Have you ever just felt crushed by what someone has said to you? (page 4)

caliber

I believe that the word crushed does reveal something about our self-esteem, but not necessarily low

self-esteem but vulnerable spots. We all have very strong & some weaker points which to others may go

almost unnoticed for the most part,but when they surface seem like a mountain in our mind !

In my case whisperings of Dyslexia haunt me ! My mind flows with pictures, parallels, illustrations, idioms etc

Any comments about slowness, spelling, I.Q. etc strikes my heart deeply ! Thoughts are my blessing but words

can be a curse.

Caliber

Yeah, Wed afternoon when my temp agency boss called to tell me my position with AAA had ended and when I thanked her she said, out of AAA habit, "My pleasure." Then she realized what she had said and tripped all over herself trying to grab for her professional demeanor. What an a$$.

hillary_step

One of the root causes of self-esteem issues, and there can be many of course, is dwelling too seriously on successes as well as failures. This process disorts our world-view and makes us overly vunerable to perceived, or deliberate criticisms.

When we find ourselves taking our life a little too seriously it is always a good idea to remember that we will all be old soon enough, and then be dead. ;) Against this reality, the priorities of things worth worrying about become very quickly reviewed.

If you find yourself getting upset at what people might sling at you on this Board, you really have problems. Then you need to step away and rediscover your equilibrium, or grow a skin as thick as a certain President's head. ;)

HS

FlyingHighNow

What people say on the board doesn't bother me so much. Getting fired, well, that's a little harder to take.

Twitch

I wouldn't say crushed but it's not far off the mark. Then I remember it's just talk. F*** it.

hillary_step

Flying,

What people say on the board doesn't bother me so much. Getting fired, well, that's a little harder to take.

Too true. My comments were generally made and not directed in any particular direction. Not sure who has been fired, but my commiserations. I have been self-employed most of my life, though I have been close to firing myself several times. ;) HS

restrangled

Yes, the foul words from my JC committee when I was 16. Their words crushed and destroyed me. How much self esteem could a teenager have raised in the truth?...

At my age now I would have torn those bozo's to pieces verbally.

r.

FlyingHighNow

Too true. My comments were generally made and not directed in any particular direction. Not sure who has been fired, but my commiserations. I have been self-employed most of my life, though I have been close to firing myself several times. ;)

It was me: I was fired. Firing yourself, now that made me smile. Somehow I have been cheerful most of the day. It rained up a storm here this afternoon, with lightening and LOUD crashing thunder split seconds after each bolt. I rather enjoyed it. Being raised on the gulf coast, a person often grows very fond of rain. Where it might depress others, I tend to love it. Our apartment faces a large pond. It was beautiful watching the rain pelt the water.

cognizant dissident

Before the words of another can have the power to crush us , some part of us must identify with and believe that the words are true (at least partially).

Why does one person laugh off teasing, not giving it a second thought, and another become highly offended and perhaps hold a grudge for life? In both cases, the words are the same. Why do they have power in one situation, and not another? Because the hearer gives them power according to the meaings they attribute to them. Someone who has general low-self esteem is more vulnerable to the words and meanings of others. Or, an individual could be sensitive and vulnerable in just one area. They may shrug off the snipes of others nonchalantly, until one is aimed at the "sore spot", then it becomes a fatal blow.

It is helpful to remember that words are just words, they are not "truth" in themselves. They may be the speaker's current perception of truth. So, they truly do say more about the speaker, than they say about us (an oft repeated maxim). Our reaction or response to the words is more telling of our own issues. When we feel such a powerful reaction to others' words and opinions, it is good to ask ourselves, "What identity or persona of mine, (aspect of self) feels threatened, by these words. What attachment do I have to this ego identity? How did it arise? Can I let it go?

These types of questions can give us valuable insight into the inner workings of our minds and how we generate meanings and attachments.

IP_SEC

some part of us must identify with and believe that the words are true (at least partially).

Hi cog, I dont believe thats aways true.
<<<<<<<<< some of us were raised to think that the words of another person could devalue us even if the werent true.

Have you ever just felt crushed by what someone has said to you?

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