What do you think when people tell you to just "move on"? (page 3)

escaped

Its like moving through the thickest of muck. Sloggish, but I guess theres a shoreline.

There can be things you will never get over...what you can do, as expressed by others on the thread, so learn to live with the experince...you develope the abilty to deal with "it"...whatever it may be...

Like several others I've been gone from the wt for 30 + years, yet it comes to the surface from time to time. One reason I come to JWD is to share a common experince with others, some of whom were slam-dunked harder than I ever was. I desire to help others who are in pain. If I can do or say something that will ease their hurt then it is a good thing...

No...you can never "just get over it"...just "move on"...what you can do is move away form it....putting distance between you and it...the more distance, the better you feel....

BabaYaga

There is a difference between "moving on" and "living in denial". You can't just push feelings and experiences and hurt deep inside of you and never face them. Moving on is all well and good... in its own good time. We are all healing. This place is just part of the process.

Hello and welcome, Escaped. You may be surprised at what you can accomplish with that head on your shoulders, home-schooled or not.

LouBelle

Everything takes time, and so does recovering from being a JW - Initially you automatically think like one, act like one, feel like one even if you are out. You can't change 20 years of something overnight. But steps can be taken to get above your past, to move on, time plays a big part in moving on.

Why should you let the past have a hold on your present - it steals from that moment. You can move on, you just need to deal with everything openly and honestly. It's taken me 3 years of deprogramming to get to where I am and I believe I have truly moved on.

Hope that you can find your peace with it.

sass_my_frass

I would hope that the least that anybody expects of themselves is that they have noticed that things are 'getting better'. I suspect that there will always be something that remains with everybody, but for any one person it's going to depend on how much they had invested in the first place.

eg:
- teenager, never been a victim of any kind of abuse, gets out in time to take up that college scholarship: probably pretty quickly
- some kind of previous 'status rank' with generations of JW-only family: possibly never

Most of us have people who we have lost, and have to accept that they are likely gone for life. It's a different kind of grief to death or divorce and different complexities. I don't think it's a big deal that it takes a long time to recover from. I remind myself that everybody goes through something and that this is comparatively minor, so, *lucky me* in a way.

Junction-Guy

I meant to say John Walsh, not Adam Walsh. asilentone caught my typo.

Eyes Open

Sometimes things need to be dealt with. The moving on comes after, I guess.

Anyway, that looks like a really nice blog and I like your style of writing. Subscribed - thanks very much.

truthsetsonefree

As was mentioned "shallow" sounds about right. I often hear this from JWs and it seems to reflect control. Its what they are supposed to say. It also seems to reflect a lack of empathy on their part, and at the same time a desire not to check up on the organization themselves for fear that they may have questions. No healthy individual just moves on overnight from a movement that affects as much in ones life as the WT does.

Isaac

http://www.isaaccarmignani.blogspot.com

Mulan

Can you ever really move on? I mean day to day, yes... but are you ever able to truly heal?

ABSOLUTELY.............I don't know how long you've been out, but for us it's been 10 years, after being in for 40 years. It took years to heal and deprogram, but we are over it, and have moved on.

I usually tell people to give it time, and everything slips into place.

What do you think when people tell you to just "move on"?

Thechickennest