Like many JW children, I was deeply influenced and motivated by Watchtower Society artwork depicting the new system of things. I was profoundly influenced by artwork (particularly in the book: You Can Live Forever In Paradise On Earth) that portrayed children petting tigers, playing with lion cubs, running through grassy fields with kites, and enjoying care-free lives.
What I now realized about myself is that for a JW to desire such things; and to go through the motions - performing organizationally-programmed activity in order to receive this reward; does not necessarily require a love for God or Christ that is any deeper than other religionists.
Being convinced that Armageddon was" just around the corner", and that a utopia was in store for us, the irritation at having to attend redundant meetings became tolerable . The frustration that came with being a public spectacle in the door-to-door work was something that I was able to push aside in my mind and suppress . . . . for a while, at least. After all, the end was going to be here within just a few years; right?
The Society’s publication My Book of BibleStories was an extremely powerful tool for planting the JW organizational concept into my mind. When I was just learning to read, my mother would study this book with me on a weekly basis, and I remember that I enjoyed the studies. From an early age, I had a passion for drawing, so my mother would give me assignments to draw pictures from the stories in the book and to bring them to the study the next time. Despite me now leaving and repudiating the Watchtower organization, I still feel a deep appreciation and respect for my mother who worked so tirelessly to try to instill spiritual values in us kids.
But, as I later realized as an adult, the My Book of Bible Stories was not just an overview of Biblical accounts; designed to give children basic Bible knowledge. The book (if used the way it is intended) is used by parents to draw direct parallels between mostly Old Testament Biblical accounts and the modern day Watchtower organization. Direct parallels are usually drawn between Moses and the modern day organization. The Israelite’s system of "organized" worship at the temple is equated with attendance at meetings and assemblies. I was instilled with this mindset which became deeply ingrained; and solidified through repetition. Therefore, as an adult, when I would sit through a convention drama which equated Moses and the Old Covenant priesthood with the modern day Governing Body, such reasoning not only seemed perfectly logical to me; but stirred up my feelings of devotion to "Jehovah’s theocratic arrangement".
One example of this kind of application in the Bible Stories book is the chapter about the Israelites murmuring over the manna delivered to them in the wilderness. This kind of information is intended to accomplish much more than educate children about an account in Exodus. The attention that is given to this lesson with a child is usually used to instill an attitude of reverence for "manna-like provisions" from Jehovah - via the organization. Meetings, assemblies, and Watchtower magazines are likened to "spiritual manna". I learned from a very early age that if I showed disrespect or a lack of enthusiasm for such organizational provisions, then I was behaving like the ungrateful Israelites. I look back now, and I see that this book was instrumental in teaching me (from as young as 4-5 years old) that God and the Watchtower organization were virtually indistinguishable.
For me, the most compelling chapter in the book was probably the one which discusses the flood of Noah’s day. As a child, this one Biblical account (the way it is spun by JWs) deeply instilled in me a fear of ever being outside of the organization. When I consider what JWs teach about the flood account and it’s so-called "parallel" to modern times, I see that this one part of the Bible can be portrayed to encompass the entire JW experience - their life mission (both individually and collectively), the organization’s importance to the world, the urgency behind printing and distributing literature, the individual’s relationship to God, their relationship to society at large, and the futility of creating any kind of successful life in this world. Because of this, this one account is where I probably received the most powerful and convincing indoctrination into the whole Watchtower organizational concept.
For me, the flood of Noah story was so powerful in the indoctrination process, because there were basically four ways in which parallels were drawn between this event, and the modern day JW organization. From this single account, children are taught that:
- Just as Jehovah gave Noah an awesome preaching assignment; he has given "His people" a similar assignment today. The idea is then put forward that the only way this assignment can be adequately done is through door-to-door distribution of literature.
- Jehovah is shortly going to destroy all of the wicked people (those who do not respond to the Watchtower’s gospel) just as He did back then. Now, with this Biblical tale now planted in the child’s mind as if it were a real historical event, they are now taught that:
- They need to eventually go door-to-door and preach to the people (with Watchtower literature) just like Noah did. If the people laugh at them; that’s okay, because the people laughed at Noah too. Here, the child is equipped with a mental defense mechanism. If they are ridiculed or met with amused skepticism, they can feel the satisfaction that such "wicked ones" will be destroyed at Armageddon.
- They are then taught that they must be inside Jehovah’s modern-day ark (the Watchtower organization) to survive destruction, just as Noah and his family had to be inside the ark. All of those who do not come to Jehovah’s organization (ark) will be destroyed.
After reflecting long and hard over my JW life with it’s accompanying mindset, I have come to believe that this one area of teaching explains how Jehovah’s Witnesses can very easily develop a superiority complex over the rest of society. I certainly did. According to the Watchtower’s parallel with Noah, individual Jehovah’s Witnesses are members of a tiny minority which have been enlightened with knowledge that even the most educated and intelligent minds are not privy to. They are part of a chosen group that has been entrusted with an elite assignment that no one else has been given. Any and all evidence that might discredit the Watchtower organization can be conveniently dismissed. How so? The JW is taught to reason that just as people try to discredit Jehovah’s people today; the ancient wrong-doers tried to discredit Noah and his message as well. Just this one simple defense mechanism is enough to shut the mind of any JW to any disconfirming information.
If the average JW kid has been effectively instructed with all of these logical fallacies, sophistry, and rhetoric, and they have accepted them as real; then they are well on their way to being a good organizational apologist.
So, just as the parallel between Moses and the modern day Watchtower leadership can govern how Witnesses behave and think; so can the story of Noah - which is one of the first Biblical stories taught to JW children. For me, it eventually grew into an all encompassing world view. How so?
Well, as a JW kid, if I felt that I was mistreated by neighbors or school mates; I was able to indulge in the satisfaction that those people would be punished with a horrible death at Armageddon. Then, into adulthood, If I felt down-trodden or pushed around by society, my job, my creditors, or by the economic system; I could indulge in the satisfaction that those institutions will be crushed and wiped off the earth by Jehovah. For people who have been cajoled into not attending college or planning for their financial future; such a mental and emotional defense mechanism eventually becomes a necessity.
After studying My Book Of Bible Stories, the next publication I studied with my mother was the Listening To the Great Teacher book. I remember that this book emphasized good character development among the youth. One of the major focal points of this publication was OBEDIENCE.
I remember that the publication emphasized obedience to parents; but it was written in such a way for the child to mentally transfer this concept of parental obedience toward the organization. From a very early age, the book instilled in me the belief that my spirituality and worth as a Christian would be equal to the level of unquestioning obedience I gave to the organization. This book helped instill in me the concept that organizational conformity, compliance, submission, and unanimity were not only required Christian qualities, but were essential for my salvation.
As I got a little older, I was now ready to study the You Can Live Forever In Paradise OnEarth book - the big red pill; as I call it. I had been taught that as I had got older, that I needed to graduate from "spiritual milk", and into the "solid food" of Jehovah. I was sort of excited, to tell you the truth. As a little kid, I was already convinced that I was "in the truth". However, what the Paradise book accomplished was that it educated me in the HOWs, and the WHYs. How do we know we have the truth? This book was going to tell me.
Here is a 10 - point checklist of the most important things I learned from the red Paradise book:
- We were the only true religion, and that everyone else were a bunch of pagan sons of bitches.
- Why Fred Franz would go to heaven, but not Abraham.
- That 1914 was a solid, well-founded, Bible-based date even though most Witnesses couldn’t explain it using the Bible.
- We as Jehovah’s people needed to stay away from discos, leather pants, cigarettes, women with long blonde hair, and rastafarians.
- Why voting for city council-person is akin to idolatry.
- If I remained loyal to the Watchtower organization, I could have my very own lakeside home with peacocks in the front yard.
- In the new system, all of the brothers will wear khakis and button shirts while working in their gardens.
- Reading the Society’s rainbow colored books is superior to any college education.
- The fact that we Jehovah’s Witnesses all think the same, are obsessive compulsive about following rules, don’t believe in hell, don’t toast at weddings, and that people view us as peculiar and uneducated is proof that we have the "truth".
- The end is near!
Well, this was proof enough for me! I was ready to throw down my Hot Wheels, push aside my Legos, climb on top of my toy box and shout to the sky: "Here I am, send me!"
And so later on, I eventually became a publisher, and then progressed to the point of baptism. The really cool part about my baptism was that I got baptized in that very assembly hall pool that me and my friends would go stare at. I was 14 when I got baptized at the Norco circuit assembly in January of 1990. I was so skinny, scrawny, and white, that in my baptism pictures, it looked like they were dunking the pale horseman from the Revelation Climax book. I was one of about seven people baptized from my congregation that day. This was before baptismal candidates consisted of only JW children and eccentric musicians.
Reflecting on my JW upbringing, I came to some significant realizations about my faith in the Watchtower organization. First, I realized that a young child who has not developed critical thinking skills lacks the ability to identify the faulty logic, sophistry, red herring arguments, and the false analogies that are used in Watchtower publications.
Therefore these kinds of lessons - which I studied with a loving parent that I trusted, were powerfully convincing when it came to instilling the Watchtower theology and world view. While still just a kid, I now had a deeply-rooted emotional investment in the organization which then motivated me to indoctrinate myself more and more as I got older.
The more that I helped indoctrinate myself; the more that I looked to the organization as my source of identity, safety, and security. The more that I looked to the organization as my source of identity, safety, and security; the more I needed to protect and mental construction from disconfirming evidence. I got really good at this process of self-delusion.
In my next post, I’ll talk about my becoming a Ministerial Servant, a Regular Pioneer; and how such related experiences began to awaken serious questions about Watchtower doctrines.
To be continued . . . . .