Probably about five years.I was baptized Feb 2,1996 I always had these questions or doubts,but continually looking for that 'person' I could confide in who wouldn't 1.) turn me in to the elders. 2.) browbeat me with the bible,and give me the "your sprituality is weak,read your literature and pray more.." line. 3.) Determine I was 'bad association' and spread this to others.
I flipped flopped over the years. Reaching out, doing everything. At one point for doing Magazine and Book room. Doing One before the meeting, and the latter after. In between I carried the microphones...some nights when 'younger' brothers did not show, I'd do aisle AND stage. It became. I began to see I was NEVER doing enough WHAT THE HELL ???? I Reached out because i really liked the Kool-aid, and was a true believer. But I began to see you had really kiss some a**
Plus I was Regular Pioneering and trying to do the two-year college deal, I was beat. By year 5 I was in my current job for two years, and burned out. I get to the meeting early to speak to everyone,not jst to do it,but as an elder told me, get to know everyone, and damn it I knew all 120 or people in like an month and a half. I made the effort to get bto know them. When I came in only one broither really had anything to do with me, and I HATED feeling, so I really did try.
Nonetheless by 2005, I was hanging by a string, and noticed most people in my age group, were flat out leaving, or just didn't give a damn who knew what they did. The actions of others in the organization, the 1914 bit,which I have been looking at VERY closey, since I was baptized in 1996, and started studying 'for real' in 1994/95. Even as far back as the King of the North Deal with the USSR. I ALWAYS wondered about these things. Not to mention ALL my friends who went to jail, strung out on drugs......that surprised me,because I thought we were all on the up and up.
