Hi I'm new here - a bit about me (page 4)

God, another one! Wow, yeah what is with this increase? Must be the change in the weather or something I don't know, but wlecome out bro! It'll get easier with time and be easy on yourself and don't think you have to go by some chart on when you have to be over it. Some people, as you have read, move on, find this place and the stuff just pour out of their little fingers as if it happened in the last hour. Welcome to JWD!

By the way, Big daddy, BFD, how are you?! I'm sorry I haven't Pmd your crazy ass, but I'm still thinking of you!

Your Rubber Slave,

sw29

jamiebowers

Welcome. Please be assured that there is nothing wrong with you, being gay, voting, etc. The longer you're out, the more you will see it. What I find very ironic is that many people have been df'd even if they haven't committed what the WTB&TS considers sin. Remember that. You could've been straight as an arrow, so to speak, and still be df'd for simply thinking differently than the cult.

dwtnphotog

Hey Fishy!!

Just so you guys know, Fishbulb and I are quite good friends! We live about 15 min apart and have the same group of friends.

We knew each other was gay but it took a while to find out that we were both ex dubs! Needless to say, we have had lots and LOTS of talks about what we have all been through.

Fishy and I are BOTH very excited to have a group of people we can talk to and who know exactly what it is like to have been borg!

Thanks, guys, for your support!!

Fishbulb

THANKS for such a warm welcome again. It's so funny how the organization vilifies anyone on the outside, especially former witnesses, and makes it all seem so scary. You are all the antithesis of what any in the BORG would be led to believe. My username will remain a mystery for the time being. I will say though that it IS an oblique reference to my favorite T.V. show. Anyone who knows the show will know the reference

As far as my beliefs and how I view "the Truth" now, well that is still forming. I believe in God, a loving God. I believe in creation. I believe in the good nature of mankind and it's propensity for love and understanding. I don't know if I still believe that mankind was meant to live forever on a paradise Earth but how does one refute that idea with contradictory proof.

I guess I would still be a witness if I was either not gay, or if there was an explanation as to why I am with a practical way to cope with it. The crux of the matter is that the teachings of Jehovah's Witnesses had an answer for pretty much everything except for Homosexuality. Their answer for what they call "a mortal sin likened to murder" was to keep praying, to ask the brothers for help, to read any and all articles on it and to remain regular in field service, meeting attendance, and associations. Yeah though I gave it my very best shot, that didn't work for 13 years.

The Witnesses could tell me that they believed homosexuality was wrong, they could show me in the bible why they felt that way, but they could not EXPLAIN to me how I became gay (aside from simply calling me an imperfect human rife with sinful tendencies) nor could they explain why a loving God would hold me accountable for something I never chose. I could not come to terms with the idea of a loving God punishing me, constantly under repression, holding me responsible for something I never decided on. It was as if I was being punished for being born with blue eyes. "Oh just keep wearing those brown contact lenses Brother Fishbulb and maybe in the new system God will fix that for you."

I finally got fed up with hating myself and lying to myself that things would get easier. Things did not get any easier. If anything they continued to get worse as the straight people my age were getting married left and right and I had to sit through each wedding ceremony and be happy for them despite the fact that i would never find true love within the congregation. Everywhere I turned I was reminded of how I wasn't worth it and I got fed up. It was either suicide or leaving the JW's. I figures that if I was going to kill myself I might as well have fun doing it. I left, came out, and fell in love.

Ironically my move for self destruction turned out to be a move of self preservation. Having the distance from the JW's gave me a moment to think and put things together. I came to terms with myself and my sexuality. I came to believe that God DID in fact love me and that I did have a place to fulfill in this world. I'm not a bad person, i'm not a thief, I don't molest children, I don't murder people, I'm not a liar I'm gay and that's how God made me. If he intended to then I need to acept it. If it was his mistake I am sure he'll fix it when he wants to. For now I need peace.

freespirit67

Hi lightbulb and welcome.Thanks for sharing your experiences.I can practically feel the strruggle you had with yourself through the years of being a JW.I can still feel the struggle you are having even though you are away from the society.I personally think it must take years to recover bit by bit from the effects of what we have all experienced being in the JW'S,I know i will.Keep being true to yourself lightbulb continue loving your partner and being loved and hopefully at some youpoint will find true inner peace,which I think we are all lookinf for.

lots of love freespirit a newbie too

freespirit67

Im so sorry fishbulb for calling you lightbulb lolits actually 1:20am here in Scotland and I just got up through not being able to sleep with a bad cough.Still half sleeping

freespirit xxx

Ima Apostate

I hope you will find some comfort here. I'm sure you will make new 'worldly' friends soon. And believe me, worldly people are so much better friends than anyone in the Kingdom Hall.

LearningMore

Welcome!

Your comment about voting struck home. I have been faded for 10 years, and I can't bring myself to vote. It is pretty much the last lingering witness thing where I think, "Please don't ask me about voting!" when I talk to people. (I used to have that same feeling around the holidays. Inner voice pleading: "Please don't ask me what I am doing over the holidays. I have to think of some way to change the topic.") I think it is the idea of registering...putting your name on paper directly disobeying the organization.

skeeter1

Welcome!

It took me about 15 years from my last meeting to register. Now, I'm prouder than ever to vote.

Skeeter

Hi I'm new here - a bit about me

Twitch

saywhat29

jamiebowers

dwtnphotog

Fishbulb

freespirit67

freespirit67

Ima Apostate

LearningMore

skeeter1

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