New Light For You started a thread a day or two ago regarding an email that's been circulating around dubdom. It's a fairy tale in which a 60-year-old guy with Down's Syndrome supposedly searched for years for dubs to connect with. When he finally found one, all the dubs rejoiced that Jehovah doesn't let his faithful followers down, blah, blah.
NewYork44M responded, wondering "....why didn't the congregation take the responsibility for providing the spiritual encouragement? That it took 3 years to find a witness in Florida is unbelievable. It is not like as if this is China."
Here's why the congregation didn't take responsibility for providing ANY kind of encouragement -- THEY DIDN'T GIVE A FLYING LEAP about the poor schmuck when his family took care of him, and they were glad to see him go when his family died.
I base this conclusion on a phone call to my JW mom today. She's elderly and has managed to survive breast cancer and a heart attack within the past three years. My nonJW sibs and I have been helping with the housework, cooking, etc., despite health and personal problems of our own. And I'm OK with that -- family should help family.
But then she told me that not only have the dubs in her congregation NOT helped her during her illnesses, but also that NOT ONE DUB in their congregation has even extended an OFFER of help of any kind.
I'm so angry I could spit. This is the congregation my parents have attended for more than 40 years. In their younger years, my parents spent countless hours driving elderly dubs to meetings, on errands, helping with their housework and sometimes even with their personal care. Now that they need help, the congregation acts as if they don't exist. It's lucky for them they have "apostate" children to help take care of them.
Unlike the fairy tale about the guy in Florida, this story is real. But it won't make the dub email rounds.
A real-life dub fairy tale. Happy ending? Not so much.
by parakeet 17 Replies latest jw experiences
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parakeet
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momzcrazy
When I got out of the hospital, after 8 days in CCU for not taking blood, I had one sister bring me food. I was on complete bedrest. My worldly niece came to stay with me to help, as my husband had to join the tour 2 days after I got home.
And everyone would brag, and want to hear about my standing firm for Jehovah. But no one mentioned the fact that I had also lost a child.
But when my grandma was dying she had someone from her hall there everyday. They would come to say hi, or bring us food. Some would go get her mail or take out her trash. We took care of her physically, but they showed true christian spirit in their support for us all.
They were there the night she died too, crying with us.
momz
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llbh
I had an experience similar to that in some ways . I had just lost parents close together , no help from the local elders. I t was my problem so i managed, got through it.
Then the elders came around to counsel me and about my 4y old daugter smelling of urine!!
I said on a scale of 1-10 what you are worried about is 0, so unimportant. I had just lost both parents within 10 months.
They left me alone and i left them
David
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parakeet
momzcrazy wrote: "....they showed true christian spirit in their support for us all."
Second, I'm glad at least a few dubs somewhere have enough heart to help the elderly, as they did with your grandmother and as my parents used to do.
Third, I wonder if your experience was the rule or the exception. -
momzcrazy
Third, I wonder if your experience was the rule or the exception.
I'm afraid it was the exception. But I am glad my grandma was able to experience the exception, not the rule.
momz
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parakeet
llbh wrote: "Then the elders came around to counsel me and about my 4y old daugter smelling of urine!!"
If, on the other hand, the dubs are in any way inconvenienced by someone's problems, THEN they will come to "counsel" you about it. A little girl smelling of pee -- I ask you? Could anything be more trivial than that?
They will let their faithful elderly languish and die without lifting a finger, but if they so much as get a whiff of an odor, they go for the throat. -
buffalosrfree
If one wants support when in the hospital and or on bed rest at home they should have been willing to do those things for others also. The fact that the elder body doesn't really give a hoot in most circumstances is only too true.
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Babylon the Great Employee
My mom's long-time neighbor was an elderly sister in the congregation. One day, while out in service, this sister fell and broke her hip. (Personally, I think she should have sued the WTBTS for workers compensation.) She had to have major surgery, physical therapy and rehabilitation, and could not take care of herself for several months. She had no living relatives. My mom took her into her home for those several months, took care of her at her own expense (including the many not-so-glamorous aspects of nursing related care), and not a single other brother or sister at the congregation offered to help, to give their time or give her money for food or other expenses. Mom had gone to the elders and asked them to make announcements asking people to offer their assistance. Maybe they did, but no one ever helped. If not for my mom, who isn't even "spiritually strong," there would have been no one to care for this woman. This woman had given her entire life to the organization, and no one else even cared enough to come visit.
JW's complain all the time about other religions and worldly friends, but when I went through a difficult time last year medically, we immediately got the Casserole Brigade from people at our church and our other friends. People came to visit, sent flowers and gifts, they even tried to give us money (which we refused to take), they pushed casseroles on us, and sent out a bazillion prayer emails to everyone they knew. I've learned what real friends are, and what real Christian charity is.
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LearningMore
Sort of related...There was a very elderly brother in my congregation as a kid. He was a little "rough around the edges" in that he would hack up phlegm in service and some refused to work with him, but I always thought he was a sweet old man. Anyway, I think he may have gone into a home or something for awhile (we didn't see him for some time...maybe his worldly relatives were taking care of him). Anyway, he seemed to me to be a real fixture in the congregation. When he died, his funeral was at our hall. Literally maybe 20 people showed up. I was appalled even as a teen.
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parakeet
Babylon the Great Employee and LearningMore: Your accounts are typical of the dubs' anti-Christian, anti-love, anti-humanity attitude when it comes to caring for their sick and elderly.
I knew long before I started this thread that dubs in general (there are a few heart-warming exceptions) are motivated by self-interest, not kindness. This is evident by their hatred for the world, but what's even worse, they hate their own kind if one deviates even one degree from the "perfect dub" image and expectation, even if the deviation is beyond one's control.
Heartless bastards.