by Moxie 9 Replies latest jw friends
...I've heard that a lot over the years, and quite a lot latley... "Just get over it, let the past stay in the past". I always say, "ya, but...".
I've been writing a lot lately on my blog and just got through a big long thing on why I can't move on. You can read it here if you want: http://exjw.wordpress.com
But I have to stop and wonder, Can you ever really move on? I mean day to day, yes... but are you ever able to truly heal?
What are your thoughts...?
"Moxie"
I think people just want you to heal faster than you are able. I've been disassociated for four months and I'm still shell-shocked over how I was completely blinded for nine years by a cult. I'm angry inside, but I want to help others. Mental healing will take time. Spiritual healing can be instant. It all depends on how you deal with it.
We are the sum total of every event that impacted our lives. Walking away is difficult for that very reason. I personally don't think that we should ignore our personal past. However, we have to view our past objectively and not look at negative events an excuse for not reaching our future goals.
Yes, I feel it's possible to move on, but like with anything else, it takes "Time". Everyone moves at their own pace.
Therapy helped me the most. I still have moments now and then, but they are getting farther and farther apart. I have been out almost 11 years now.
Give it time and go at your own pace don't let others rush you...
Sincerely
Cas
Ask them to elaborate.
Heartless simpletons!
How about my all time hated phrase: "No one can make you feel bad without your permission."I believe that Elenor Roosevelt said that.
Some people seem to feel that others should get over it in the same amount of time that they do. My grandmother is the queen of lack of empathy and understanding. She has some but not near enough to wear the empathy badge. After my divorce, she said, "Are you still pining?!"
I say that my life experiences are mine and mine alone. Don't rush me for something that has nothing to do with you.
Change the subject, change the channel, get a life, they are not interested.
Quit beating yourself up.
I tell them I am moving on, just at my pace not yours.
You can heal, but you need to reopen old wounds and let them heal in a more healthy way. My therapist is helping me with that.
momz
