"Bugger this", I thought, "I'm going to give this lot a piece of my mind!" I opened the front door and walked towards the 2 sets of witness neighbours...
Part 3.
I walked towards the 4 of the them, and they just froze. "Oy, you lot", I said, "I have something to say to you all. I was here first. You, John (oops, name drop!), moved in and didn't know that you had an ex witness living next door, so that's just bad luck. However, you, Mr New Arrival, haven't moved in yet. You can go to the housing association and get a different house to live in. Yes I am a DF'd witness and I am also a very opposed ex-witness too. I WILL NOT PLAY THE GAME, I will be difficult and awkward, and I will not quietly look away when I see you. I will spend lots of time in my back garden, so you will be looking straight at me whenever you come outside. Go live somewhere else!"
Do you know that all 4 of them just looked straight down at the ground and didn't even make the slightest response? Morons!
Well, the newbies DID move in, it was a hot summer and sure enough, I spent as much time as possible in the garden, so they were sort of penned up inside. Whenever they did go into their garden to barbie I was straight out there, so they would have to carry everything back in again. I had penned a 3 chord song called "You don't believe what I do, so you are going to die", and I sat in the garden and frequently strummed and sang just to annoy them.
Just annoying the neighbours became something of an obsession with me, once I walked into the garden with my 12 bore and they all scuttled back in whilst I stripped it down for cleaning. Great fun.
However, the lack of response was beginning to get to me, so I decided to up the tempo a little. I had a sign made that said "No religious callers, please", and fastened it to the front door. Now that DID get to them!
A few weeks later, there was huge witnessing push (someone had said Peace and Security!), and I watched a number of carloads of JW's began piling into Dub 1's house. Obviously a pre-ministry meeting was taking place. After a half-hour or so had passed, they all began to mill about outside my house and began to point at my "No religious callers" sign. Then a large lady put her hands on her hips and called towards the window: "What a nerve! As if we would ever call on someone who is disfellowshipped. Hah!"
So, there we have about 15-20 dubs outside my house, and me, Mr.DF, is getting flack from some total strangers. I decided to make a stand. I went into the kitchen, picked up a large carving knife, and walked out into the front garden......
End of part 3.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be....