My parents divorced when I was about 6 and my mom married someone studying who became my stepfather. We became one big happy disfunctional/tyrannical family with stepdad as dictator. He thought it was important for me and my sister to get to meetings even while with our unbelieving dad. So much so that he made me ask him to let us go each time we went over there. My stomach was always in knots when I had to go throught that. Lot to ask a twelve year old. When my dad rightfully said no each time it eventually escalated to visitation rights with our dad being diminished from each weekend to every other weekend. A fine witness huh? Anyway I was curious if others had similar extreme circumstances while growing up whereas the truth was used against an unbelieving parent.
Ever been made to convince unbelieving parent to let you go to meetings?
by grizzly32 3 Replies latest jw experiences
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milligal
This is a really good subject. I never was exactly in your shoes-other than being raised a JW and telling my grandma she was going to die at armageddon if she didn't go to meetings (my mom told me to encourage her-when you're six that's encouragement).
Now my son lives with his JW dad and has visitations with me-his dad just tried the old -I need extra time to take him to the kingdom hall in your town ploy. I said 'No, he's too young to be put in that position' and that was the end of it. I have worked hard after a long custody battle (to which I gave in) to rebuild my life and my ex no matter how pushy and asshole-ish he is knows that when I do say NO I mean it.
I am also studying to be a lawyer and my being the non-custodial parent gives me more rights in court. He has taken me to court with me representing myself against his attorney-and they lost so I have earned my stripes. I feel sorry for your dad if it wasn't that way for him. JW's can make the unbelieving parent nuts if they are allowed to.
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Babylon the Great Employee
Not me, but my cousins. My aunt is DF'd and my grandparents still saw quite a bit of my two cousins (although they never spoke to my aunt). My younger (girl) cousin never really bought into it after a certain age (I think the whole not celebrating Christmas thing was a deterrent), but my older (boy) cousin did buy into it. It caused him a lot of turmoil as a child because he would go to meetings with our grandparents (I have no idea why my aunt allowed it, other than my cousin begged and pleaded and she gave in), and he was often very upset after a good dose of indoctrinization because he believed the things they said (like his mother would die at Armageddon). When my grandparents moved to be closer to us (they wanted to be closer to their son in "the truth" during their retirement, because they couldn't possibly ask anything of the DF'd daughter!), my cousin would spend part of his summer with them, and he'd go back home asking to be taken to meetings and again telling his mom how she was going to be destroyed. Fortunately, he finally wised up and isn't involved in it anymore, of course way too late to avoid the emotional scarring. I know he feels bad about the way he treated his mom as a child.
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grizzly32
Yeah it's fairly easy to make a child feel like if they don't try their hardest to pursuade an unbelieving parent towards the truth then they will die. I however had a step parent who was horrible and couldn't imagine him surviving any kind of judgement from God as opposed to my dad who is unbelieving yet a great person. It feels great to now lead the life I want, as well as I know how and not being burdened with who's gonna die or not. Every family situation is different. I wish all kids would be left to make their own decisions at a time and age they can appreciate what they are getting into.