JW funeral this WE

tika

Ok, (r u there, TotH, cuz I'm gonna rant again, ha-ha)

So my H's great aunt (MIL's aunt) died after a long illness, she was 85, seemed to be a nice lady but I only knew her from the KH. My H knows how I feel about going to the KH for any reason and is not forcing me to go. My BIL is however making his wife go even though he doesn't agree with the religion, he pretends to in order to appease his nagging mother. I really don't want to be around all of the "OHHH, we miss you soooo much, when are you coming back" BS but I will probably go so as not to leave poor SIL by herself with the witlesses. Also, I figure if I don't go, it will give all the nags a chance to talk about me "Poor, D, his wife didn't come with him...." So, me and H had a bit of a tiff about JW's last night because he asked me if I would leave him if he went back to the KH. I didn't feel it was a fair question, seeing how I pretty much let him do as he pleases, play poker all night with his pals, go on weekend fishing trips, golf whenever he wants, etc,etc without nagging. And he likes his lifestyle. Period. I don't see him ever going back because he would have to give up all his fun, that I put up with and no one else in his past relationships would. I suspect this has all come about recently because MIL is pestering him ever since the memorial... probably telling him the usual, time is short, yadda yadda yadda, laying the urgency BS on him and all the guilt. ANYHOW, any tips for the funeral would be appreciated, if anything it will be good practice for MIL's funeral as I'm sure she will be having "A BIG FAT JW FUNERAL", ha-ha.

Tired of the Hypocrisy

I hear ya!

PM me anytime.....

Gopher

JW funerals are plain dreadful. Still, you're doing the right thing -- biting the bullet and going for family's sake.

If any nosey JW's try to express concern about your lack of meeting attendance, etc., just remind them that this day is about "great aunt Matilda" (or whatever her name is) and is not about you.

tika

That's great advice Gopher, I am just worried I won't be that nice. I feel like if I go my instinct is going to be to shun them the way they have my disfellowshipped SIL and since she is not going and it is her aunt I don't feel obligated to attend except for my H, and he probably would rather me not go if I cannot be nice (FAKE) to these people. It has really got me worked up and I wish I were not letting it ruin my whole weekend. We are going to the comedy club tonight and I am going to try and have fun.

Tired of the Hypocrisy

How did it go?

tika

Thanks for asking, I will pm you.

JoyNichols

I can relate to your dilemma completely.

I have a JW aunt who passed away yesterday, and I feel exactly as you do.

Sorry for the sadness of it all, for you and for all of us when we face this kind of thing.

I really do miss having a family, but if the only time they're my family happens to be when something terrible happens (to them), it's not much of a family.

Family is foreveryday things, too, and if they can't be there for me for the everyday things, why should I show up for some drama over an aunt who hasn't uttered more than 10 words to me in 25 years, even when I did make myself available?

Be well, tika!

JoyNichols

P.S. Tika, I'm probably just going to send out a bunch of sympathy cards with notes that say something like, "Sorry for the loss of your loved one. I know that you will miss her." Maybe I'll send some flowers if I can afford it.

I doubt I'll attend the funeral, which will be like a great big family reunion-craptower infomercial with all the required sniffling, drinking, eating and endless preaching for yet another person I regard as abusive. I just can't take it. Good luck in whatever you decide to do!

JoyNichols

Your husband's great aunt? Well, I don't know how many people would feel obligated to attend the funeral of a non-relative . . . if you think it might entail you behaving badly, then don't bother to go . . it's just not worth it, in my opinion.

tika

Thanks for the post Joy, you are absolutely right, and I did not attend just for that very reason... I can't behave... ha-ha.

JW funeral this WE

Share this