Times and Unforeseen Occurances

purplesofa

I can barely remember the anguish I used to go through as a Witness trying to figure out if I had Jehovahs Spirit with me, or if Jehovah was allowing Satan to test me or if things happened because of times and unforeseen occurances.

Confusion.....anxiety I would pray, pray pray to Jah for guidance. Anytime something good happened it was always Jehovah watching out over me.

Now, I was not born a witness...I became a witness, then I was DF, reinstated, and now apostate. And things have happened in my life pretty much the same in all circumstances. And now that I am approaching 50 yrs of age, I also have a bit of life experiance and a track record behind me.

You can look at "worldly" people and they have their ups and downs in life. Athiest....all religions have their same sort of stuff going on. As witnesses we were sooooo different in our outlook at what did and did not happen for us.

I take my life as it comes. Strive for goals, some I achieve, some I don't. I don't have that constant stress of whether Jah's spirit is with me or not, the confusion.

Hope I am making sense!!! How do you explain, handle the good/bad that happens in your life now?

purps

snowbird

You are making a lot of sense.

Nice to have you posting again. How's little Jada Marie?

Sylvia

LovesDubs

Stuff just happens Purple...your choices bring most of it to you, the rest is somebody elses choices bringing their shit into your life :) I have to look at my brother who is going on 49 in July. He married a woman in 1990, they both became Mormons, good solid family. Four children. She died of pancreatic cancer in May 07 at age 44. WAY too early to die. Then upon her death, my brother lost his home, he lost his cars, he filed for bankruptcy, his dog died and he got laid off from his job. BOOM....less than 12 months all that happened. Never a nicer guy on the planet you know? He feels like Job...or a country western song or something. :) And...in the last two months, he also met a woman on the Mormon Singles website. Theyve fallen madly in love with each other and are getting married in September and her family has wealth and room for him and his kids to come live with them.

So go figure.

I do know when I have a better attitude about my life, better things happen. Negative energy.

purplesofa

She is doing great, thank-you. Five months old yesterday.

something else I wanted to say.

It felt as a Witness, my hard work in doing something was discounted. Everything was contigent on whether I had God's blessing or not. Things just happened along because must be what Jah wanted. It did nothing to help my self-esteem. Maybe it was just me, I had messed up logic within the messed up logic of JW thinking.

I just know I am happier now.

purps

Finally-Free

JW crosses the street and gets hit by a bus = time and unforseen occurance.
JW crosses the street and gets missed by a bus = Jehovah's blessing.
Apostate crosses the street and gets hit by a bus = Jehovah's judgement.
Apostate crosses the street and gets missed by a bus = time and unforseen occurance.

W

purplesofa

Finally-Free

exactly!

LovesDubs

Oh...and when you are depressed and you are a Witness...its your fault you are depressed because "Jehovahs People are Happy People". And you must have lost Jehovahs blessing in your life because you arent going out in service or going to meetings regularly and so you are doing this to yourself. So...you get MORE depressed because you arent pleasing Jehovah and then the "friends" help the situation by shunning you because if you are depressed you must be doing something wrong so you are bad association. And on and on and on....so JWs dont admit they have depression, they just go to the health food store and stock up on homeopathic meds so they dont have to SAY they are depressed to save face.

Vicious cycle.

purplesofa

LOL LovesDubs,

so true. There is never clarity. Stay in a perpetual fog.

purps

changeling

You make perfect sense.

changeling :)

Casper

Good post, Purps...

Before I became a witness, I never gave it a thought as to why the things that happened in my life happened. I just assumed "That was Life"....

After getting involved with witnesses, I thought "Wow"... kinda like having a protective shield around me. But, you know what... Sh*t still Happened...!! (see profile).

So much guilt... must have been my fault, not enough faith, I wasn't doing enough, blah, blah...attitude of other witness only reinforced those feelings.

Now that I am out, I am back to thinking, it's just how things are, Life is Life... ups and downs. I do think our choices have a large part to play in the outcome.

So glad to be away from the guilt trips...

Cas

Times and Unforeseen Occurances

Share this