How is your circle of friends?

by AK - Jeff 11 Replies latest jw friends

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  AK - Jeff

  I have been blessed to come to know several posters here personally, and to be able to count them as friends. I have phone conversations with several here from time to time also. Most of these are 'long distance relationships' due to the nature of the XJW beast, geographically, at least for me.

  But I have come to truly cherish some very fine people, many of whom I have met through this medium, the internet, and this forum specifically. It has been wonderful to get to know these people that otherwise would have been unknown to me, say I had left the organization 10 or 15 years earlier. I am thankful for you in my life. And for the technology that has allowed me to get to know you.

  Four years ago, when I left Jehovah's Witnesses, I felt very alone. I was very alone. I don't feel alone at all nowadays. It's not a perfect world. Making close friends is a tough assignment for many of us who leave later in life. All of our memories of the past are like dreams in the sense that all the people in them will no longer associate with us. It has been good to find a circle of friends.

  Just wanted to state that. Life is so much better on many levels since leaving the Watchtower - and so much better when one has a few close friends to share it with.

  Cheers -

  Any others share my sentiments this morning? Or am I just a big softie today?

  Jeff
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  Nowman

  I left the org 15 years ago, I wouldn't say I felt alone only because I had worked for the same company from age 12-20, so alot of people that I grew up with were not JWs and offered to take me in when I decided to leave hime.

  But, lately I feel alone. I know this is just something I am going through now. 9 months ago, I left a company I was with for ten years, I should have left a long time ago. Yet, because I was there so long, I had some close friends where we did so much together all the time. Perhaps that was not good because we worked together. Well, when I left the company, they cut me off, stopped talking to me. Its a long story. My MIL still watches my former best friend's 2 little girls. My MIL cannot stand my former friend. How is that right? She comes over every night to tell me something negative. In fact, my ex and his wife have now started to hang out together on occasion, but my ex never cared for my former BF? The company that I worked for, this former BF told me 99% of the things going that were wrong with this company, which is a major factor as to why I left. But she cut me off the day I left along with others.

  It was like I left the JW religion. I just feel that the 10 years were so wasted with people that actually treated me like crap! I have just come to the realization that I may have to start all over with friendships, I want to surround myself with positive people and not those that are going to bring me down. Its just difficult now because I have never been through something like this, and it hurts. The principal of the matter is so wrong, and I feel so screwed over.

  In the end, I will stand tall. I am human and I am not made of stone, I have feelings. Just wanted to vent, certain things have gone on lately that make me feel so bad, and frankly while my MIL is still involved with my former friend, I will never hear the end of it. Which means, its a constant reminder.

  Nikki
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  WTWizard

  About where it was before I went into the cancer--at least none of them are going to go through my CD collection or my computer and tell me that most of the items there have to go, or tell me that I need to spend more time out in field circus.
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  wings

  I am hoping to make real friends here, just like any relationship it takes effort and I haven't had the time to work on it. I envy those of you who have friendships with one another.

  I will say that after being here for almost a year, I have come to know some of you well enough to know that this site has a wealth of wonderful and interesting personalities. It is the possibility of friendships that keeps me coming back.

  wings
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  Layla33

  I love my circle of friends, I have a good deal of male friends, but also a nice group of female friends, friends I have had for many years. I am glad I came out of the JW when I did, because I was not really caught up in starting over, I left at a turning point in my life, that is not unlike most turning points for people right out of high school.

  I love planning parties with friends, having cookouts, etc and my next one is just for my female friends, it's my "Sex & the City" party and it's going to be a blast. Since I have such a wide range of backgrounds of friends, I like that they can all bring a very ethnic dish to the party, plus all the regular american food. Lots of Cosmos plus all the Brazilian food, West African food, Pakistani food, and some Italian and Greek food, I can't wait...
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  I could have a great circle of friends- I could.

  AK-Jeff is among those I have met and will meet with again. I thoroughly enjoy
  my JWD and my ex-JW meetup friends. I enjoy phone conversations and
  dinner conversations face-to-face as much as possible. It's way better than
  the internet conversations.

  I say I could because I live the life of a fader. I have the JW wife to worry about.
  I am limited in what I can do, when I can meet people. I have never been to an
  Apostafest, but will keep looking into when I could make it.

  If you feel depressed, consider going to apostafests, joining meetup.com for an
  ex-JW group near you, calling out on JWD (or other sites) for those near enough
  to you, even vacationing to visit others on the forum (but plan other things nearby
  and include meeting ex-JW's). I went to NYC and NJ while my wife was at the Jersey
  City Assembly Hall last year. I met with Truthsetsonefree and Lrkr on that trip.
  AK-Jeff met me in Chicago. There are many others, but I will keep a low profile.

  I have met some ladies who could be my wife's best friends if she comes out and
  needs a support group. I say that my best friend is a JW because of longevity of our
  friendship, but truly, I have been getting my support in the last nearly 2 years from
  JWD and meetup friends.

  Fortunately, I am a bit of a loner. But if depression and lonliness overrode my feelings,
  I would choose openly meeting with other former JW's even if it got me DF'ed.
  We are a great support group for people who have [separately] survived a traumatic
  experience, and we bond because of that experience.
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  Sad emo

  Any others share my sentiments this morning? Or am I just a big softie today?

  No.

  Now go and make real life friends!

  Only joking - I'll take my 'cold and hard-hearted' hat off now lol. Some folks here have become dear to me too - some I've met, others I hope to. It's good to know you're all here especially when the real life friends aren't.
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  AK - Jeff

  In the end, I will stand tall. I am human and I am not made of stone, I have feelings. Just wanted to vent, certain things have gone on lately that make me feel so bad, and frankly while my MIL is still involved with my former friend, I will never hear the end of it. Which means, its a constant reminder.

  Nikki

  Vent all you need to. This is a good place for that. I read an article on cults once that discussed corporate cults, businesses that create that kind of environment. In the end, you will be better off outside that type of structure. I once felt the 'shunning' that comes shortly before one gets the industrial ax, so to speak. I was at odds with higher management than myself, and it was inevitable that I would lose the battle. Those closely associated in my department gave me the cold shoulder and warned others to avoid my company. A few days later I was fired. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

  Keep that stand tall posture.

  About where it was before I went into the cancer--

  I don't want to misinterpret here, Wiz. Did you have cancer? Or is this ref to the WTS?

  I will say that after being here for almost a year, I have come to know some of you well enough to know that this site has a wealth of wonderful and interesting personalities. It is the possibility of friendships that keeps me coming back.

  wings

  It does take work, and time. I don't live for it - but it enhances my life now. Sometimes I wish my friends were next door, instead of scattered about though. I am glad you keep coming back.

  my next one is just for my female friends, it's my "Sex & the City" party and it's going to be a blast. Since I have such a wide range of backgrounds of friends, I like that they can all bring a very ethnic dish to the party, plus all the regular american food. Lots of Cosmos plus all the Brazilian food, West African food, Pakistani food, and some Italian and Greek food, I can't wait...

  I wanna come. I don't mind being the only male in your 'Sex and the City' party.

  Jeff
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  AK - Jeff

  AK-Jeff is among those I have met and will meet with again.

  And I count our friendship as a great one. I look forward to the day when we can have that big, "OTWO has finally been able to quit the 'fade' " party. But until then, my hat is off to you for one of the best and well planned I know about.

  No.

  Now go and make real life friends!

  Only joking - I'll take my 'cold and hard-hearted' hat off now lol. Some folks here have become dear to me too - some I've met, others I hope to. It's good to know you're all here especially when the real life friends aren't.

  Love Ya' SE. I must beg to differ, that although friendships here are not all face-to-face and in the flesh, they can be, and are at times, still real friendships. Just of a different sort. I do know what you mean though - and I just got back from spending some face time with my local friends too. It is important to have local friends also. But one does not override the other in importance to me.

  Jeff
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  chickpea

  i was lucky to come out with a few non-dub close IRL friends who have been integrating me into their circles..... really dynamic, intelligent and involved people ( my best friend is on city council, the board of the local humane society and is taking ballroom dancing courses)

  plus i have an amazing collective of friends from another forum that mean the world to me..... i have traveled overseas twice to meet several, plus i have had a few travel to meet me! ....i am watching the boards for an apostafest that might be close enough to attend

  i have drifted away from all the dubs, save one.... and the sad fact is that it is to her i will reveal my doubts and reluctance to ever be more than a fader, at the risk of drawing attention that might result in a JC........