I ATTENDED A JW FUNERAL YESTERDAY---WOW!

by Terry 49 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  Gopher

  You're right about it being like a "twilight zone" for those of us who are DF'd or DA'd.

  I was at my grandmother's JW funeral in the fall of 2006, and my parents came up from Florida. Usually they go out of their way to avoid seeing me and my sister any time they come visit Minnesota, they just go see my liviing grandmother and their old JW friends.

  This time they actually talked and answered general questions I had and took us out to lunch after the informercial/funeral and burial. They treated me like a son, for one day. The next day when I tried to talk to them again, the wall went back up and we've been back to infrequent phone conversations at arm's length. (Cue Twilight-Zone theme music.)
• 

  NewYork44M

  Terry,

  I always enjoy your posts. I appreaciate sharing this exerience with us and felt like I was there with you.

  Great commentary.
• 

  Quentin

  They all look absolutely horrible! They look years older than they are. They have all let themselves go physically. They are in a state of physical disrepair that only comes to people who have given up on life. Honestly, they are fat, dumpy, haggard and bizarre looking. And I'm even trying to be nice!!....Terry

  Only one person looked like they had not been touched by any of that...Pam....Yes they were nice...yes there were hugs...some talk of old times...As too the frontal lobe meltdown, yeah I felt it too...

  I'll be less kind about the service...it was different in that the speaker spent more time with personel rememberence, unlike my dads service, after that was over it was a stumbling, bumbling mis-mash of dribble...it did not connect...yet, I too could have given it in my sleep...thirty years out, samo, samo...

  Shock to see the pasty faces, unkept hair on the women. The haggared look and vacant eyes. More the women than the men.

  You made the right choice Terry...I did too...I would like to think that those who knew us were more schocked to see how vibirant and upbeat we were as opposed to how we thought about them.

  Quite the experince.....
• 

  Homerovah the Almighty

  Thanks for sharing your thoughts Terry,

  This brings me back to my mothers funeral a couple of years ago, sitting in a Hall listening to a funeral talk, some very strange and weird feelings

  came over me not only of the emotion of dealing with my mothers passing but going to a Kingdom hall, a place I've hadn't been for over 25 years.

  For the most part the people were nice and passed on their condolences, there were a couple there that gave a very forced smile and I returned one the same.

  There was coffee after the talk where the non-jw mingled with the jw, some folks I haven't seen for a very long time were there. One was one of my friends that I grew up with

  at the old hall that we use to attend, apparently he and his wife use to attend the same hall that my parents went to. I hadn't seen him for over 20 years, he since has

  left the faith and moved on with his life. All in all it was quite the unusual day one that I certainly will never forget.

  The finishing song at the end of the talk was " Keep your eyes on the Prize " I just grinned through the whole thing, so did my younger brother who was standing

  next to me, 25 years ago I was singing that song with zeal and enthusiasm .
• 

  daniel-p

  Thanks Terry--always insightful.
• 

  SPAZnik

  Thx for sharing that, Terry. Nicely summed up.
• 

  Eyes Open

  Family funerals are what I'm dreading, and there's two scheduled in the not too distant future if you know what I mean. I'm not disfellowshipped, but I imagine I will struggle to deal with the attention and feelings of hatred for the system.
  
  Thanks for the experience.
• 

  Terry

  Terry, I'm not sure what you meant about the j.w. kids.

  Do you mean to say (in simpler terms) that all the kids are either disfelowshipped, disassociated or faded?

  I think that's what you said, but not sure. Thanks in advance for verifying this.

  Hubert

  Of all of Johnny's five kids, all of Jenny's kids and grandkids and of all the friends I met--none--not ONE has remained a JW without either fleeing, drifting, fading or getting disfellowshipped.

  Johnny's kids have endured multiple disfellowshipping and his first born daughter (a shockingly beautiful daughter) has been in AA for years now. Johnny is completely without a clue as to why his kids had these problems. I explained it to him once. They cannot blame him or their mother and they can only see themselves as failures (relative to Jehovah's standards) so they hate themselves and take out their inferiorty by destroying their own happiness. This is too deep for him to accept.

  I even heard Johnny say once that he hated his kids!!! Amazing statement. They didn't live up to his fantasy religion with its cartoon doctrines and he blames them and not his own beliefs!

  None of these people have "fruits" in the form of any kids or grandkids who don't hate the religion.

  Incidentally, all four of Johnny's sons were pallbearers (along with my eldest son, Jason). His kids were instructed to "clean up" i.e. shave their beards or mustaches--or else. They did it out of respect for their grandaddy, Steve (Jennie's surviving husband who is 91, I believe.)

  Imagine!
• 

  Aleman

  Terry,

  The way I see it, you did this to yourself. You have no one to blame about your decisions but yourself. I know you have your own opinions about your desitions you live by, but when you feel the feelings you feel around the people you used to live and play and converse with, only you have to blame for the decisions you made. You are the decisions you made for yourself.

  -Aleman
• 

  Quentin

  Aleman

  Gee...you must have been there yesteday to know so much about it...