I'd say this sounds more like it would be written by Simon more so than Hillary Step. But, Simon, I must say it's been a long time since you posted a "stupid Americans" thread. These days you do differentiate between the right and the left and you don't paint us all with the same broad brush.
I love British music and comedy and movies. And I agree, it is painful to hear Renee Zelwigger doing Bridget Jones. But then it's hilarious watching old Benny Hill episodes where he attempts to sound southern or like a cowboy.
I think we have better food. We don't eat kidneys. We don't eat lamb very often. I don't like the stuff. Unless it's in a gyro. And we chill our drinks or put ice in them. Baseball is far more exciting to me than soccer. Soccer is mildly amusing. Baseball, well baseball is magic. I can take or leave American football or rugby.