Hey Dawg,
I'm one that's still 'in', but already checked out. So, I'll take a shot at answering. It'll help me clear up in my own head where I am and where I'm going. I won't attempt to speak for others, they'll have their reasons. I'll try to be direct in my personal reasons.
I've read where many of you have posted that you "don't want to hurt family members feelings" and that's the reason you don't come clean about how you feel as far as the JW's go.
That is one of the reasons for me. I have other reasons, too. While I'm emotional, I'm also very analytical. You can call it either a rist/reward or a cost/benefit analysis. As I continually study my situation, I see that doing the confrontation and getting away will have some benefits, but very high costs, economically, physically, emotionally. By living this "double life(tm)", there is a cost, sometimes minimal, sometimes high. But at the same time, I'm optomizing the benefit that goes along with that. The rewards are financial (since I don't donate a cent and am building my financial independence), and mental (I'm taking the time to prepare myself and my circumstances for all the things involved in leaving).
I was wondering if it ever dawned on you who think like this how you still are being abused mentally by both this religion and your family by worrying about their feelings while they have total disregard for your thoughts and/or feelings?
True. There is a high level of mental abuse and control in the bOrg. I feel it sometimes. But as I learn here, get more experience, and analyze what's going on around me, I break the influence... and I work on breaking its influence on others.
I've never told a family member how they must think for me to talk to them; never hounded a family member to come to a meeting they have clearly shown they don't want to attend. I've never told any living soul that they must look upon another group of men as if they have God guiding their works.
I've been telling others how great it is to have less magazines, shorter PTs, and a free night next year. I've told them that some of this stuff is, well, nutty, yes, right in the elders meetings, too. I don't hound anybody. I speak freely with all the faders. Didn't invite even one to the Forgetitall, er, I mean Memorial. I've missed more meetings than an elder should. And I defend those that miss them, too. And I hassle any self-righteous sh!theads whenever I can pull it off.
My question is, why do many of you put up with that kind of behavior, refuse to speak out, when it's clearly not you but them who force these foolish JW rules on you that's causing the confrontation.
It still goes back to the current cost/benefit analysis. And when it comes time for the confrontation, I won't waste it here at home with the family. Due to my previous position and circumstances, I'd prefer to wait and confront the sons of bitches out in New York when I'm ready.
And please, don't come back with some make believe world where the JW's and your family leaves you alone about this crap, we all know how JW land works.... pressure, pressure, and more pressure to attend meetings, go in field service, and the like.
I know what you're saying, there's plenty of pressure. I've already lived in the make believe world a long time. Let's say I still have an address and phone there in JW land, but it's all getting forwarded to my new home in 'double-life land'. You remember the stories you used to get warned about as a teen. Until I quit, I can be a sneaky sneaker and go out to unacceptable movies, associate with "bad associates", and go to inappropriate places and drink unholy spirits. Sometime I go to meetings in other Halls (no, not really, I just say I do). I turn in fake hours. And I prepare for the WT study every week- THANKS BLONDIE!!
So, come clean and help me understand why many of you won't confront the abuse?
Well, that's about as clean as I'm ready to come right now. Maybe this doesn't make a lot of sense to you. You're more of a "don't spare the buckshot and take no prisoners" kind of guy, dawg. I like and respect that in you and others here on JWD. I hope your family wises up and gets out, too. I guess I'm more of a spy/sniper that infiltrates and does as much damage as possible until it's time to retire. So, yeah, I don't want to hurt my family's feelings. But I also don't have an urgency to get out ASAP. As you might have seen on my recent thread, I'm trying to deal with a load of issues right now, which I'm being rather vague about. While the problems are dub influenced to some extent, there would be sparks with the family even if none of us were dubs. Non-dubs have family problems arise too. Anyway, check out some of the recent bad weather stories and videos on the Internet and it will give you an idea of what I'm stressed out about. Dub or not, that's some bad stuff hitting people. B the X
