife...it would be sad occassion to go in on your own, with everyone being together in families and the pressure of the crowded car park and attendandants telling you where to sit, and all......

  Now that the night is over, you can slip along and mend fences if you want to, think of an excuse for not being there and keep in touch.....