by nicolaou 106 Replies latest jw friends
I had no doubts at all about the 'Truth' untill a friend of mine in the cong' began falling away. In trying to help him I had to ask questions and do research and that of course cracked the doors of my mind open for the first time in over thirty years.
Years ago, when JWD allowed members to have signatures, I used the following quote from Voltaire as mine. I still love it.
“Doubt is uncomfortable, certainty is ridiculous.”
The first "doubt" I can remember with clarity came while sitting in a kingdom hall reading some scripture about getting out of Babylon the Great. The irony of the situation struck me. I couldn't help but think that (altho' me thinks they certainly "doth protest too much" about that) this religion was essentially like any other, and that hiding being a name-change from "church" to "kingdom hall" and a few doctrinal rationalizations somehow renders them immune from some potential doomsday scenario, wuzn't gonna cut it. I remember thinking "who the hell do we think we are?" LOL So in short, I guess you could say it was their arrogance that gave me pause initially.
Me being converted and all, when I first began studying with the JW's I beleived it all for about 2 maybe 3 years. Then when I seen decisions being made about the welfare of others that wasn't right in my eyes but I still went along until the Elder's formed a committee to interogate the teens in the hall to get them to tattle on each other.
The issue here was drinking alcohol among them and being under age it was "against the law". That's when I blew a gasket and turned it around on one of the elders on the committee. I mentioned that I had seen him and other elders personally drinking and driving, also against the law, and made note that the children follow the example being taught because they had seen this themselves.
I seen them carrying six people in a car with seating only for 5, not enough seat belts - against the law. They had also been drinking - against the law. Carrying open alchohol and drinking it while driving - both against the law. I even seen an elder fall on the floor in a restaurant from drinking. The same elder's wife was always intoxicated and everytime the teens visited her house she, "The elder's wife", was making them drinks and giving them beer & wine. The teens admitted to this.
Every since them I have questioned all their motives and actually had turned sour against them and the religion. Knowing these were "supposed" to be the ones taking the lead. In reality they were no better than the Saducees. I thought it hard to beleive they were trying to counsel them for the very same thing they were doing themselves. Hypochrisy!
I then started doing my own research about the JW's and read "COC" and my eyes opened up.
Quirky1
It's hard to pinpoint the first cause. But, I think it was when 1975 came and went. I suddenly thought, "what if I'm
wasting my entire life for just another doomsday religion that has it all wrong, and denying my children opportunities
that they would never have being a JW." I grew up in it and I didn't want my children to go through their childhood
scared of and anticipating Armageddon! 1975 convinced me that JWs are flying by the seat of their pants and don't
KNOW anything!
In my case, little things. KH talks that praised all those who did almost the impossible, and made me feel very small 'cause I didn't do the same. They say Jehovah appreciates everything you do, but in talks they give extraordinary examples. Many of you have heard the Media Player some brother put on the Internet, on the experience of a sister who was in the bridge that collapsed in Mississippi a few months ago and after giving her "uplifting" experience on how Jehovah helped her through it, at the end the brother asks, "What made you be there in the first place?" to what she replied, "I canceled a service meeting with the pioneers that morning". The brother asks her: "What did that teach you", and she answered: "Never cancelled a meeting with the pioneers." Is that screwed up or what?
And many other things I just don't get. Feeling controled all the time. I went out in service, gave my report and there they were visiting because they were concerned on how little I did that month. I don't get the service report part either. "Don't let your left hand know what your right hand does", Jesus said. And here they are, again parading a sister or a brother who are pioneers and exposing how much literature they placed in a month, and what a miraculous story they have of how the person in the last house they hesitated to go to, was praying for somebody to preach to them or else they will commit suicide.
Just got tired of those things as you can see.
Any religious group that makes me a promise on the area of improving my ability to attract the opposite sex had damn well better make good on that promise. If not, it's only a matter of time before I am going to turn apostate--and, with some of the secrets from that "secret society", I can make for a mighty devastating apostate at that.
After that I kept thinking about a lot of other things. Such as how the Society has denied their part on influencing the masses into thinking that 1975 was the right year for Jehovah to bring in the end. In many publications, they suggested, although never directly said it, that 1975 was a marked year. I remember reading one article in the Watchtower at the end of the 1960's, I believe, where it said that if you were of school age you will NEVER be able to finish College because the end was so close. People sold their houses, took their kids out of school and after 1975 came and went, they Society said that they never said that 1975 was the year and that there were a lot of friends that just misinterpreted the signs.
The issue that it is felt that the Society has a saying even in your most intimate decisions on sex and education, etc. Do I need to go on?
During the early 70's and the approaching 1975 a few years after the big nothing, I smelled and sensed the corruption of " The Truth "
The way that this fear mongering was affecting the people that I knew even within my family was disturbing to say the least.
I came to the diffident conclusion that things in the Watchtower weren't written by God's guidance but rather for the purpose of increasing
their literature circulation and for the purpose of increasing the power and control toward the people at the top of the Tower.
Where there is power and money to be obtained surely you'll find corrupt men behind the curtain pulling the strings.
Organized religion is just one of those vehicles that can deliver on those desires.
I'm sure Judge Rutherford sat at his pool with a drink in his hand at his luxury home called (Beth Sarin) and thought to himself a many of times
what a rich and powerful man he had become...............and he found it was good !
That Jehovah killed David and Bathsheba's child for their sin and that he was going to kill the children of parents who didn't become dubs even though they were completely innocent. After I had my own child it became ludicrous to me that my ethics and morals would be better than the god I was supposed to be worshipping as omniscient and omnipotent... Ultimately this went a long way towards my becoming atheist as well.
brunn
For me it was the petty rules and the going beyond "what is written". The real clincher was when they announced that Jesus was no longer our mediator...
Cas
