Ran into old JW friend in the airport...Correspondence has ensued...

by Confession 51 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Quandry

  Jon, my friend, if you have something / anything positive, encouraging, up-building to share, I'd love to hear it!!!

  How about this:

  Great news!! The Watchtower became a Non Governmental Associate of the United Nations for ten years. Guess they have really "learned how to ride the wild beast" professionally by now.

  Did you hear the upbuilding comment from the WTBTS? They said they felt really bad about victims of child abuse after they paid out millions of dollars after losing court cases where they tried to defend themselves because of telling the victims not to go to the police, and many times not taking any action against the perpetrators.

  I am sure you get the picture......lots of positive things to share with your friend........
• 

  lisavegas420

  Why do JW's use such strange anologys?

  I thought of you and our conversation, and wished you could see the comparison between your 'life' choices that you have, and the paper towel choice I had.

  and how the hell does your life choices compare to his paper towel choices?

  lisa
• 

  DanTheMan

  Ugh, that email was so condescending. The CrackTower's stock-and-trade since the days of Joey Rutherford has been to continually and loudly denigrate every other religion on the earth as being of Satan. "Upbuilding" my arse.
• 

  johnny1980

  he used the words "up-building".... RED FLAG!
• 

  BabaYaga

  Wow. I have to say that I think something sadder than active JWs are INACTIVE JWs who still believe it is the (T)ruth... they all think they are going to die and that Armegeddon is coming at them with both barrels!
  
  Oh my. You know, it is really hard for me to believe or admit that I was just a BIT of an apologist for years... I did NOT think it was the (T)ruth, but I didn't think they were dangerous, and I certainly didn't think they would ever do anything covert and deceptive. HA!!! It was the U.N. scandal that opened my eyes after two decades. Funny thing is, it seems to be different for everyone. For some it was 607, for some it was the '95 generation change...
  
  At any rate, Confession, it is awesome you two are back in touch. This man is afraid. He still believes it is the truth and he is terrified. I think some good will come from this... tread lightly, and don't expect him to come out of his denial instantaneously.
  
  Keep us posted.
  
  Love,
  Baba.
• 

  tartarus

  Sometimes, no matter how much you want something, you just can't have it 'both' ways

  Well, he's obviously having it 'both' ways. Out of the Org, but still preaching. He's obviously in the autopilot mode.

  I think I'm guilty of that too sometimes, defending the beliefs and JW's as mostly decent folk( but not the Org ). :)

  I think everyone is a bit of a Pharisee. Labeling people "Apostates" or "Jdubs" is equally patronizing and hurtful. Labelling WTS as a cult is the same thing it does to label other religions as being part of Babylon the Great.
• 

  Hortensia

  you're wasting your time. He's smug and feels superior, although clearly he's a hypocrite since he believes but doesn't practice "the truth." Delete his email address and move on.
• 

  nameless_one

  I have to say that I think something sadder than active JWs are INACTIVE JWs who still believe it is the (T)ruth...

  
  Amen to that. The sole reason I am even on JWD is because I am an UBM with a JW who fits this description precisely. Reading about your positive and laid-back experience with your friend, followed by his whacked-out self-righteous email, the entire course of it all is painfully familiar to me.
  
  People in this mindset really are very difficult to reason with and connect with, but ONLY in regards to the JW stuff. I'm in the unfortunate position of having no choice but to find a way through the JW stuff, but if this person is a relatively casual friend to you, you have better options. In my experience, people in this "grey area" can be fine and fun and normal, open and open-minded, SO LONG AS you don't habitually push the JW buttons. Doing that will bring out the rote replies and glazed eyes and mental shutdown, and it often escalates badly if pursued. If it would work for you to maintain a friendly connection with this guy and keep the JW discussions to a minimum, that's your in. Perhaps over time his eyes will gradually open, but you run a real risk of sending him running for the hills from the evil apostate if you push too hard or too soon.
  
  I feel for you, it's a maddening way to have to interact and connect with someone. I don't claim to understand it, but I sure am familiar with it.
• 

  cognizant dissident

  Why does the "something better" have to be another religion? If anyone said that to me, I could answer positively, "Yes, I have found something better, Reality and freedom from false religious teachings, dangerous doctrines, and psychologically cruel shunning practices. It's wonderful!"
• 

  steve2

  I've known many, many ex-Jws like your old acquaintance. They all seem to suffer from the following clinical syndrome called NABAY Disorder (an acronym for Not As Bad As You). In short, this refers to people who themselves fall short of the Watchtower's teachings. For example, they may not have stepped foot in a Kingdom Hall for years. This circumstance leaves them in a state of perpetual unease: What if it's the truth? What if the end comes and I'm still inactive?

  To salve their weary consciences they are especially sensitive to people like you who have also left the religion but who are in a "worse" spiritual state in their view. Therefore, they get an unexpected boost to their fragile egos by defending the religion against your badly-motivated questioning. The subtext of their messages to you can be compressed into one pithy sentence:

  "Whatever "bad" things we've done, at least we're Not As Bad As You. They suffer from NABAY Disorder.

  There are a million and one ways humans deceive themselves. NABAY Disorder is only one.