tell u a little about myself. baptized at 15 because forced into it. i left the jw 2 years ago. i should have left a long time ago. my dad was such a tyrant but yet he was a "fine elder". he abused my mom so much both physically and mentally until she was reduced to a shell. i remember one time he was doing mechanic work and she got him the wrong tool and he threw it at her head. if she wouldnt have ducked he would have killed her. we told the elders u think that did anything? they just covered it up and acted like nothing happened. she was always made out to look like the bad guy. well he died and she ended up marrying her old child hood sweetheart whom treated her like a princess. the witnesses all shunned her and barely associated with her. the elder made an announcement about marrying "worldly" associates and everyone knew it was her. they all but named her. he was more of a father to me than my own flesh and blood father. i loved him more than my own father. the jw wore her down and only had anything to do with her when they wanted free vegetablew/fruits being that he was a farmer.
she died 2 years ago and my stepfather happened to bury her the same day the circuit assembly was going on. guess which services the jw decided to attend? u guessed it the CA. u could count on your hands the number of jw that attended. we couldnt even find an elder to perform her services until my stepfather threatened to get someone from his church. some of the elders and jw went to my stepfather and boldly told him they would not be attending the funeral because of th CA. well that sealed the deal for me. these were people that was suppose to be her friends. my ex-husband left me and of course they told me i wasnt free to remarry. he left me i didnt leave him. i came home one day and he took everything and i never heard from him again. they told me i could legally separate but couldnt remarry. i had people on the outside tell me him was committing adultery but because they were worldly they were not credible witnesses. we went thru hell me and my mom. we were pionerrind and doing all the right things yet we never was acknowledged for it. sometimes it was as if we didnt exist. before she died my mom stopped attending meetings al together. i developed a relationship with my childhood friend and of course was disfellowshipped for it and out of it i have a beautiful baby boy which i dont regret having. they hunted me down like an animal going to my neighbors house asking them if it was true i had a boyfriend and was pregnant. my neighbor whom i graduated with told them it was none of their business what i did and that he didnt know. well of course he did. then went they couldnt find me at home they called my job. i told them that i hadnt been at a meeting in almost year and i wasnt professing to be a jw, why were they hounding me? well i told them to do what they wanted i wasnt going to contest it anyone. so thats my life story. i just wasnt happy anyone more, i was depressed all the time and i felt my life was not going anywhere. i am so glad this website exists. it helps alot.