The day I realized I just couldn't listen to another endless repetititve "talk". I realized it was a lie and if I stayed I would not be free.
The saddest day was also my most freeing day.
by jambon1 42 Replies latest jw friends
The day I realized I just couldn't listen to another endless repetititve "talk". I realized it was a lie and if I stayed I would not be free.
The saddest day was also my most freeing day.
Hope4, he looked like a big bear, I had an Akita that looked like him, I miss him too.
My saddest JW day is when my mother left me, my 3 brothers and my sister alone with my dad. That was the same time I was baptized, I did it because I thought that's what I had to do. I did not talk to my mom for a least 5 years. She did not abandoned us as I believed back then, she wanted to leave the JW but did not know how she could, she was desperate. I am happy now that I understand a lot more things and I now have the relationship I should have with my mother.
What was your saddest day as a JW?
The day Armageddon didn't come. Oh, wait!...........that was every day....
The saddest was also the happiest.
I was grieving over the wrongs being done by the organization, grieving over my knowledge of the wrongs as they are spiritually vexing, praying feverishly since I had been taught to speak boldly against or to flee from such and the consequences it would bring to my big picture, wanting some kind of reconciliation of all things familiar; knowing it was not likely in my lifetime. Begging for myself to be released from demon possessed and erroneous observations of the WTS and for God to save me from Satan.
Hugh sobs, fearing mental breakdown......then the peaceful and calm realization of difference between religion and faith.
That is when all the real mental bindings of the organization were cut. Yes ultimately it was not where to go, but to whom.
I was sad over the loss of my former world....but grateful for the freedom.
The day I realized I would lose all the friends and family I had known growing up as a JW unless I continued to live a lie. I chose to be true to myself, and yes, it hurts to know these people were only conditional friends and family. Freedom has its price, but it's still ultimately worth it. Peace, Rachel
When I finally realized there was nobody listening to my sobbing prayers to God...
As three, then four, days passed, with no call, I started to get very nervous. I prayed more and more. On the seventh day, at lunch again at the park, I sat not eating, staring at my cell phone sitting on the park bench, through tears, waiting for it to ring. I just KNEW Jehovah was going to make it ring any moment now. Two hours later, I went back to work, and no call had come. I had prayed to Jehovah again, though, and apologized for testing him, and said I'd wait for his answer.
Another
week passed, with no call from my friend, the PO, despite repeated prayers and no meeting attendance.Excerpted from http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/150796/2750884/post.ashx#2750884
I was sad in 1999 when I went to the Convention for the first time realising it was not true. (I started to read apostate stuff that summer) Previously all the strange as well a familiar smiling faces at Conventions had seemed so welcoming and friendly. Now they just looked deluded and menacing. And I think it was that year we got the Daniel book too, and instead of being excited about the new literature I realised straight away what a load of rubbish it was. Conventions would never be the same again.
It was also pretty sad when people would talk about how they would have their pick of the nice houses we visited on the ministry when the new system came. But I never heard people openly gleeful about the death of non-Witnesses really.
It was in October 2005. My husband and 4 sons had all stopped attending and I was at the hall by myself that Sunday feeling like a big fat failure. Then the PO who was taking the Watchtower study highlighted this paragraph of a mother who had 3 sons, one a pioneer, one a bethelite, one at Ministerial Training School. He kept harping on about how there was no mention of the father so this mother must have done an exemplary job in raising her sons in the truth by herself.
Made me feel like the total pits. I left the hall before the end, shredded my copy of the watchtower and left it all over the car park. Bawled my eyes out at my complete failure to keep my sons going, then I took as many paracetamol as I could find to ease the pain, hopefully permanently.
Not a good day
I hope you never have to feel like that again boyzone. Are you convinced now the Witnesses are wrong? That will help if you are settled about that in your mind. You can dismiss feelings of guilt. If so you can be happy that you will never have to endure that emotional pressure again.
Hi Slim
Yes I am TOTALLY convinced of the Watchtower's falseness even though it was 18 months after this time that I actually left. Now I am just so happy to be free of the guilt laden life they put me under. I'm glad to say I'm now the mum and wife I always should have been but was never allowed to be. I kid you not. The day I walked away was one of the happiest days of my life