Is it too late to start over and pursue your dreams? Where would you likely be in life if it wasn't for the time spent being one of Jehovah's Witnesses? Was there anything salvagable from the your former life in the JW cult?
If you could get back the time spent in WT what would you do differently?
by Thechickennest 23 Replies latest jw friends
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alone
To the first question, in a word: yes. It is too late to start over & pursue a dream. I'm over 50, no college degree, uninteresting jobs, etc. You can see where this is going. Spent 20 yrs. pursuing a phantom dream. Like many who "put the truth first" put off goals of higher education to spend more time in the field...anyway "the end was coming soon" so why bother saving for retirement. My dream of having a happy family life is down the tubes as as you probably know by now my son & I are estranged. From where I am now very little is salvageable from my life as a jw. Sorry to be so negative but this is reality for me now. I notice that many people are upbeat & happy on this board, generally I can't be that way, or at least not this week. As I have stated in the past, I'm experiencing alot of anger at the life I have wasted as a result of the choices I have made, and understanding that I was duped. A.
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yknot
What I do today and tomorrow are mine to decide....(I am back in school part-time upgrading my degree)
But as for yesteryear........I would like to have had is childhood filled with the norms of my dad's side of the family (lots of worldly activities, sports and lots of friends). I would have also appreciated not having to be held to the higher standard on every single issue.
ALONE !!!! NOOOO NOOO NOOO.......lots of babyboomers are facing crisis not just JWs !!!!
You are my parents generation. Majority of the babyboomers are experiencing 'fallout' from their jobs. They are the new face of college.
Both of my parents (50's) have been back to college last year. My mom changed directions and became a nurse (doubled her pay), my dad had to update his skills. Most of their siblings and cousins are back in school too! With online degrees, night & weekend college you have lots of options. Be angry but then be productive!
Just google "baby boomers back in college" here are some of the recent aritcles that will pop-up!
http://www.universitybusiness.com/viewarticle.aspx?articleid=1004
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Summer wine
Oh, I wish I could have my time back. I spent 20 years becomming a horrible cold, judgemental person and am now living with the fall out of that. Basically, I detatched myself emotionally from people I loved (thought I wasnt good enough and was going to die at the big A). Now im trying to get back to my real self, but its really hard. People generally like me but im not social and dont need friends, this is a huge thing for my husband , who has missed out on a social life and now blames me
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dwtnphotog
I would be promiscuous! LOL
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CaptainSchmideo
I'm not as completely discouraged as alone is, since I can vicariously fix my mistakes of the past by making sure my kids don't have to repeat them.
But I wish I could go back in time and kick my younger self, and my parents, in the a$$ for flat out turning down the help my High School counselor offered in trying to get me to college. She was so pissed off at me a year later, when I saw her at my brother's high school graduation. She pretty much told me that I blew it. And she was right!
So, Mrs. Green, if you are reading this, you were right! I was an idiot, part of a larger group of idiots. But they won't get their hooks in my kids! They will be going to college, and they will be pursuing things that will enrich their lives much more than selling magazines!
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LongHairGal
I would definitely get a better education and better career. I would also save more money. Since I passed up some nice guys because they weren't in the religion, possibly I would have had children.
Since you cannot get back time wasted this is just a mental exercise. As far as real constructive things: I have reconnected with some relatives and old friends. Sad that the religion tried to turn us against our families, conning us into believing we had a 'family' and a 'brotherhood' in the religion. Once I was out I could see how unnatural this is. There is nothing like your real family. I could never stand the pretense of this fake brotherhood once I saw what was really going on. I realize now it is just a control mechanism.
LHG
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crapola
I would probably not have stayed in an unhappy marriage. That was the only reason I put up with all of it. Wanted to do the right thing. Now I'm older and feel like what difference does it all make now? I would make sure my children were able to go to college if that's what they wanted.Just do normal things in life that people enjoy. I'd spend more time with my Dad's family who are not Witnesses. There's alot of things I would have done differently!
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BizzyBee
It is all well and good to act as if age and circumstances can be simply disregarded - and in many instances one CAN start over.
However, the reality is that life is finite. Baggage is created. Age slows one down.
One of the first things I did upon leaving the witnesses, was to take college courses that interested me. But I also got married, started a family, worked. Soon, survival took precedence over exploring my educational interests.
I still think about going back to school, and may yet do. But I am partnered with a man who likes to travel - and year round travel is not compatible with school. Am I complaining? A little.....................
What would I do differently? Three words: Education, education, education. Not because of career, necessarily, because I have had a good one (as a writer), but because I have discovered that I love to learn. JWs very nearly killed that inclination in me.
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Tired of the Hypocrisy
I am 46 and I graduate college in a couple of weeks! It was not too late for me to get educated and try to earn a decent living.