Brotherly love in action ?

lancelink

kind of a strange experience here, maybe someone can make me see what's going on.

My parents live in another state, to visit them would require at least a 22 hour drive, no trains,
planes are fine but since the airport is in the middle of nowhere tickets are getting quite costly ($$$$$$.)

Anyway, for years they were decent, normal witnesses, they did the usual things like have a book study in their home
for several years, they gave talks, and helped out when and where they could.
Somewhere within the last three years, they had somewhat of a falling out with some of the witnesses, it seems that there
was quite a hierarchy in their cong. so they basically quit going. From what I understand, most of their good friends had
either died, gone to nursing homes, or moved away.
MY father several weeks ago has a stroke, almost dies, and is currently moving between the IT unit of the local hospital and a rehab home. My mother is driving 40+ miles almost each day to visit him.
Since I am in Wisconsin, I cannot get down to visit very easily, my two brothers
(both from different parts of the country, much closer than me) have gone down, and they stated that there is really no
reason for me to come down until the situation changes,, one way or the other.

I recently realized that the local congregation of JW's has not been involved at all. This situation has been pretty
stressful on my mom, and I realize that if there are some hard feelings in the pipeline, this type of emergency situation should be foremost,forget the ego's right now.
But it seems that within the last few years nobody has even checked up on them.
My first reaction is to call their hall and find out why none of the "spiritually strong" individuals have done anything,
my parents helped out quite a few witnesses (spiritually and $$),, is this how the society really works?
or am I just emotionally venting right now ?

Any comments will be greatly appreciated, positive or negative, I need some other opinions to decide what to do.

Hortensia

with JWs, it's out of sight, out of mind. I'm so sorry to hear about your dad's stroke. You must be really worried. I'm glad your brothers could make it out to see your parents - when my mother was in her last illness my sisters and I took turns visiting - easier on us but mom always had someone there. Especially since you live so far away, it makes sense that you and your brothers don't all visit at the same time. Forget about JWs; they aren't going to help. It's a shabby way to behave, but that's the way it is.

Bumble Bee

Your situation is all too common. Something similar happened when my father fell ill, although there was no falling out with any brothers or sisters, but they had only been in that cong a few years when he became sick. My mother received no help from anyone in the cong. When she was talking to an elder friend in a different cong/city about the situation, he called her elders and said something. She did get some help, but it was because the elders were "shamed" into action. It took another elder in another city/cong to call and say "what's up with this" before they did anything. They actually told my mother "you made us look bad". It was their own "inaction" that made them look bad.

You may have to do something similar, call and ask where the brotherly love is. My thoughts are with you and your family.

BB

shamus100

I'm very sorry to hear about your father.

I can affirm that this is very common. Witnesses are so busy they don't have time to look after they're own. It is actually quite hearbreaking.

When I stopped going to meetings for two months before I moved, nobody said boo to me - it was a relief in hindsight, but sad at the same time. (not that my example is at all tragic) You're only in people's thoughts until you stop going to meetings.

I wish you and your family the best.

flipper

LANCELINK- I am sorry to hear about this treatment of your parents friend. It is way too common a drum which has been beaten in this organization. Unless people are actively going out, knocking on doors, attending meetings, or brown nosing the elders a$$e$ - they get forgotten. I agree with BUMBLE BEE's take- if you have phone numbers - call those elders and guilt them into helping your parents. It's the LEAST they can do - as your parents gave so much to that organization. Good luck, hang in there, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

yknot

I have to agree this is a widespread common occurence that grows with each passing year.

Heck I have overheard Elders discussing whether they should ask a brother at my hall to stop coming because he doesn't contribute $$, go in field service or do hall maintance. Grant you he is only going to make his mama happy but I didn't here them mention any spiritual concern once about this brother.

True colors are shining through.

I am glad to hear your father has recovered enough to begin rehab!

Carlos_Helms

Go and visit your dad and support your mom.

During my dad's last years, I turned up the attention...even though I lived 1200 miles away. Dad died suddenly at home about a month after my last visit. I was happy that I got the chance to visit. You don't want to have any regrets when the inevitable happens.

Carlos

calico

Similar situation with my in-laws. They went to the same congregation for at least 40 years-contributed much and helped ones at the hall that needed money--but they were not to be found when we needed help taking care of them! Some helped but expected to be paid.

We were even told to move them by us so that we could take better care of them--they did not want to leave their town.

calico

Oh, one sister was being paid to clean their house and it got back to me that she was insinuating to sisters in a car group that she was being taken advantage of. I told the sister that related this to me that it wasn't true--she was being paid! Funny thing--one of my in-laws neighbors told us several times she would only stay at their house for 1/2 hour. I guess she was a dishonest pioneer! Imagine that!

Octarine Prince

If you are out of the organization, and they are fading, you really have no place in saying anything to them.

Continue to do what your sibling said. Bashing the JWs won't heal your father.

Brotherly love in action ?

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