Playing the guilt game

legalchickie

I just found out that my half-sister visited our 89 year old mother in a nursing home yesterday and told her that she should be getting out in service and to the meetings!! I do so want to call her and tell her just what I feel about her and this cult of hers!! I was a jw for 25 years and stopped going to the kh about 4 years ago. My mother has never driven a day in her life and was always dependent on me to take her places, including the kh. Now, she is feeling guilty for not going to the meetings and out in service.

Wasn't that just such a lovely thing for my so called "sister" to do to her?? Especially at this time in her life??

Hold me back before I get a gun......

trevor

legalchickie

Think this through - shooting your mother is not the answer.

AlmostAtheist

That is really sick, agreed! How does your mother feel about it? Does she WANT to go to meetings? Does she personally feel guilty for not being there?

Dave

legalchickie

Whew!! Thanks for setting me straight on that one!!

I must say that I have carried around guilt for a very long time because I felt since I wasn't going to meetings or out in service that I was keeping my mom away too. If I didn't go, she didn't go, even if she could catch a ride. It's very hard to lose that guilt, even now. I haven't shared with her anything I have learned about the JWs. It would be too hard for her to understand in her advanced age.

This is just a vicious, horrible cult and I am so very glad to be out of it. And to find friends on this site that truly understand what it's like on the inside.

legalchickie

Yes Dave, she does. She does pretty well most of the time and then this sick sister of mine and her husband get ahold of her. It brings it all back. Thank goodness that she isn't close to my sister. They only come around to see her about every 4-5 months, then it's only for an hour or so. But she can do a lot of damage in that short amount of time.

One true Jesus Freak

LOL "shooting your mother is not the answer"

LOL very good. First laugh of the day.

Give her (your sister) some lucky charms and be done.

AlmostAtheist

Since Mom feels guilty for not going, I wonder if it wouldn't be a nice compromise to go ahead and run her to a meeting a month? I realize that's not nearly enough to satisfy the rabid sister, but it might be enough to alleviate Mom's guilt.

You'd have to weigh that against the potential for problems yourself -- will mom start wanting to go in field service, too? Will she want to go every week? Will she want to make all 5 meetings, instead of just Sunday? And the potential that you'll get "found out" as a not-a-witness, get DF'd, and have a whole other whack of new issues to deal with.

Just a thought.

Dave

legalchickie

Thanks Dave.

Actually, she has been on the outer fringes for a long time too. Especially, when they DFd my oldest son about 10 years ago. He wrote the Elders a heartfelt letter and asked for forgiveness (he and some others, none of who were disciplined!) had too much to drink at a party. The others got off scott free (being offspring of elders) and they kicked my son out. That was the beginning of the end for me, and my mom never would comply with not associating with her grandson!

Mostly, she is fine with not going to the hall and out in service, it's just when my lovely sister comes around and makes her feel bad.

Hope4Others

Just encourage her that she has done lots for God, and he appreciates what she has done in the past. She's done well

for 89 years old its extremely unfair to push older ones.

hope4others

Quandry

If your half sister is really interested in your mom, why doesn't she come by and get her, help her get ready, and take her?

Playing the guilt game

Share this