A letter to my parents (page 2)

Open mind

C'mon Josie. Fess up.

1 See's coffee mug

Everybody knows that once you leave Jehovah your thieving impulses get the best of you.

om

hillbilly

I have a similar phone call with my mom about once a year.......... sorry Jonesy. She is a ex witness.... the narcacissm is only improved with religous frevor.

Jeff

When I was reading your post, I seemed to recall another one where you talked about your mom accusing you of stealing one of her coffee mugs. Is that memory correct? If so, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, send me her address, and I'll mail her the dozens of mugs I've collected throughout the years. I've got a whole cupboard-full of them and can't bring myself to throw them away, because some of them were gifts and others are part of a matching set. I betcha there are many others on this board in the same situation. Wouldn't it be funny if everyone on JWD sent her a bunch of coffee mugs? She'd proably throw them away if she knew they from apostates.

mind my own

Good for you for sticking up for yourself!! Sounds like it is long overdue!

MMO

NYCkid

Hi Josie,

I'm not really familiar with the situation/significance of the items you mention or your overall relationship with your parents but from my own experience, it is important for us to set boundaries with our JW-family. I think it's great that you mention this and what you expect in your draft letter but from my perspective, I think it might be helpful to be a little more clear on what you do and do not expect from them. That said, you can ask them, but it doesn't guarantee they will respect your wishes. Be prepared for that.

For the past five years or so, I endured periods of shunning for several months followed by sudden phone calls as if nothing had happened. I also endured mailings of JW literature with comments and highlighted passages directed at me. I also sent money on a few occasions and once was forced to ask for the money to be returned after they told me they just couldn't talk to me anymore right after they cashed my check. Anyway I mention this because I could not handle the emotional abuse and disrespect and eventually had set clear boundaries, basically they are not to call unless they show interest in my life and can accept my life choices. Also they are not to send me JW literature or it will be returned shredded in a box. (I had to see a therapist briefly because their treatment was interfering in my college studies). It's only been around 8 months but it has worked so far. We've only spoken twice over the phone and its been on my terms.

Good luck and hang in there. There is comfort in knowing that many of us have to manage similar issues.

NYCkid

orangefatcat

Excellent letter. Seems your mom and pop have forgotten that old adage. If you haven't got anything nice to say than don't say it at all. Huh double standards eh?

I am glad you put your mom in her place, parents seem to think they can walk all over us when we are adults its like they forget that we are older and smarter too.

Hold your ground, sweetie

Best wishes,

always

Orangefatcat

mrsjones5

I think it might be helpful to be a little more clear on what you do and do not expect from them. That said, you can ask them, but it doesn't guarantee they will respect your wishes. Be prepared for that.

Oh I've been crystal clear with my parents, especially my mother but I've learned the hard way that you can say over and over what your boundries are and how you should be treated but if that person doesn't respect you and feel that you have been put on this earth to serve their selfish needs it all goes in one ear and out the other.

My parents don't take me seriously, I'll give you an example: Five years ago I told my parents that my family and I were moving to Indiana. They didn't believe me. They told me that I was lying, my husband was lying, we were deluded, and we weren't going anywhere. I made it very clear that this was going to happened and I told them when. Mother pulled a crazy about a week before we left, I decided that I wasn't going to deal with her and we left California without saying goodbye. And get this - they were surprized that we left! Omg! What we were saying was true! I think somewhere in the back of my mother's mind she thought that I didn't have the balls to do it and that I just couldn't leave her. I should have done it years ago.

So it's not up to me to expect my parents to change. It's a guarantee that they won't but I can change how I deal with them.

Oh an Aunt who I rarely speak to (yep she's a jw and a crazy one too) called me yesterday to let me know that my brother is in the hospital with the Flu. For my brother, in his condition, it's not a good thing. I think my Aunt knows that me and my parents aren't talking and she did the right thing by calling me and letting me know what was going on cuz I called my father soon after getting off the phone with my Aunt and I don't think my parents were going to call me - I could tell by the tone of my father's voice. Just before we signed my father said something to the affect of "thanks for calling" and I said "Call me whether it's good or bad news." I had a feeling that my father was dismissing me and just didn't think I wanted or needed to know what was going on with my brother. *sigh*

Josie

jamiebowers

Five years ago I told my parents that my family and I were moving to Indiana. They didn't believe me. They told me that I was lying, my husband was lying, we were deluded, and we weren't going anywhere. I made it very clear that this was going to happened and I told them when. Mother pulled a crazy about a week before we left, I decided that I wasn't going to deal with her and we left California without saying goodbye. And get this - they were surprized that we left! Omg! What we were saying was true!

It's not surprising she didn't believe you. After all, the WTB&TS has been telling her for years that Armageddon is coming, and that hasn't happened yet!

Hope your brother makes a quick recovery!

sf

{{{hugs}}} Knowing the history here...you have my total support girlfriend. It's so true about how they believe the have a right to treat us with such utter disrespect, and that of their grand children, because of an insane "religious POLICY" they don't question or disobey. sKally

TJ - iAmCleared2Land

Great letter... but what's the story behind the "1 pair of shoes"? Maybe I missed it....

A letter to my parents

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