Suffering...

by tall penguin 17 Replies latest jw friends

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  tall penguin

  As j.w.’s we were taught that life wasn’t supposed to be about suffering. Life was supposed to be about joy and bliss and everlasting life. If it weren’t for Adam and Eve and Satan, all would be well.
  
  In reality, life IS suffering. Suffering is part of the human experience. To deny it is to deny reality. To fight against it is to argue with what is. How can life be anything but what it is?
  
  As jw’s we grew up with this idea that something was wrong with life, something was wrong with us, because we suffered, because we got sick, grew old, died. What if we had been raised to accept it as part of the fundamental nature of being human? What if we learned from an early age that there is nothing wrong with us? That what unfolds in life, is life. It is what it is.
  
  I remember the watchtower illustration of the bread pan with the dent in it and how we’re all dented loaves of bread because of the dent of sin we supposedly inherited from Adam. What kind of mindf**k is that? A dented loaf of bread? Why would I ever want to see myself as that? It’s like stamping a “damaged goods” label across one’s forehead. It is no wonder we have a hard time loving ourselves, seeing ourselves as the great and wonderful beings we all are.
  
  And I think of the patterns of denial these concepts leave us with. To always think that this isn’t the way life is supposed to be, to always be looking to some future time when things will be different, it is madness. It is insanity. It is a denial of our experience in the here and now.
  
  As a j.w. I had a hard time with acceptance of myself, acceptance of my suffering, acceptance of life as it was unfolding. It was always this battle to know who was causing the events of my life. Who was pulling the strings? Was Satan causing my pain or was Jehovah allowing me to be tested? And what was the difference anyhow? Two faces of the same coin it seemed.
  
  There is a freedom in the space I’m entering now. I am learning to accept that life entails a degree of suffering. That it is to be expected. That it’s not my fault or Adam’s fault or Eve’s fault or Satan’s fault or God’s fault or anyone else’s. It just is. To see it, to be with it, to allow it. And now, it just fades somehow. The suffering turns into these wonderful gems of compassion and vulnerability; of love and of joy. There is beauty in tears, in anger, in grief.
  
  A wise friend once said, “When you can look the devil in the eye, and see the Christ, you know you are Home.” I’m getting it.
  
  tall penguin
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  SPAZnik

  i look at suffering as nature's university.
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  SPAZnik

  nice post by the way ;)
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  Robdar

  There is a freedom in the space I’m entering now. I am learning to accept that life entails a degree of suffering. That it is to be expected. That it’s not my fault or Adam’s fault or Eve’s fault or Satan’s fault or God’s fault or anyone else’s. It just is. To see it, to be with it, to allow it. And now, it just fades somehow. The suffering turns into these wonderful gems of compassion and vulnerability; of love and of joy. There is beauty in tears, in anger, in grief.
  
  A wise friend once said, “When you can look the devil in the eye, and see the Christ, you know you are Home.” I’m getting it.

  Thank you for sharing "it" with me.
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  oompa

  Excellent post!

  Penguin: It’s like stamping a “damaged goods” label across one’s forehead.

  Actually, they DID stamp us that way, esp. if that is all you grew up knowing. I have not adjusted to different thoughts yet........oompa
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  tall penguin

  Thanks Spaz. Nature's University indeed. Perhaps the only University education many of us will ever get. :)
  
  Thanks Robdar.
  
  Thanks Oompa. The adjustment period can take time my friend. Be patient and gentle with yourself. Being raised jw is a challenging hand to be dealt by life, but one I am finding we can learn to play well.
  
  tall penguin
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  Tired of the Hypocrisy

  I like your way of thinking.

  Much of what life is has to do with pain. Pain is actually a blessing in disguise. without pain we would never know if we broke a bone or when to pull our hand away from a flame. We have emotions too. Being human means we will be sad and cry. I grew up with the idea that in the new order no one would cry. This is unrealistic. We have tear ducts because when we are hurt we cry.

  Imagine this.....The new order is here and there is a lovely young woman named Vanilla Essence. There are three young men that pine for her, love her and would do anything to be her husband. Alas, people are monogamous in the new order and she can select only one mate. So, she selects the most spiritual man she can and he is not one of the three. She has chosen uber elder Alpha Male to be her one true love.

  So, now we have three young men who love a woman they cannot have. Do they not cry at the loss of whom they viewed as their one true love? Because the new order is here and every tear has been wiped from their eyes they are not saddened by the loss? Of course not.

  Another example is I have some how met the rediculous requirements the washtowel outlines for entry tot he new order and I am strolling down the primrose path when my foot hits a sandy patch, I lose my footing and twist my ankle and sprain my knee. Because I am in the new order, my joints have no limits to the amount of torsioning they can handle? I will be able to detect every flaw in the ground I am tramping across? Of course not. I am gonna shriek like a little girl because a sprained knee HURTS!

  We get stronger by struggling. The bible has laid it out that if you don't work, you don't eat. If you don't plan ahead, you go hungry. I am a firm believer that God will bless a person. But He has to have some kind of effort to bless. Life is a struggle, and if we don't work hard for what we want the value is gone from it. And if we don't hurt and suffer when things go wrong, then we cannot appreciate what is good and avoid the bad stuff.

  It has taken me a long time to get over the feeling that we will not even fart in the new order. Why does Jesus go on about being forgiving and treating others as we wish to be treated? Because as individuals with our own gifts, desires and minds, we are bound to offend someone, or step on their toes on a dancefloor. We are not cyborgs with no feelings. We are Men, Women, and Children that live life as best we can. People do not need a washtowel society to amke it into heaven or a new world order. We only need to follow Christ.
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  jaguarbass

  Good post. It's not just the wactower that teaches these things, thats religion in America, The catholics, the baptist, anyone who teaches the bible.
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  LouBelle

  Totally agree with you tall penguin. The other thing is that the only hope that we ever had of getting undented was the new order, if we were lucky enough to make it into paradise. Again, not living in reality.
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  Hope4Others

  remember the watchtower illustration of the bread pan with the dent in it and how we’re all dented loaves of bread because of the dent of sin we supposedly inherited from Adam

  You so made me flash back to this illustration, how many times I used this with my bible studies, I had to pinch myself for a second.

  It is good to hear you are readily accepting this space of new freedom, wonderful post.

  hope4others