Yesterday, my 23 year old son Mark was the only one in our house and was just drying off after a shower when the front doorbell rang. He was expecting a friend to arrive, so he pulled on a pair of underpants and went to open the door and let his friend in, only to find two sweet-looking, demurely dressed middle aged JW ladies on the doorstep holding magazines.
Mark was not particularly embarrassed, but the ladies were visibly taken aback by his appearance and were speechless for a couple of seconds. Mark assumed they were shocked by his wet, wild looking hair and 2 day's worth of stubble (he was just about to shave) but I wonder if they were just guiltily enjoying the sight of a good-looking fit young man wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts!
I was sorry I missed the ladies, as I have always enjoyed talking with JWs at the door but in the past, I have simply based my arguements on philosophical issues as I did not know anything about the WTS. However now I have learnt a few things from this site, I feel I could have a much more interesting discussion, and I would relish it.
I know that trying to get brainwashed people to understand reality is like eating custard with a fork, but unlike many of you here, I have no painful memories of being in the cult and have no distressing family pressures that hold me back from speaking, so why not, I have nothing to lose but time.
One occasion years ago I answered the door to JWs with my newborn 5 day old daughter in my arms, and after cooing over the baby for a few minutes and enquiring about my other two small children who were peering inquisitively at the callers, the couple asked if I was worried about bringing up children to be righteous in a sinful world. I looked at my beautiful innocent daughter and asked them if they believed babies were born sinful and they had to gulp before admitting in a mumble that they did. I just told them politely there was no point in us continuing this discussion and they hurriedly left.
Returning to Thursday, Mark knows a little about JWs as I have told him some of what I have been learning from this forum, but although like me, he enjoys a good debate, he didn't feel he was appropriately dressed to engage in a discussion at that moment, and anyway his friend was about to arrive, so he just said he was too busy and maybe another time.
I have never been a JW and would be grateful for advice on the following points:
1. Is it likely that the JW ladies would take Mark's off the cuff statement of "maybe another time" as literal and actually come back in the near future, or would they take it as a polite brush off? (Many English are often too polite; we use euphemisms instead of saying what we mean, so I thought these ladies might regularly be used to hearing "another time" at lots of doors and not take it literally).
2. If they do take it literally, would it be likely to be the same two ladies who come back, or do they give the addresses of potentially interested householders to their team leader who then decides who will do a return visit?
3. If there is to be a return visit, is it likely to be the same day of the week as the first visit (Thursday in this case)?
4. Do they have a set amount of time that they spend at each house or will they continue talking for as long as I seem 'interested'?
5. If I ask a question they cannot answer, would that probably make them leave?
6. Is it better to invite them in or keep them on the doorstep?
I realise if it's the same two ladies they might well be disappointed to have me to talk to and not my son (!), but although Mark probably will be in, (he is very busy running his own web-design business from home), he said if they return, he would probably leave it to me to talk but would listen in from another room.
The ladies left Mark with the March 08 Awake and the 1 April 08 Watchtower mags, which he threw straight in the recycling bin after they left, but I have pulled them out to read. Most of it made me squirm and clench my toes in revulsion, but in a couple of place I just laughed at the sheer comic ridiculousness of the statements.
I have dutifully used a highlighter on each page of the magazines (I have heard from all of you here that that's what JWs do before meetings), but I have highlighted things I think are wrong or don't make sense.
The first article in the Awake magazine is entitled "Is there one true religion?" It states that if you follow the moral laws of the bible, good consequences will be realised and if you don't, bad ones will happen. It claims this proves "the bible's moral laws hold true for all mankind". The next bit is the statement that really gets me: they say " IT LOGICALLY FOLLOWS" that as the bible's moral laws are true, it must therefore mean that the bible's teachings on worship, what happens when we die and hope for an everlasting future "are also truths".
My understanding of the meaning of logic is obviously very different to theirs.
It also makes me laugh how they bossily say: "So think: ....." before a statement, conditioning the reader to feel that if they don't agree, they simply haven't thought hard enough about the subject.
I guess you are all very familiar with the Watchtower and Awake writing style and the unbelievable content that has no relevance to most people's lives, but it's all new and morbidly fascinating to me.
If you have any further advice on how to talk effectively to JWs at the door-step, I would be grateful to hear it.
Heather