Welcome, tiffy0212. If your name is on the savings account, do as a previous poster said and go to the bank with identification to find out the amount. You may also want to have them check for any other accounts and cd's. If there's enough money in savings to live on til February and hire an attorney, leave as soon as you want. Most states require that any marriage lasting longer than 10 years requires an equal share of retirement savings and a split of assets such as real estate. Check with an attorney before you do anything, though. You are only 61, which in this day and age is pretty young. Who knows, once you get yourself together, maybe you'll meet someone else to spend your golden years with. Good luck and God bless.
time to leave after 42 yrs of marriage
by tiffy0212 23 Replies latest social family
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sosad
i wish you were my mother!!!! well done - and I am sure your children love and support you
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Hortensia
Go see a lawyer for advice, go get the money and leave. Go be happy. Have some fun. And by all means, tell him to do his own laundry.
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logic&reason
Sorry for all of your past problems. Your life is not wasted. You have the rest of it to enjoy.
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zagor
What a wasted life I have had.
Irronically I've just commented on marriage elsewhere. Well I'd say live the life ahead of you, you cannot change past, you can only allow past ruin the future if you dwell on it too much. Do something for you, for yourself, something you always wanted to do but never had time or courage to try it, do it now. I've met a lady today in her 70s believe it or not, who just graduated with her M.A, in psychology. She said, she lived for two different husband and 7 children and never for herself and one day said enough was enough. She has the biggest smile you've ever seen. So go out, and do something whatever it is, just DO it.
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passive suicide
One thing I know to be true after reading your story......... YOUR LIFE WAS NOT WASTED!!!! The experience you have gained is freeing. It sounds as if your hubby was using relig. to control both you, and your family. BUT YOU were able to release your children from that bondage. What a gift. Some of us have spent most of our lives realizing that bondage is what it was. YOU have shed light for your kids. You should be proud, and peaceful, that your job as a parent has been fulfilled in that you have passed on valuable experience to them, and this will be one less thing they will have to deal with. Welcome, and it has been a pleasure to hear from you. please continue.
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lisavegas420
Wow..I'm glad you decided it was time to start living your own life. Sounds like considering all...you did pretty good, kids and grandkids free woo hoo.........
and... if you're not happy, and the other person, ole grumpy pants, doesn't want to help rectify the situation..get the hell out. Half of what ever is in any accounts, is yours, you are married, you are entitled...Get a attorney and make sure you get what is yours.
Also...stop washing, ironing and cooking for him. He's a big boy, he gonna have to get used to it.
While you are getting yourself together, get counseling, and help from a women's group. They'll all rally around you and help you. You'll feel like a new woman.
And keep on writing.
I wish you were my mom.
keep us posted.
lisa
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jgnat
He may try and start some trouble. I mean, look what he put over your head the last time you left. But you've figured out now that the children are gone and you will have a source of your own income, you do not need him. You are right.
By the way, my dad, a great man, just remarried at seventy. The two are like lovebirds, always touching and looking over each other. It's never too late to start over.
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sparrow
what hortensia and jgnat said. You go girl! He sounds like a tool - witness or not. Once you are past the hard part, I reckon you will know it was worth the effort. Definitely do some planning first though (bank, lawyer etc)
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Witness 007
After leaving her abusive Pioneer husband my mother is happy and content with her life in her 60's....at least you have a big family to keep you busy.....you still can live the way you want.