sex before marriage in the borg (page 2)

LearningMore

I felt obligated to "confess" because I was raised to believe I had to confess any "wrongdoing." Living with the guilt was not an option. But being in a JC was a traumatizing experience, and one of the reasons I left for good. After that, I thought, I don't ever want to go before a group of men and be humiliated.

Hortensia

I naively believed that everyone in the cong. was better than I and so of course they followed the rules and the ones who didn't were df. Once I quit going and got involved in a different life, I was stunned to find out how many JW men have a little something on the side with "worldly" women. I guess it's OK because these women are just bird food anyway, eh? Having found that out, I realized that JWs are just like everyone else - sexual beings. They pretend they've got it all under control, but they don't, and their repressive org. contributes to duplicity and double lives.

WTWizard

Why the fxxx they make such a big deal about it. There are so many washtowels telling people that grown people need to be chaperoned at every date, and that it has to be in group settings. Not teens--grown people! And that they should avoid any situation that might (not will, might) lead to going "too far" (whatever that means). Every decision needs a washtowel or the hounders to make.

And for what? Would you buy a car without test driving it? Most people will not, unless they have driven or rode in that car many times and the owner is selling it. (Or they are buying it for scrap.) Would you buy a house without making sure it is suitable for you and in good condition? Most people will not buy a house without knowing whether or not they are going to be able to use it, and they would like to know about any major problems before they commit. And yet, both of these items are replaceable if they do not work out. And yet, you are supposed to choose a marriage partner without testing it out; if it turns out to be a lemon or is unsuitable, you are stuck with it.

I prefer the quote at 1Thess 4:11 where it tells people to mind your own business. If people did that, it wouldn't matter--better to do fornication and break up for incompatibility than to marry and find out that you never had the chance to find out that you were incompatible, and then be stuck for life.

SnakesInTheTower

WTWizard:

1Thess 4:11 where it tells people to mind your own business

My favorite all time scripture...when people were nosing in my business at the KH, esp the BOE..I used to say, "Hey, Brother Jackass, you want the 411?" and of course he was like..."Yeah Brother Snakes, whats the 411?" then i would tell him to look up that scripture (1 Thess 4:11) and walk away...looking back at him in time to see his face turn red...

LOL...no wonder he was always looking to get me off that BOE....

Snakes ()

wha happened?

My ex and I did not. The elders told us that for the last 15 years we were the first. There we alot of marriages between 76 and 91. When I separated I had several affairs with sisters

yknot

....I never understood the 'confess' to the elders schtick.....

Maybe it was covered when I was visiting my Dad.....Oh I heard it occassionally but I never heard why someone would NEED to confess anything to an Elder unless they had some need/desire to be punished.....I don't understand the need to be punished over personal moral infractions in order to be forgiven. When presented in later WT pubs it seemed an option not mandatory.

Stupid me took the Bible literally when it says in 1 John 1:9 " If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous so as to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Confession is something that my Catholic cousins did every week......not a good lil' dubette.

What scripture did they use to justify the NEED to confess?

JimmyPage

Hey Snakes in the Tower my wife wants us to confess our sins. Why not be in charge of our judicial commitee? I like the idea of not being asked a bunch of nosy questions. We did the humpy hump, big deal, give us our private reproof and let's all get on with our lives. Or better maybe my wife could be more like me and not give a rat's ass anymore.

sass_my_frass

It's worth pointing out that the sample here is skewed towards those who don't have a problem with premarital humping.

isaacaustin

I think it is quite frequent...most are guilted into confessing when, a day or 2 b4 the KH wedding, the elders grill the couple as to whether they are 'clean'. I know of one couple who didn't go so far a fornication but engaged in behavior the WT would say disqualified them from having a KH wedding. They simply told the elders they were clean. The guilt followed her years later. I would say it is quite rampant.

sir82

I believe it is quite common.

It also seems the common practice is to wait a few years after the marriage, then confess. If the couple has kept their nose clean in the intervening time since the wedding, and tearfully moans about their "pricking conscience", it is far more likely they will get reproof rather than DF.

I suspect they go thru this in order to purge their consciences. Most of those who go thru the ritual I described above are quite young, and likely still true believers, afraid that Jehovah will strike them dead at the big A if they don't "set things straight".

sex before marriage in the borg

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