Is this really a J-Dub rule???

superman

Hey guys, I’m inactive (as far as meetings go) in my local town. However, I have friends outside of my local territory that I hang with. Anyway, about three weeks ago I went to hang out with this large group of witnesses and there was this girl that I meet who asked for my number. I didn’t really think it was that big of a deal, so I gave it to her. She’s been texting and calling me quite a bit since that time (didn’t really think all that much about it). It wasn’t that big a deal up until a few days ago when she asked me if I was interested in her. I told her that I honestly wasn’t (wrong thing to say), she went off! She went on about I how I should have known what her intentions were, and that according to the society that if you talk with someone of the opposite sex on a daily basis that you are technically dating them. Is that actually true about the societies definition of dating???? Long story short, I talked with one of my friends from that area (who knows this girl) and he said that she was going to most likely get the elders involved, because she felt that I lead her on. Seeing how I’m a “closeted” apostate, I could never bring myself to even think about dating or marrying a hard-core J-dub (let alone a pioneer); I just don’t want any trouble with the elders. But my question is this; is that actually a rule if you talk with someone you’re considered dating them? I need your help, just in case they start hassling me!

Junction-Guy

Just talking to someone of the opposite sex was not considered dating, however if you went out together to eat or see a movie, then yeah the elders might have more leverage.

You can get out of this whole situation by saying that you aren't interested in pursuing a relationship, that you are putting kingdom interests first, blah blah blah. Make her look like the idiot in this situation, it shouldn't be hard.

*Incubus

She sounds nuts!

Ive been out for ages so I couldnt be sure.Wouldnt surprise me tho.

oompa

They have said that you can indeed date by phone, just as people can have a romantic interest grow my snail mail, or now e-mail. However, there is no rule that talking in and of itself, especially if not of a romantic nature is dating...esp. with a purpose in mind. You can either tell the elders if need be she is a psycho stalker....or that you were just trying to be kind or friends.......the end........as long as you did not get her pregnant........................oompa

and funny, but the way you started it sounds like you still go in service, but miss all the meetings!

OnTheWayOut

I gotta go with Oompa here. Hard-core dubs have a hard-core rule about dating.
Spending ANY regular time together on the phone or in field circus or sharing a ride
is (by fringe rule followers) dating.

She is a nut, though. It never got to a point where you had to answer for what you did.

The only safe way out once you were in was to say, "Well, I thought about it and decided
not to date at this time. It was nice texting with you, but I think I am just not ready."

I think the elders would likely tell her to back off and would not want to deal with such
a petty mess. If they call, just be honest. "That girl? She asked for my number. I didn't
think she wanted to date me. As soon as I knew her intentions, I straightened it out.
(I guess I won't qualify for microphone handler or attendant anytime soon because of this.)"

willyloman

She's a troubled soul, dysfunctional in the way that many dub "youths" are because they are so conflicted by the sect's unorthodox teachings - which fly in the face of common sense as well as the culture that surrounds them. Good advice on above posts; just move on.

Frequent_Fader_Miles

Actually, the way I remember it is that yes ....even talking to someone every day via phone, texting, or internet can be considered dating. Crazy, but true.

White Dove

You're not supposed to talk regularly with anyone of the opposite sex, outside your family, if you aren't intending on dating and possibly marrying the person. And if you're dating, you had better have marriage on your mind and on the calendar. They take it waaaaay to seriously. Simple friendships are impossible in their eyes as per the YPA book.

Awakened at Gilead

Supe,

Yes it's true. I got into trouble for the same thing in 1994 just cause I sent a few letters with field service experiences to a sister. She fainted when I anounced I had a girlfriend and went running to the elders. They didn't have any scriptures, as I recall, just a load of old WT articles....

AaG

dinah

The phrase "interested in" in dub speak for you wanna marry me.

Jeez, no wonder so many dub marriages are train wrecks.

Is this really a J-Dub rule???

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