Lonely endeavour.

asimpleservant

Hello everyone,
It's been almost 3 years since I've become inactive. My inactivity was due to a divorce. I finally awoke to the fact I was in an abusive and non working relationship and I got out. The Elders weren't that harsh or really that intrusive.

What did cause me to question my faith was one comment from an elder as we had a one on one meeting. It was to the effect that "The end is coming, can't you just bear it for a little while longer?" And the answer was No, I can't..

I haven't been hounded or shunned for that matter. I have allot of brothers and sisters that come up and talk to me when I am out in public. It makes things a little harder as I'm split in two. I would love to go back and visit with my friends but at the same time I see the glaring fallacies with the organization and have done extensive research on it's disturbing past. I have been reading messages on this bored for awhile now and have finally decided to get an account. I definitely sense a great deal pf anger with some. It tends to be those who served some kind of position in the congregation or who were dedicated ministers. I was the latter, having been a home schooled JW since the age of 7 I gladly went door to door happily for most of my life.

I do though feel like I was nothing more than a number to the society, I filled out my forms at the end of the month, they stamped me with the "Saved" stamper and I was good for another month.

Something that has also drawn serious questions into my head is Johannes Greber, his thoughts on god and the bible as told to him by "fallen angels" They are almost word for word the Witness teaching! My investigation into these matters started while I was still a witness, about 16 or 17 I believe. It had dawned on me one day that our memorial services bore a STRIKING similarity to a satanic Black Mass and it has caused me to research the background of the Watchtower ever since. If there is any one that could prove me with more information to either disprove or backup some of my finding I would really like to talk to them.

Well I believe I've ranted on enough. Have a great day...

A simple servant.

BFD

Welcome, SS.

I'd really like to hear more about this...

It had dawned on me one day that our memorial services bore a STRIKING similarity to a satanic Black Mass

BFD

SPAZnik

Wow. Way to sum it up!!! >>>---> "I do though feel like I was nothing more than a number to the society, I filled out my forms at the end of the month, they stamped me with the "Saved" stamper and I was good for another month."

Eyes Open

Welcome ASS. Or maybe I should stick to asimpleservant. :)

Have you managed to make new friends in the real world?

james_woods

Simpleservant has touched upon a very interesting topic - with that comment about the memorial being very much like a black mass.

I always felt creeped out by the witness memorials. It is hard to exactly put your finger on it, but it had an almost occult-like flavor about it. Passing the emblems around, and everybody looking at them - but obviously afraid to touch them. They would bring death to you if you took them without really being annointed!!! And then that talk, droning on and on about Jesus death. The special kingdom hymns for the memorial were depressing, too - very dark in a minor key.

I never could understand why they made such a big deal of passing them around to everybody, when in fact nobody was actually going to partake, at least in most of the KHs that I have been to.

It was really very spooky - I was always glad to be over with this when it finally ended.

Quirky1

Welcome to the board SS!

I am glad you awoke from the slumber of Jdubbyaville.

I look forward to hearing more from you.

Hope4Others

Welcome to Jwd,

I hope that you have made friends since you left, after home schooling I would think it was quite limited as far as

the world goes. Interesting thoughts about the Black Mass....me curious too!

Cheers

hope4others

asimpleservant

Thank you so much for the warm welcome!

I likened the JW memorial to being like a black mass in the sense that it's the only other Passover/Memorial ritual where no one partakes of the host and where Jesus' suffering and torture is transfixed upon. It was something that even at the age of 16 I recognized and always had questions about. I even asked an elder or two as a younger kid and was just kind of patted on the head. I was always the imaginative one and never taken too seriously.

And to answer some questions, yes I have many friends. Even as a Witness I maintained three "worldly" friends they were those who never criticized or questioned my faith and religion so I felt it only fitting never to do so of their life styles either. I chose to serve as a silent Witness to them and each one has a higher level of respect for Witnesses than a normal person would.

Another connection I've made as of late is the alarming amount of procedural similarities between the JWs and the Mormons. I have befriended a few 'traveling missionaries' in my area and we compare notes and internal papers (Time sheets, territory cards, etc...) Not only that but the relation between Joseph Smith and Charles Taze Russell is quite interesting. The ties to them and Masonry make for a good story if anything!

Now I really am just wandering and doing what I do. I work for a large pharmaceutical company which is very cult like in it's own right! :) I have a girlfriend who has a beautiful little girl and we just live without fear or suspense of the "Great and fear inspiring days to come"

Again, thank you for your kindness. I look forward to having many conversations here!

SS

jgnat

Great thoughts, and welcome to the board!

I've always thought the JW's are cheated from any celebration that actually involved eating and drinking with their friends. When we eat together, a bond is formed. Those bonds are very loose in the society. One can be set adrift for the smallest failure.

I'm glad you are finding joy in your new life. Perhaps the elders don't hound you because they are embarrassed. I susepect as much with my JW hubby, who walked away from his first (disastrous, JW) marriage. No-one called on him, either.

Witness 007

Welcome! My mum was told to stay with her wife beating husband even after seperating three times....stupid Elders!

Lonely endeavour.

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