I'm wondering if anyone has any thoughts on this (sorry it's kind of long): both my husband and I are df'd. Both our families are active witnesses. His family has decided to shun us 150% (you know what I mean, no phone calls even when you're dying). So, fine after several hurtful years we moved on and let them shun us. That wasn't good enough. My mother-in-law continues to try to get our attention by sending hurtful messages to us through non-JW relatives, like when my husband was about to deploy to Iraq she said he would be the first to die, or telling my 9 year old son (who is associated with the JW's through his dad) that his younger half brother is being kept away from her-by us. She actually cried in front of my son and made herself out to be the victim. She forbid my husband's sister from inviting him to her wedding and they instead, invited his ex-wife. Then his witness Aunt called him up and told him how beautiful his ex wife looked.
About two months ago, my mother-in-law sent a red cross message to my husband who was on an assignment in NY that his grandfather was dying. She has our phone numbers, she didn't need to make it all drama-red cross messages involve his chain of command. My husband asked me if he should go to his dying JW grandfather at his mother's request, it would cost us about $1000. I told him I couldn't decide that for him but life's a bitch isn't it? I mean these people have shunned us-all of them even when I was laying in the hospital having organ failure with my second son-not a peep out of them. Then they need something and we come running? Well he didn't wind up going.
My dilema is this; I wrote my mother-in-law a letter after she cornered my 9 year old son and I told her from here on out, the rules are that if you want anything to do with your grandchildren-you go through my husband. She crossed the line with me. Now, of course, she was HUGELY offended by this, how dare I-right? She should absolutely be allowed to shun, and insult us and play mind games with our children without any consequence. But my husband still defends her. He still hopes that someday he'll be able to take our children to see her. He tells me, I just don't know her (which is because she shuns me, but anyway...) We argue over this and I think it's insane.
Does anyone else deal with this? Do you just 'accept' how badly your JW relatives treat you? Do you try to set your own rules with them? How is it working?