She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.
Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steamed. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.
She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.... .......including the curtain rods.
~ ~ ~ revenge is a dish best served cold ~ ~ ~
by chickpea 10 Replies latest social humour
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chickpea
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JeffT
True story: I worked with a sheetrocker a while back who had had trouble getting paid on a previous job. So he and his co-worker nailed a fish into the wall of the last house they built. They told the contractor they'd tell him where it was when their paychecks cleared the bank.
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free2think
hahaha nicely done.
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John Doe
Dead things will only stink for a couple of weeks or so.
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ninja
grrrrrr revenge.....me and my mother in law fell out again.......I went round to apologise for pointing out her amazonian underarm hair problem to jealous russian women weightlifters......she was snoozing on the sofa......I was going to waken her up and say sorry....but decided just to let sleeping dogs lie......nice ninja
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Twitch
lol
indeed it is
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Quandry
Ha....haha.....hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!
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MominAustin
that one is an oldie but goodie :D
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UnConfused
John Doe always has cheerful facts.
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crazyblondeb
Then i won't mention the "revenge" i took on my ex. It involved me being a nurse, and a foley catheter.