Sean went to mass with me again on Sunday. He knelt during the consecration of Eucharist and said the Lord's Prayer with us. Does this make him an automatic DA?
YERUSALYIM
"Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
[Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"]
Update on my step son New Info
by Yerusalyim 10 Replies latest jw friends
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Yerusalyim
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Fredhall
Ask him
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ashitaka
NO. Not unless he wants to of course. DF is another matter. Only if some JW saw him walking out of mass on a sunday would it pose a prob.
ashi
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Yerusalyim
I was under the impression that the society considered some acts to by thier definition cause one to be disassociated. Joining the military is one of those actions. Isn't worshipping in another church such an action. By the way, there was no presure put on him to do these things. I said nothing to him at all, when I kneeled he knelt.
YERUSALYIM
"Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
[Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"] -
Billygoat
I said nothing to him at all, when I kneeled he knelt.
My only concern is that he is following you just to follow you. Perhaps because he knows he wants to fit in or please you? Just a thought. I guess I say this because when I've been to Catholic mass, it made me feel very uncomfortable when I didn't know what "to do" and "when to do it". I followed others out of my comfort level...not because I accepted the Catholic beliefs.
Andi
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Satanus
Yeru
By wt standards he bowed down to a false god, the devil and his demons and all that. I think the wt has a doctrine of one doing such things as automatically dissassociating themselves. But you said he was a bit autistic, so he may not understand this.
His background as a dub and family problems probably have him in a suggestable state. He may look up to, and feel compelled even without your saying a word. To make sure, you might need to explain that your relationship w him is unconditional on whether he participates or not. IMO
SS
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Yerusalyim
Billygoat,
You might be right, but then again when he's come to mass with me in the past he never felt compelled to do these things. I don't doubt that part of this is related to his dad tossing him out on his keister, but I firmly believe some of this is rooted in true doubts that he's been discussing with me for two years now.
MAJOR UPDATE:
Before Garry kicked Sean out of the house he had applied for SSI (social security) for Sean. Originally he was turned down. Garry then made an appeal. Last night Garry called and said the appeal had been approved and that Sean would be recieving SSI. Garry now wants to come get Sean and set him up in an apartment with his 20 year old brother. Guess who would have control of the money.
He's treating Sean like a yo yo, and I'm putting my foot down. Sean is not yet at the point where he can live on his own. His brother is barely able to take care of himself, much less provide the structured environment Sean needs not just to get by, but to improve and excell. Getting ready to discuss the possibility of having myself and mom declared his legal guardian to prevent Garry from trying to force the issue.
My concerns: Garry had no interest in this until there was money involved. He's treating Sean like a Yo Yo, The brother can not provide for Sean's needs. Sean still needs to learn cooking, cleaning, personal hygene, time management, laundry, etc. He needs a job coach and job skills program if he ever hopes to be competetive in the open job market and get off SSI (one of his stated goals). He needs transportation which is just not available ( he doesn't drive, may never be able to due to poor eye hand coordination) We've got Sean set up for an evaluation designed to identify his limitations and to develop a program to help him acheive his goals of independence and self suffeciency (something his Father and step mom have yet to look at doing).
Needless to say, I'm a bit pissed off at Garry treating Sean like this and for presuming to once again disrupt our family life with yet one more change.
YERUSALYIM
"Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
[Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"] -
Yerusalyim
Sooo, I called Garry last night (Tuesday) and got the answering machine. Apparently he was at the Meeting. So I left a message saying Sean wants to stay here and finish out High School with us. Garry went ballistic when he called back. He accussed me of trying to come between him and his son, of planting ideas against Garry in Sean's head, etc. He reminded me he was the custodial parent in the divorce decree to which I reminded him that Sean is almost 19 so that no longer applies. He threatened several times to drive down and pick up Sean (Good luck getting on the military installation and off again). I just kept reminding him that we need to do what is in Sean's best interest. Garry kept saying he was the best judge of that. So I (not so innocently) asked if sending Sean out of the house in the middle of the school year, if allowing him to be punished for getting after school snacks like apples, if being complicitice in making Sean stay in his basement bedroom except for meals, if not taking Sean on family outtings like movies and restraunts was how he was making decisions in Sean's best interest. All this was going on while his new wife's daughters and his own younger son had no such restrictions.
One of Garry's issues was I wasn't taking Sean to meetings. I reponded that all Sean had to do was ask and he would be taken, just like always. So far Sean hasn't asked this time around.
It ended with Sean telling Garry he wanted to stay, Garry seems to agree to let him, but, not trusting Garry, we're going to a judge to get Guardianship of Sean for his own protection.
On a side note, Sean again asked me to look into convert classes for him. That's one of today's projects.
YERUSALYIM
"Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
[Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"] -
ashitaka
Interesting ans typical, sounds just like a JW man to throw that crap at you, and trying to control a son who just wants to love him.
If your son wants the structure of another chruch, then letting him wouldn't be bad I suppose. Good luck.
ashi
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outnfree
Yeru,
I'll be praying for your success!
Sean is lucky to have you.outnfree
In dealing with fear, the way out is in -- Sheldon Kopp