I don't really like my sister...

by cognac 14 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  cognac

  She has the capability of being nice but I never feel like its very warm.

  I've tried to reach out to her before but I just have nothing in common with her. I don't even feel comfortable around her.

  Because of her personality, the idea of just being in her presence stresses me out. Before, I dealt with that by just playing with her kids the whole time.

  Now, because she feels I'm an apostate, bla, bla, bla she won't even talk to me. And I can't stand her at all. Even beside JW stuff, I just don't like her.

  This last argument with her that ended in her having my dad rat me out to the elders pissed me off, then she ignored me at the assembly like I was d'fed. I really have no desire at all to make up with her.

  The only thing though... She has kids. I love her kids. This puts a terrible strain on me cause now I can't see them.

  Maybe I can invite my whole family over in groups so that I can see the kids without having to deal with her?

  Ok, I'm open for suggestions. What do you think?
• 

  Superfine Apostate

  hmm... don't know what to do about the kids, but i learned that good friends are way more important than any family ties. of course some family members may be one's best friends too. or one's worst enemies...
• 

  Finally-Free

  I have some family members who were never JWs who I don't have anything in common with. I still get together with them because I like their kids and grandkids. I just avoid topics that we don't agree on. If they start looking for an argument I just tell them I don't care what they think and walk away.

  W
• 

  hillbilly

  You can pick your nose.......but you cant pick your family.

  Sorry..best I can do.. early and not enough coffee.

  Hill
• 

  fifi40

  I think.............I dont like her either
• 

  WTWizard

  This is not an uncommon pickle to be in. Everyone has one cousin or sibling they do not like for whatever reason, usually because they cause grief at every chance they can. And it's harder if there are children involved.

  I have had one cousin that was like that. For me, the mother was at least bearable. However, the children (and that was when I was a child myself) were obnoxious. The whole structure of that family made me feel uneasy. And they were not witlesses--add their being witlesses, and it is easy to see why one would feel uneasy around them.
• 

  Layla33

  Don't let it bother you, I have a brother like that, he's always resented me because I am the only girl and he feels I was overly favored by my father. I stand my ground, but we have battled a few times, but it isn't worth it, it's family - you don't choose them, you just learn to live with them or without them. Personally, I just speak occasionally, but I don't let his issues affect me. We have a detached relationship, he always put on the phony JW front, and I laugh at him. My parents or whomever will try the whole guilt thing, "it's family" - that's their deal, not mine.

  Don't feel guilty or bad because you don't like a family member, you aren't required to like them, and she's being very mean right now. Confront your feelings and then make a committment to how you will deal with them, that way she doesn't constantly annoy you. You can't change how people are, but once you understand how they are, you can learn to deal with them.
• 

  Witness 007

  Try your best I know it's hard...I'm going to talk to my Sister after 3 years....it's akward.
• 

  Robert7

  Hearing stories like this makes me angry toward the Society. How can they say that they don't destroy families?
  
  I can imagine the agony you're going through. We're having a hard time leaving only a few friends. I can't imagine actual family members.
  
  This may be a case where you need to fade and not get DFd or DA. However you're going through the same issue as we are, which is even though you're NOT DFd, people are still shunning you, so it makes it that much easier to just leave.
  
  I wish I could say more, but everything I've learned about the Truth just proves more and more how it's a horrible mind-controlling cult!
• 

  yknot

  I am so sorry......

  This is still fresh for you and your family.

  When time passes enough if she keeps her 'holier then thou"......ask her to do a study with you of JW history using only WT publication under the guise of 'helping' you 'reason' and 'discern' the troof. She can count time, and you can expose the lunacy of the WTS. Surely between all of us here on JWD we can outfit you with a decent library of old stuff.

  Leaving the organization is never easy but with some negotiation and careful steering much can be achieved. Every JW has a doubt or an issue, you just have to develop trust enough for them to tell you theirs.

  I too have family and lifelong friends "in" still and see myself having to keep up on everything JW for the next few years until I can get everyone out.....time and patience is all it takes.

  Be true to yourself during this time because happiness is the best witness to life outside of the society.