Apparently I ruined my mom's life.

reneeisorym

In the course of a conversation (It started with the fact that the convention is in town and I work near the site and I was stressing because my family was across the street) I asked my mom if she was upset because I made her choose between me and her family. She couldn't answer. After silence she said, "I always said I would die for you so I guess we'll see." I really hate her thinking that....

I left first and it was all because of me that she had to choose. I was ok with the consequences of my choice but it sucks that other people are also feeling the consequences of my choice.

Balsam

Your mom is just probably feeling cut off from her old group of friends in the witnesses she used to hang with. You've got your circle of friends and moved on with your life. Your Mom probably hasn't figured out yet how to have friends or to hang with a group. Ask her about what she is doing with her time. She needs a social group of some sort either through a hobby, going to college, or even a club of some sort. Does she work, has she made friends with her co-workers.

Ruth

reneeisorym

my mom's a social butterfly. She has more friends than I could imagine. The problem is that she still thinks it's "the truth".

wings

Remember...all we can do is care....otherwise, it becomes their issue. You have to live your life. She would want that if she were in her right mind.

Co-dependency 101

wings (in therapy)

Awakened at Gilead

Renee,

I'm not too familiar with your situation, so I don't know if your Mom is in or out. But I disagree with your statement:

I made her choose between me and her family.

You didn't make her choose. The org made her choose. If they didn't practice shunning, you all could get along fine. My family is seriously divided over me. The JWs blame me. I don't take that BS... I blame the org. Why can't we all just get along and respect each other's viewpoints? If you disagreed with the WTS, that's not your fault. You are following your conscience.

A@G

chickpea

you needn't take it on, because regardless
of what people say, each person is responsible
for their own choices and course of action....

i would never grant any one of my children
the power to ruin my life!! nor would i hold
them accountable for the choices i make
about the choices they make!!

i cannot control their actions
only my responses to those actions....

Sad emo

YOU didn't make her choose and YOU haven't ruined your mom's life.

She's responsible for her own actions and feelings.

lisavegas420

alt

lisa

trevor

reneeisorym

Now that we are adults we have the right to choose what we believe and how we our lives.

If your mother still hankers after an organization that does not believe we have that right and advocates shunning, that is her choice.

No one should live their life feeling guilty because they are unable to adopt the prejudices of others in order to conform to tyranny.

milligal

If I could get up on my soapbox for a moment....

I am the daughter of two avid JW's -raised that way and I am now a mother to three wonderful kids. I know that as a parent my kids will do things I disaprove of, but I would never, never ask them to live their entire lives around my belief system. My oldest has a JW dad (my ex) and I live everyday with the reality that he may become a JW and cut me out of his life. It scares me, I hate the thought-but I have told him that no matter what he chooses I will love him and be there for him. He doesn't owe me his freedom of choice and I cannot guilt him into making choices to keep me happy.

Your mom might be upset, disapointed, worried....BUT she had her time to raise you, now she has to let you do what is in your heart. If she does anything other than this, she is really operating on her own emotional needs, not yours.

Live your life, don't be guilted by anyone.

Apparently I ruined my mom's life.

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