Well guess who just knocked on my door....

by Ima Apostate 27 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Ima Apostate
    Ima Apostate

    Of course you know the answer... How ironic. I swear, Jehovah's Witnesses only come when I'm hanging out in sweatpants and a tank top with no bra on. If I am wearing a bra, they don't come. However, no bra seems to make them come. Interesting.

    So anyway, this morning I've got the flu or some stinking sinus infection, so I didn't go to church. I really wanted to go, because it's 'Trinity Sunday' and being my first year going through the church calendar, I was interested in hearing the sermon. The Trinity is the most incomprehensible part of mainstream Christianity, after all. But my husband convinced me to stay home and rest, so I've been reading the Bible on my own and in general thinking of all things religion, despite being sick.

    So there is a knock, and I think, "Who the hell?" It's Kingdom Hall time - I know because it's 10 - 12 in the morning here (my parents are there in fact). So I ask who it is, and they say, "We're volunteers." Well, okay. So I open the door and it's a middle aged black woman and a middle aged white man. I say hello. I like helping volunteers.

    They say, "Good morning. We're volunteers in your area looking for people who know ASL." I say, "Well, I'm an ESE teacher, and I will be learning ASL this summer to help one of my students. Why?"

    They reply, "We'll, we have some materials and DVDs about ASL. We're Jehovah's Witnesses and..."

    Well, at this point I quit listening because I felt like I'd been tricked. If you're a Jehovah's Witness, just say so before I open the door. I said, "Oh, well my parents are JWs and I was raised as one, but I very much disagree with your gospel and am not interested." And they said, "Oh, okay. Do your parents go to our congregation?" I said yes, then they wanted to know who they were. So I said, "Well, I'd rather not share that, you know how that goes." And they left.

    I know that if I had given them my parents names they would go and tell them what their daughter had said, or they would just tell everyone else in the congregation about how one of them had a heathen daughter who didn't want to talk to them. I just hope they don't go prying around as to who has a daughter that teaches ESE in the county with blonde hair...

  • Bring_the_Light
    Bring_the_Light

    LOL, I remember getting really "upset" at the door once because a wayy too hot/wayy to scantily clothed young girl who smelled like fresh sex came to the door and flirted with whoever I was there with (I was pretty passive in the service).

    The "brother" that did the talking didn't seem phased and then as we walked away made some comment about how she wasn't dressed appropriately I liked how she was dressed, wasn't completely sure why at age 11-12 or so, but I LIKED IT. Enough to grab the magazines out of his hands and offer to do the next door as the explanation for why I wanted to carry them. *cough* stiffy camo *cough*

  • Ima Apostate
    Ima Apostate

    I remember at least two scantily clad, or I should say partially nude, sex-smelling people answering the door when I used to knock on them in my pre-pubescent years. I remember thinking, "Maybe worldly people have sex in the morning..." I had thought it was a night thing.

  • Princess Daisy Boo
    Princess Daisy Boo

    That is an approach I have not heard before - very annoying that they are now using false pretenses to get themselves an open door!

  • Bring_the_Light
    Bring_the_Light
    very annoying that they are now using false pretenses to get themselves an open door!

    I've always thought the "we're on a mission from God" pretense is a bit of a whopper in itself.

  • Princess Daisy Boo
    Princess Daisy Boo

    LOL - I remember going on FS with my dad and knocking on a door where you could clearly hear the couple inside having a bit of Sunday morning fun - my Dad shouted in that we would come back later, and you know what... he insisted we went back!

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut
    Jehovah's Witnesses only come when I'm hanging out in sweatpants and a tank top with no bra on.

    Did you say anything important after that mental image popped into my head?
    I don't concentrate well once I get these images. Posting a picture of how you
    were dressed might help us to resolve how the JW's know to only come at
    those times.

    Seriously, they are most likely not in your parents' congregation unless ASL is
    just a group that's part of the same congregation. If they were, they would be at
    their meeting. Likely, they are in an ASL congregation or group that meets at
    a different time.

  • Ima Apostate
    Ima Apostate

    Well, sorry about that... Maybe it's God's way of helping me, really! See, I'm not comfortable enough to invite someone in for a lively Bible debate when my nipples are exposed. It would be a waste of time anyway, so the fact that they only come when I am innappropriately dressed is just a sign that God is really on my side.

    I hope they don't go to my parent's congregation. As much as I disagree with my folks, I love them and I don't want any condenscending, hypocritical assholes critizing them and the way they've raised my sister and I.

  • knock knock
    knock knock

    -------Did you say anything important after that mental image popped into my head?-------

    Yeah, she did. She the H word.

  • watson
    watson

    I would give anything to have you on my RV list, Ima.

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