It is quite hard to love someone more than anything else when He is continually stifling every natural feeling and drive you were made with. At first, I was scammed into thinking the rules were a protection. Until they built a wall against my meeting the opposite sex in the name of God, and God didn't do a fxxxing thing to remove it.
Besides, God was always against every little thing I tried to do, from doing a decent job at work to simple entertainment. All He wanted was for me to keep going screeching around in field circus all the time, while He was continually attacking me and harassing me in every way possible and without an iota of "joy". I'm supposed to love that? Notably, Satan has not harassed me as relentlessly as Jehovah has.
Now I HATE Jehovah more than anything. I would do anything within my power to make His cold heart as sad and heavy as I can. And that has (so far) included buying a Ouija board, buying the filthiest rap music I can (and buying a mini disc system that Brother Hounder cannot play the discs for), getting my place as decorated for Christmas as possible, posting on this forum, bashing and exposing God as a Tyrant and Liar while both Jesus and Satan were liberators, and joining a "secret society" that the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger has warned me against. (And, no, it is not the Freemasons or some other similar organization--it is one that frees the mind to think without being restrained by past false teachings).
Now, if only I could do fornication, I would be able to make a total slap in Jehovah's face. That would blow my Value Destroyer Training School, at least while I am actively doing it. If not, oh well--I guess I will have to settle for totally trashing the Bible and the concept of a loving God and a wicked Satan.